Dad is shop lifting

[blue sea]

Haven't had quite your problem, Harley, but did worry whenever dad went on his long walks , going for his paper, cup of tea at a cafe etc that people might be taking more money than they should off him as he always had to pay with a note once he lost ability to deal with change. In grand scheme of things I think you have to let people with dementia have as much independence for as long as possible, as long as you are reasonably sure they are safe, of course. I would have thought shopkeepers would recognize that your dad was not deliberately stealing so I wouldn't worry too much. Does he carry identification and your contact number? I used to get dad to do this, with a note saying I needed to be contacted urgently if any problems.
Blue sea

 

[Margarita]

I'm afraid we're trivialising your problem -- sorry

Please don’t perceive it like that , don’t think they is a way around it , only if you take that freedom away from him and do not let him go out alone .

my mother would go shopping with me , while I pay she would sit down a wait for me in her hand she would have item that she had not pay for , while I could see the security man hovering around looking as if he not looking what my mother has in her hand .

We all no the day will come , when they can not go shopping on they own any more , as they wonder and get lost of because of the AZ then the inconvenience Stress it puts the carer in with all the worry , what else can be done to stop it , then just going with him every time he go out .

 

[jenniferpa]

Where is Sue when you need her? I don't know about the legal postion: one would hope that people would be understanding, but sometimes it doesn't work out that way. Why not call the Alzheimers Help Line? I'm sure this wouldn't be the first time they've been asked the question.

Anyway welcome to TP

Jennifer
P.S. I'm glad we've managed to corral those wild

 

[Margarita]

They is no legal postion , its all under the discretion of the store / shop

If they want to prosecute ( am I right sue ? )


All shop have different policy in how they handle situation like thief, I only know this because I work in theft and lost in Marks and Spence .They just like to scare the living day life out of you , don’t blame them as a lot of money is lost from shop lifting ,


That why you see sigh up saying shop lifter's will be prosecuted , it a deterrent , because they can do it if they want to , or use they discretion ( don't say you heard it on TP lol )



calling police , paper work takeing her dad to court would cost them more money then what he stole , so they would use they discretion

 

[Grannie G]

Hi Harley, you could always follow your dad to see what he gets up to.

 

[jenniferpa]

Yes I agree Maggie: it's down to the store whether they will or will not prosecute. I was really thinking, when I said legal position, is what happens if someone isn't competent and the store prosecutes.

 

[Gromit]

Notify shop?

Hi Harley

Does he go to the same shops all of the time? Perhaps he has a routine? If so you could always have a quick word with the shop staff on the quiet and make sure that they approach him in an appropriate and considerate manner or they could just let you know so you could reimburse them and your Dad wouldn't need be any the wiser - of course you would need to trust the shop keeper(s) too!

My Dad goes to the local pub with Mum on weekends and he often forgets how much to pay for drinks or if he has paid for them or not - the staff are all very aware and look after him. Though Mum is always there to make sure he gets his change etc.

Just a thought - not sure if this is of any help to you.

Good luck.

Alison

 

[noelphobic]

quite a number of years ago my dad drove away from a petrol station without paying. I think he was in his 70s or 80s at the time. He didn't have dementia but he just forgot. While he was still out the police turned up at my parents house and asked my mum if she was his wife. If I had been there I would have been very annoyed - if the police turned up at my door asking if I was related to someone I would assume that something terrible had happened to them!

My dad went back to the petrol station and paid and that was the end of it. I think the police could have handled it much better though. I would also be very surprised if they would do something like that these days.

 

[Margarita]

I suppose then , before going to court hopefully you have good representation , have a diagnose letter from doctor saying that one has dementia and its thrown out of court , before it get they .

If I am right I am sure police deal with it before it goes to court .

 

[noelphobic]

I suppose then , before going to court hopefully you have good representation , have a diagnose letter from doctor saying that one has dementia and its thrown out of court , before it get they .

If I am right I am sure police deal with it before it goes to court .

They could always give him an electronic tag as an alternative to prison

http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/TalkingPoint/discuss/showthread.php?t=6261

 

[Margarita]

They could always give him an electronic tag as an alternative to prison

No still no good because you can’t still see what they are doing.



I know your jokeing , but they are not the same Tagging, Tag someone with AZ as to when they given a tag to someone alternative to prison


The boy downstairs had one, where I last live, and it would set of if he went out after 10 pm , or was not in by 10pm .

people should not have the perception and perceive that the two are the same , as it would discourage someone with AZ getting technical assistant





Thanks for that link, as I forgot about it and needed to ask a question

 

[May]

Hi Harley & welcome

Sorry can't help on this one , no experience, but if he's shopping locally and the shops know him maybe you could go and have a quiet word with them...just a thought. Hope you manage to find a solution

Suprised and touched how kind and helpful total strangers turned out to be towards him. Maybe he was just lucky ..

Not luck, I reckon it's because we're the biggest 'village' in Britain Áine.

 

[Harley]

Thanks for all your help.

Dad does have a route that he goes on every day. It is only if this routine gets disrupted that we have problems like him getting lost, and we have had to call the police a few times. However he does seem to have a happy little life as such at present. He gets at least 3 visits a day from his family and we take care of shopping, bills, money etc.

I might go out with him one day next week and have a look at exactly what shops he goes in.

xxxxxxx

 

[Grannie G]

That`s the best idea, Harley. I`ve been round all our local shops and told them my husband has Alzheimers, that he has his contact details in his wallet, and asked them to phone me if there`s any problems.

 

[Harley]

Can anyone give me any advice as to what support we should be getting at this stage of dad's illness?

He has tablets but his doctor just provides repeat prescriptions. It is so long since the doctor actually saw dad that I had a letter the other day from the surgery to tell me that his annual blood test was due and would I make arrangements for someone to take him to the hospital. (He was diagnosed about 18 months ago)

We did ask social services for help at one point and someone came out to see dad and we have never heard any further news from them.

I noticed in one of the posts on here that someone had said their loved one was a stage 5 or something. Dad is no where near as poorly as some of the people discussed on here but we have no idea about what stage he is at, or what is likely to happen next.

What should we be asking for? I presume that because we are not demanding support we are not getting any, or is this usual at this stage of this horrible disease??

 

[noelphobic]

Can anyone give me any advice as to what support we should be getting at this stage of dad's illness?

We did ask social services for help at one point and someone came out to see dad and we have never heard any further news from them.

Hi Harley

Do you know whether social services did an assessment when they saw your dad? From what you say it sounds as though you have had no feedback from them. It may be a good idea to get in touch with them again. This factsheet will explain something about assessments.

http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/After_diagnosis/Getting_support/info_communityassessment.htm

You need to think about what kind of support you think would be helpful and then you can see if that is available.

Hope this is of some help.

 

[Harley]

Thank you Brenda, and everyone on here for your concern and kindness.

xxxx

 

[Margarita]

Would your father go AZ day canter?

As you can ask for that, as the disease progresses your need help with washing your father , if you have a good family unit they could help out with house work and shopping, if not SS can offer help with that , the they is respite that your father can in to give the career (your mother ? ) a rest .

So if you want you can start with Daycentre

 

[Grannie G]

Hi Harley.

I don`t get support, because I haven`t asked for it. My husband was diagnosed 2 years ago.

I am just venturing into support groups for couples, although I haven`t been to any yet, but I did attend one Carers Voice Support, which I think will prove helpful.

He should qualify for Attendence Allowance, if it`s found he needs constant help.

The social services should have assessed him, when they visited, so I would have thought you`d have received some report.

Others will be able to tell you more, and there will be information on the AS Fact Sheets.

You will also find information about the Stages on the AS Fact Sheets.

 

[Skye]

I presume that because we are not demanding support we are not getting any, or is this usual at this stage of this horrible disease??

Absolutely right, Harley. We have all learned the hard way that unless you jump up and down and make a noise, you'll be left to get on with it!

The first point is medication. What is your dad on? If he is taking Alzheimer's meds, he should be reviewed regularly. Does he have a consultant? You really should go and see his GP and insist that your dad is monitored.

You asked about stages -- there are seven identified stages, although many people do not fit exactly into any, but show symptoms from two or more. They can also fluctuate from day to day.

You can read the stages at:

http://www.alz.org/alzheimers_disease_stages_of_alzheimers.asp

Thirdly, you need to get back to social services. Ask for a review, tell thm the problems you have, and demand help.

They should put a care plan in place, and give you a copy.

Enough to be going on with? Stay with us, we're always here!

PS I didn't get my gin last night!

Love,