Respite

jools

Registered User
Jun 29, 2004
39
0
hi everyone,

The more I read about assessments, the more I realise how lucky I have been with mum re getting care in and getting the SS to pay for it.
I live in Scotland and as you probably know, the law is different here. There is provision for funding of personal care. This was pushed through by Henry McLeish in the Scottish Parliament; he was deposed from the post of First Minister shortly afterwards. Some of us think that this was because Westminster was annoyed that he had pushed this through, thus causing an unfavourable comparison with them.
When we had mum's assessment, someone from the social work came round. We were told that we could get carers employed by the council, but that they couldn't guarantee that we would get the same carer in each day and that it could change a lot. The alternative was that they would recommend a couple of companies that we could get this kind of service from. So we picked one and for the next year or so, we got in a single carer from this agency and paid for it ourselves. In the meantime my social worker changed, and he got wind of this. He said that SS should be contributing some money towards this and that we should apply. To do this, we had to fill in details of pensions, savings etc. When it came back the council didn't want to fund us cos we weren't using their workers. We dropped the matter for a couple of months and then our social worker changed again. She said it was b****y ridiculous that we weren't getting funded and she negotiated it that we got the carer from this agency paid for by the council. I have to confess I'm not sure how she wrangled it but i think it goes something like this; under Scots law, we're entitled to about £200 worth of personal care per week in our situation. That is what it costs to bring this carer in for the number of hours that we have. So the council are using central government money rather than their local authority funding to pay for this, and then its not an issue about us using their workers. Mum also goes to a day centre which is a specialist unit for people with mild to moderate dementia and that is free as well. It is also funded by the Scottish Executive. I think this unit is unique though; I don't know of any others like it.
I've probably made you all insanely jealous now, but sometimes things can go right for us. It is very subjective; in this case it depended on our social worker lobbying for us. It also depended on a facility near us, and it depended on the fact that Mum is on Aricept and this has meant that her condition is manageable enough for her to attend the day centre. Mum isn't aggressive, nor does she have delusions and that's a big plus. My sisters were also a great help in pursuing the SS about Mum; every time we phoned the SS we were told our worker was out , so they organised a 'pester power' campaign where each of them phoned up in turn. I think we've been bl**dy lucky. I've kept it to myself up until now, but I've put this in so that you don't give up, you can get results.

Jools
 

Sheila

Registered User
Oct 23, 2003
2,259
0
West Sussex
Dear Barraff, good for you, to have the bumf pack ready for them! Stick to your guns, explore all avenues, ask about day care centres in your area for those already assessed as having dementia, there must be some, she is not the only sufferer! They are usually council run, Mum went to one after her assessment day care finished. I gradually built it up to 5 days as the need arose. Of course you need to speak to them/him without Margaret being there, you can't say how things really are, you love her damn it, you won't say anything to hurt or embarrass her, why don't they realise that! As you are not expecting to get anything for free (we didn't either) you could always ask around, have you got a local A.S contact to find out what help is available locally? I warn you, it ain't cheap, but it can be the difference between sink or swim! I don't know how far along the road Margaret is, Mum went to Crossroads one day a week for over two years before she got too much for them. We also tried Age Concern but she got chucked out after a month! Both of these are subsidised so won't cost you so much and they are usually really nice. Mum's sister often went with her to Crossroads, she thoroughly enjoyed it too. They called it a lunch/social club so Mum didn't clock it. You stayed as long as you liked, Mum went 10am to 4pm perhaps you could do it too? I don't know what is available in your area, but someone there does, if you don't know your nearest contacts, ring the A.S office tomorrow, they should be able to tell you. You could also ask the unit that does assessments where the people go to after that, I did.
The agency stuff he sends you, if Crossroads arn't on there, find out if they, or similar work in your area, you can get a night or some 3 hour respites there. Never heard about this £20 a night though, if you can get it at that price go for it, it's usually a lot more. We had agency AM and PM it helped a lot once I got the right team. I do hope things soon improve now. The SW will have to fill in a report and you should get a copy, if you don't, ask why not. This should outline Margaret's care needs. They then have an obligation to do their best to help you fill those needs but this is noot set in stone, they can only do their best. It should also take into account your own needs as a carer and the increasing difficulties you meet trying to cope alone.
We never did get a CPN, the consultant at the assessment centre talked with the SW and things were arranged from there. Has Margaret been to an assessment centre for day care yet, it is usually for one day a week for 6 to 10 weeks, they can be very helpful, might give you a breathing space and that is on the NHS!! Hope you get things sorted soon. Love, She. XX
 

Sheila

Registered User
Oct 23, 2003
2,259
0
West Sussex
Jools, you jammy devil!! Well bxxxxy done!! If it sets a presedent for our lot then double well done. I am really pleased for you. It has to start somewhere and if it's started up in bonnie Scotland then hopefully it will take hold across the border before too long. I was also really pleased that your sisters and you all pulled together like that, it makes a change!! Love, She. XX
 
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Chesca

Guest
Dear All

Another confession (and I'm NOT a social worker)

It's very rare for me to defend anybody working in the system, but if you try to phone your social worker and she ain't there that's because she is also somebody else's 'my social worker' and she/he is out there doing the same for............possibly me! who knows. If they are in the office, they WILL be at meetings, because otherwise their brief is to be out there looking after their caseloads.

The social worker, in my experience, is the political football for the NHS side of things - the CPN, consultant, us and the various agencies who never communicated down the line - (mine got accused of bed blocking when we refused a nursing home place we didn't approve of, for example) and she wept alongside Dad when this was the final diagnosis. She has a big heart but she is as much a victim of the system sometimes as we are. It's the system that needs to change. And the training of the hands-on carers we are being allocated - a lot of them sadly deficient......in my opinion only, of course.

Sorry, it's late and am having a bit of a rant
Kind thoughts
Chesca
 

Sheila

Registered User
Oct 23, 2003
2,259
0
West Sussex
Dear Ches, my social worker was my best ally, she really fought our corner, you just have to say your piece and hope they pick up on it. She was always out there in the field for all her clients, not just us, I really cannot speak highly enough of her. At times, she held the fine thread that was threatening to break my sanity. All you can do is give them the ammo to fire at the system, without that they can't do any more than we can, but you are right, they have hearts of gold, at least Mum's did and I think the majority do, given a chance. They would never stay the course if they didn't care because they get the flack from all sides don't they. But you have to give them the ammo!! Love She.XX
 
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Chesca

Guest
Dear Midnight Minnie

Yes, they do seem to be the ones up on the high wire with no net to fall into. Ours, and she still is ours, has recently fought Dad's corner over some financial extortion or another. She feels very strongly about her charges.

Pity the same can't be said for a lot of the other agency staff, landing jobs with very little experience - one of our 'carers' was only interested in men and when my partner arrived to pick me up was hell bent on showing him her latest body piercings in varying places, increasingly intimate. He was mortified. The woman was 56, desparate and looked it! What was she doing in my mother's home, for God's sake! I do believe the agency subsequently fired her. Wonder why!

Love Chesca the night owl
 

Sheila

Registered User
Oct 23, 2003
2,259
0
West Sussex
Hi Snowy!! I was a Brown when the kids were small!! What was her day job or was she really a lady of the night?? Beats me where they dig them up from. We used to have to do police checks and sign the official secrets when I was doing it, what is going on?? Although having said that, there are some real smashers out there who are really wonderful. I know the ones that came to mum at the end were dedicated to her care, they got as upset as I did at times. It takes all sorts and some just do it 'cause it fits in with their life style etc. others are what you call dedicated. I think you have to suss 'em out and then take your pick, if they don't do things how you want, you have to say so, and refuse to have them. It's the only way to improve things, not just for ourselves but for others coming up the same darn hill. I have trouble sleeping, all over the place, years of practice!! Just taken a couple of Nitols with a cuppa soup so expect I shall toddle off soon now, night night Ches,Love She. XX
 

jools

Registered User
Jun 29, 2004
39
0
Hi Chesca ,

Take your point about social workers and I'm not complaining about them at all; it was us getting a good social worker that got us this break. What was actually happening , was that whenever I phoned, (and they would obviously be out on call as you say), I had to leave a message with the secretary. The secretary could not book me in my social worker's appointments diary herself for some reason, and would tell me that they would phone back. They didn't and it was obvious that the secretary wasn't passing on the message. It got to the stage that my sisters thought that I was lying to them about phoning the SS and that I'd given up on getting council funding; it took a week of them phoning to realise that I was telling the truth! I think social workers get a **** time and a **** pay; mum's had five different social workers over the past two years cos they have such a high turnover rate. It's the same with nurses; up here 1800 nurses have just qualified for the profession and at the same time 1800 have left! If we paid them a bit more, employed a few more to take the pressure off, maybe we'd have a better system and save a lot of money on training folk that are going to leave within a couple of years? See when I'm prime minister, I'll sort them all out...
 

Sheila

Registered User
Oct 23, 2003
2,259
0
West Sussex
Jools, don't know whether it's possible, but when I couldn't speak to Mum's, I used to ask the Receptionist/secretary/telephonist/??! to please put me through so I could leave a message on Tracy's ansaphone. This I then did, and she ALWAYS got back to me. Perhaps you could try that? Love, She. XX
 

Chloe

Registered User
Jun 3, 2004
14
0
Hi

Does anyone have any info on voluntary orgs other than Crossroads providing a couple of hours respite? I told my mum there was a Crossroads in her area and she e-mailed them to find out if there was any help she could get - basically she can't leave the house at all, my grandmother can't be left on her own, and she wanted to know if there was any way she could get just an hour a week or something... the only reply she got was a package of leaflets with details of carer support groups - all very nice but not in these circumstances helpful. I am sure they are running on less than a shoestring but still. My mum only gets a break if I get over (from not near - not feasible more than every two months) or if, as happened last month, they arranged privately funded respite for a week - this was very traumatic though, my grandmother cried for hours when she was collected (it turned out - eventually - this wasn't anything to do with my mum, she had had a very nice carer and he wasn't around to say goodbye to when she left). But it has made her very wary about arranging any further periods of respite and it would be so good if they could get some as a part of normal life - god, that sounds naive, after all I have just read everyone else's postings
 
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Chesca

Guest
Dear Chloe

Bear with me. I'm going to do this one seemingly boring question at a time. But there is a reason for this - the information overload gets sooooooo, sooooo

One by one: Am I right to in assuming your Grandma has a social worker? I just need a yes/no

Love from Chesca
 

barraf

Registered User
Mar 27, 2004
308
0
Huddersfield
Hello Chloe

You could try Age Concern, in some areas they can provide carers/sitters for short periods, two or three hours.

Best of luck

Barraf.
 
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Chesca

Guest
Dear jools

I know you weren't having a 'go' at social workers. It's probably me trying to address some of the balance - I often do have a 'go' and I worry that people may think I'm laying the blame at their door! I'm not, it's more complicated than that.

And anyway, we're all moving to Scotland. My grandmother was a 'Duncan' and I'm claiming my birthright! Watch out for the council tax increase.

Lotsa
Chesca
 

barraf

Registered User
Mar 27, 2004
308
0
Huddersfield
Dear All

Next instalment on the SS saga.

The Social Worker and a collegue came today Thursday to continue the assessment of Margaret and myself. (Only four days since he was last here, my estimation of him is going up by leaps and bounds.)

He conducted his interview with me in one room and the other SW (a lady) tried to interview Margaret in the other room. But she (Margaret) wasn't having any, after a few minutes she was coming in to see where I was and refusing to talk to the SW at all.

By dint of sending her on spurious errands upstairs to fetch her outdoor clothing prior to going out, we managed to complete my interview.

She went upstairs four time to fetch her jacket that I had left on the bed and four times she came back down without it.

I was quite pleased with the way things went as it showed just what the situation is, and the sort of things that go on all the time.
The SW seemed quite impressed with the 14 pages of bumf that I had provided on his last visit. Mind you he has got his own back by bringing me a large envelope A4 size full of some more reading matter.

As I have already posted on another thread, the SW is going to apply for Direct Payment to pay for a carer/sitter for initially four hours/week. If it comes through it will be a big help.

Will continue to keep you posted.

Cheers Barraf
 

Sheila

Registered User
Oct 23, 2003
2,259
0
West Sussex
Dear Barraff, already replied to your other thread, but so pleased they saw just what things are really like for you, even for a few minutes. This is what they need to give them the ammo to help. If we don't tell and show it as it is, if they have no information, how can we expect them to see what is needed? You did very well, and, in her own way, so did your wife, to get the help you both of you need to cope with this horrid illness which is affecting both of you in so many different ways. God bless, love She. XX
 

Chloe

Registered User
Jun 3, 2004
14
0
Dear Chesca and Barraf and Norman

Thanks for replying. Chesca, yes she does have a social worker but Soc Services have not really been involved since my grandmother moved in with my mum at the beginning of the year. She was so keen to maintain her independence, and social Services I have to say were really good with providing care then, but the situation became untenable. The social worker did come and see her and told her about lunch clubs and all sorts of things but my grandmother has always disliked the idea and in the last few months there have been changes in her behaviour to do with eg the amount of clothes she likes to have on which means it would not really be suitable. I think it would probably be simpler if it was a care matter like bathing or dressing but that doesn't really come into it. I will check out Age concern and the Resources. Thanks.

Chloe
 
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Chesca

Guest
Dear Chloe

Right. Next bit. Does the GP know the level of Nan's state now? If she doesn't she needs to, in order to refer Nan to a consultant for assessment in order to establish necessary drugs, if any, and the way forward. This will separate from the social worker at this stage (although she will always be in the background and ready when any package is decided for your Nan's care). All this in an ideal world, but one thing at a time.

My mum couldn't hack lunch clubs and day centres either, she had never enjoyed that kind of life pre-dementia and she wasn't going to do it post diagnosis.

You're doing fine, little by little
Chesca
 

Sheila

Registered User
Oct 23, 2003
2,259
0
West Sussex
Dear Chloe, the first time round that I asked for help at home with my Mum, it only lasted a few weeks and was a real disaster. But later on, as things became harder, I requested we try again. This time, with a different agency, it worked much better. It took a while, but I did find it helped me a lot. Perhaps you could suggest it to your Mum to have another go? The clothes bit is difficult, but if the relief home care or home used for respite is suitable for caring for Alz/dementia sufferers, they are geared up to cope with it so try not to worry. Your Nan is not alone in wanting to do the dance of the seven veils, it's something many sufferers do. Love She. XX