I feel for you as my father does not even recognise me. The tears we shed are not for us but for our little people suffering this horrid condition. We do our best but the person we see is not the one we remember. Keep in your mind better times and funny little things you did to-gether. Xx
Mum "palliative only" now
- Thread starter sunray
- Start date
Oh Sue, what a dreadful few months it has been for you and I do sympathise greatly. It is hard enough, goodness knows, to lose a person as close to you as your husband but now to face losing a second in such quick succession is devastating. The continual facing of each day of expecting the sad news will also be playing havoc with your nerves. I feel for you at this time love XXX
some days good, some days bad
Mum has been up and down this week. Last week she and another room mate were scripted for morphine "just in case". On Thursday the room mate died and Mum seems to have rallied again. Every day is like Ground Hog Day, so many days of deja vu now and I never know what to expect to see when I visit her.
So I just visit her every day, talk to the staff, sit with her for a while then go out and have a coffee or lunch and come home and wait for the next phone call. It is a real helpless feeling.
Sue.
Mum has been up and down this week. Last week she and another room mate were scripted for morphine "just in case". On Thursday the room mate died and Mum seems to have rallied again. Every day is like Ground Hog Day, so many days of deja vu now and I never know what to expect to see when I visit her.
So I just visit her every day, talk to the staff, sit with her for a while then go out and have a coffee or lunch and come home and wait for the next phone call. It is a real helpless feeling.
Sue.
I'm so sorry you're going through so much. It's so hard when the end is long drawn out - sometimes you can't help wishing it were all over, for all your sakes, and then you feel awful for feeling like that. You're in a sort of limbo of waiting and dreading, and psyching yourself up for the worst, over and over.
Wishing you all the best at such a sad and emotionally draining time. X
Sue, this is exactly what I was going to say. I can only send you my respect for doing what you are doing. I hope you find the strength you need to keep going and dealing with what you have to deal with. Life can be so cruel at times.....
Mum on morphine now
Just had a call from the nursing home to say they have started Mum on morphine, I guess it is not long till the end now.
Sue.
Just had a call from the nursing home to say they have started Mum on morphine, I guess it is not long till the end now.
Sue.
Hi Sue,
so sorry sending you strength and love at this horrid time.
will keep you in my thoughts.
jan1962
so sorry sending you strength and love at this horrid time.
will keep you in my thoughts.
jan1962
Sue, I lost my Mom just a week back under these very conditions so you are not far behind me in this testing journey. I can assure you that although the last few days we so painful for us, Mom was comfortable and not aggitated at all. It was very peaceful and I take comfort in that I and my family took the pain and Mom had none. The Drs certificate simple said 'Dementia'. I tortured myself a lot in the final days thinkng that Mom was fading and how awful that would be, but now I think back, she never showed any signs that she was suffereing in any way, and she would have been capable of doing that through facial expression or through being aggitated. Doctors will tell you she is comfortable, you must trust that and save yourself the heartache I put myself through a couple of weeks back.
Sending love to you x
Sending love to you x
Dear Sue,
Like these other wonderful, kind people, I just wanted to let you know that you and your mother are in my mind as I go through the day. It is so good of you to keep us informed. I followed you with Ray, and now you are going through yet more pain and loss. Had the same thing with my father. He was at home and his doctor came and said "We are going to keep you very, very comfortable. We are watching over you." I found this very comforting, and so did Dad. He died very gently and peacefully. It sounds as if your Mum is also getting very kind, gentle care too.
Thinking of you, BE
Like these other wonderful, kind people, I just wanted to let you know that you and your mother are in my mind as I go through the day. It is so good of you to keep us informed. I followed you with Ray, and now you are going through yet more pain and loss. Had the same thing with my father. He was at home and his doctor came and said "We are going to keep you very, very comfortable. We are watching over you." I found this very comforting, and so did Dad. He died very gently and peacefully. It sounds as if your Mum is also getting very kind, gentle care too.
Thinking of you, BE
not over yet
I sat by Mum's bed most of the day today and was impressed by the number of people who dropped by. A physio came to look at her positioning, nurses came to make sure her temperature was okay, a nurse came and massaged her feet and put woolly socks on her as her feet were cold.Nurses aides came to wash her, change her and turn her.
The food service ladies dropped by and gave me coffee although they could not give anything to Mum as she is beyond eating and drinking now.
My sister rang me to find out how long I thought it would be but I don't have a time frame, it is one day at a time for now. I will have to have some breaks as I do have other things to do but I will be there as much as I can.
Thank you for all your support. I know many have gone beyond where I am now and survived and I take hope from that.
Sue.
I sat by Mum's bed most of the day today and was impressed by the number of people who dropped by. A physio came to look at her positioning, nurses came to make sure her temperature was okay, a nurse came and massaged her feet and put woolly socks on her as her feet were cold.Nurses aides came to wash her, change her and turn her.
The food service ladies dropped by and gave me coffee although they could not give anything to Mum as she is beyond eating and drinking now.
My sister rang me to find out how long I thought it would be but I don't have a time frame, it is one day at a time for now. I will have to have some breaks as I do have other things to do but I will be there as much as I can.
Thank you for all your support. I know many have gone beyond where I am now and survived and I take hope from that.
Sue.
