Mum's clothes

[jude50]

Today is the day that my sister and I are finally taking all 15 bags of Mum's clothes to a charity shop. I couldn't part with a couple of things just yet, her coat hung up in the utility room which still has her perfume on it and the lovely outfir she wore to my sister's wedding all those years ago. It needs to be done as i need to open up her room and make it part of my house and home instead of our house and home. I don't want a shrine but it still feels odd. Another step away from her I suppose.

Jude

 

[tre]

Dear Jude,
I remember doing this with my mum's clothes. There were outfits she had not worn for some while since her vascular dementia got worse and it needed to be easy on/ easy off clothing but looking at the smart outfits reminded me of my "real" mum before the dementia took hold and the happy times we had. Still a bit poignant though when you take them to the shop
Love Tre

 

[Cate]

Dear Jude
There are no rules, I kept quite a few things of mums, and overtime I have now let some of them go, do whatever feels right at the time. Be proud of how well you are doing. Cate

 

[Delph]

Today is the day that my sister and I are finally taking all 15 bags of Mum's clothes to a charity shop. I couldn't part with a couple of things just yet, her coat hung up in the utility room which still has her perfume on it and the lovely outfir she wore to my sister's wedding all those years ago. It needs to be done as i need to open up her room and make it part of my house and home instead of our house and home. I don't want a shrine but it still feels odd. Another step away from her I suppose.

Jude

I lost mum in July, and, as she was in a home then hosptital for the last few weeks I didn't have as big a problem as you have had. I left most of mums clothes at either the hosptal or the home as I never seemed to see mum in her own clothes from this period of time. But everytime I got to visit dad at home I see mum's shoes where she last left them. It might be a comfort to dad but disturbs me. I go into the bedroom to put dad's clean clothes away Isee mum's things in there, and tell myself I should do something, but as yet I can't. It was only last night that I woke in tears thinking back to May when we were forced to put mum in a home for her own and dad's safety, and I still feel quilty at breaking a promise that I should never have made her and that was not to do this. Time is a great healer they say, so don't force yourself to do something you are not ready for. There will be a time when all of us in the same circumstances know it is right to do something we have been putting off, and that hopefully will be a turning point for you (and me!). Thinking of you Jude

 

[creativesarah]

lots of support Jude its a difficult thing to do

 

[Saffie]

It is very hard. If it reassures you at all, I have a classic suit of my mother's, little worn it's true, and she died 30 years ago! It no longer distresses me but I won't part with it! love and sympathy X

 

[Notwaving]

Charity Shop

I manage a Charity shop and see a lot of people who are dealing with relatives things.
Some people feel the need to clear out all their loved ones stuff as it is too upsetting to have them.
Some have not been able to do it for years . I try and reassure them it's what their loved one would have wanted. The money raised will help others and that lovely wool coat will keep someone else's Mum nice and warm in the Winter.
One man could not bear the thought of seeing her things in the shop, so I transferred them to one of our shops miles away.
One thing I would say is store things if you can for a little while. You may regret not keeping anything at all. When your grief is too raw you are not thinking straight.Then keep a few things to remember them by. Christmas decorations are a good one a few special baubles to hang on your tree to remember Christmas's gone bye
Now my Mum has gone I feel their pain even more.I have been known to shed a tear over some items that are donated, Old Mother's Day cards kept over the years all carefully stored in a box.
It also has taught me to de clutter. Use all your good stuff don't keep anything 'For Best' Use your best china every day .Enjoy using crystal glasses . So what if you break one. Just a thought from one who knows x

 

[grief&sympathy]

Mums clothes

Today is the day that my sister and I are finally taking all 15 bags of Mum's clothes to a charity shop. I couldn't part with a couple of things just yet, her coat hung up in the utility room which still has her perfume on it and the lovely outfir she wore to my sister's wedding all those years ago. It needs to be done as i need to open up her room and make it part of my house and home instead of our house and home. I don't want a shrine but it still feels odd. Another step away from her I suppose.

Jude

Well done this is one of the most difficult tasks when we lose a loved one.You are being very positive in remembering her in her finery at family gatherings.It is another step nearer to accepting her loss but keeping all those wonderful memories. Good luck in the New Year

 

[piedwarbler]

Someone said to me that you can cut squares from favourite outfits and make a cushion cover or collage or just keep a square of fabric in a drawer if it helps.
I thought that was a nice idea to think about. X