I have just received the care home notes and quite frankly I have not laughed so much in ages.
In essence because I guess it is obvious I am a trouble maker the notes are slightly unfavourable to me.
For instance,the general gist is that whenever I saw my mother I upset her and she could not eat.Otherwise (despite shocking weight loss) she would have eaten. Here are some examples:
X was upset after husband left,daughter made it worse by quizzing mother when she arrived on why she was upset!!!!!!,
Daughter stayed to visit mother who missed her tea and had a fortisip (why did they not take her for tea whilst I was there one might wonder??)
Daughter stayed until 19.45 hours and made mother too tired.(interestingly mum was allowed to stay up to 21.00 the next night when I was not there)
My husband was entertained because apparently when he tried to help feed my mother( at my request) he also chatted to another lady and that stopped my mother eating.
His version of events was that mum was refusing to eat so he tried to distract her by creating a convivial chatting atmosphere with this lady to make her more likely to eat.
The notes are littered with spellings like nite, there for their, cumphy(comfy) etc.
I loved it when they attacked my husband about the feeding episode .He is regarded by many in his industry as a very good fair minded chap and quite frankly given his six figure earnings tolerates my rant about CHC funding and the lack of nursing care. It is of no financial interest to him or my immediate family.
However my former profession means I find the apparent lack of fairness in the system intolerable.
He summarised the care home notes as a classic 'they thought you might criticise them so they got in there first....'.but it is laughable. What happens if there had been a serious issue and I needed to sue. ...I was concerned to read that resident had attacked my mother and we were never told!!!, She was also found in the lift with wet pants around her ankle..more worthy of concern than my staying until 19.45 and tiring her,I believe.
Overall, I console myself that if the worse thing I allegedly did was quizzing my agitated mother on why was she upset and thereby making her more agitated...they were trying very, very hard to paint a negative view of me . In contrast, I could have ignored my crying mother and not asked her what was wrong......I guess they would have then commented that daughter seemed unmoved when mother cried.
The classic beyond the pale implied criticism was I told my mother that a relative had died and upset her!!!!!! I had been told that her brother had died. I was the only one in the family in contact with her family in Italy ... What was I supposed to do....not tell her!!!!?????? How could I not tell her. We were hoping to get her family over before she died. Were we supposed to pretend he was still alive and not mention it???
Our CHC claim is worth less than £25000. Every month I wonder why I bother with it all. I am unlikely to have much dealing with care homes in the near future..do I really care about in my opinion slanted notes.
I am one of five children and my dad is still alive. He refuses to ever go in a home and will insist on home nursing if the need ever arose.
This is not my money. It will be his and he wants any money recovered to go to charity.
However I hate anything I perceive as injustice. I hate systems that I perceive are unfair. I hate any system that in my perception has no legal basis and completely ignores the Human Rights Act and original statute. I hate the fact that we are being funnelled down a bureaucratic system possibly to keep us away from law courts and justice. I hate the way care home notes and medical notes are by nature one sided with no right of contemporaneous comment from carers and patients.
I hate the fact that millions are dying in non nursing homes with in my humble opinion certainly a questionable amounts of palliative care in the community. I hate the fact that my perception is that dying in hospital or at home are still the only real option because there is not enough resource in the community going into non nursing residential,homes.
Finally I hate the fact that my father and people like him have contributed to the system eye watering amounts of tax. Yet when he needed help and support his perception was that the NHS was useless.
In essence because I guess it is obvious I am a trouble maker the notes are slightly unfavourable to me.
For instance,the general gist is that whenever I saw my mother I upset her and she could not eat.Otherwise (despite shocking weight loss) she would have eaten. Here are some examples:
X was upset after husband left,daughter made it worse by quizzing mother when she arrived on why she was upset!!!!!!,
Daughter stayed to visit mother who missed her tea and had a fortisip (why did they not take her for tea whilst I was there one might wonder??)
Daughter stayed until 19.45 hours and made mother too tired.(interestingly mum was allowed to stay up to 21.00 the next night when I was not there)
My husband was entertained because apparently when he tried to help feed my mother( at my request) he also chatted to another lady and that stopped my mother eating.
His version of events was that mum was refusing to eat so he tried to distract her by creating a convivial chatting atmosphere with this lady to make her more likely to eat.
The notes are littered with spellings like nite, there for their, cumphy(comfy) etc.
I loved it when they attacked my husband about the feeding episode .He is regarded by many in his industry as a very good fair minded chap and quite frankly given his six figure earnings tolerates my rant about CHC funding and the lack of nursing care. It is of no financial interest to him or my immediate family.
However my former profession means I find the apparent lack of fairness in the system intolerable.
He summarised the care home notes as a classic 'they thought you might criticise them so they got in there first....'.but it is laughable. What happens if there had been a serious issue and I needed to sue. ...I was concerned to read that resident had attacked my mother and we were never told!!!, She was also found in the lift with wet pants around her ankle..more worthy of concern than my staying until 19.45 and tiring her,I believe.
Overall, I console myself that if the worse thing I allegedly did was quizzing my agitated mother on why was she upset and thereby making her more agitated...they were trying very, very hard to paint a negative view of me . In contrast, I could have ignored my crying mother and not asked her what was wrong......I guess they would have then commented that daughter seemed unmoved when mother cried.
The classic beyond the pale implied criticism was I told my mother that a relative had died and upset her!!!!!! I had been told that her brother had died. I was the only one in the family in contact with her family in Italy ... What was I supposed to do....not tell her!!!!?????? How could I not tell her. We were hoping to get her family over before she died. Were we supposed to pretend he was still alive and not mention it???
Our CHC claim is worth less than £25000. Every month I wonder why I bother with it all. I am unlikely to have much dealing with care homes in the near future..do I really care about in my opinion slanted notes.
I am one of five children and my dad is still alive. He refuses to ever go in a home and will insist on home nursing if the need ever arose.
This is not my money. It will be his and he wants any money recovered to go to charity.
However I hate anything I perceive as injustice. I hate systems that I perceive are unfair. I hate any system that in my perception has no legal basis and completely ignores the Human Rights Act and original statute. I hate the fact that we are being funnelled down a bureaucratic system possibly to keep us away from law courts and justice. I hate the way care home notes and medical notes are by nature one sided with no right of contemporaneous comment from carers and patients.
I hate the fact that millions are dying in non nursing homes with in my humble opinion certainly a questionable amounts of palliative care in the community. I hate the fact that my perception is that dying in hospital or at home are still the only real option because there is not enough resource in the community going into non nursing residential,homes.
Finally I hate the fact that my father and people like him have contributed to the system eye watering amounts of tax. Yet when he needed help and support his perception was that the NHS was useless.
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I do wonder if they would be so cavalier if it were their mother?! 
