cr
- Thread starter carole robson
- Start date
First do is to read up up about it. There are many links on this site which will help you.
Another do is to read some of the posts and replies here, there is so much experience on this site .
The don't is do not assume everything you read about dementia will happen to the person recently diagnosed,.
Also don't be overwhelmed by it, there is a lot of help on here.
Jeannette
Another do is to read some of the posts and replies here, there is so much experience on this site .
The don't is do not assume everything you read about dementia will happen to the person recently diagnosed,.
Also don't be overwhelmed by it, there is a lot of help on here.
Jeannette
thanx for your reply. i have read up, but the questions i want to know i cannot find. What is the best way to deal direct with my mum. eg Should i agree with what she says, even though i know it is false. How much do i do for her. What i shouldnt be doing/saying/acting around her.
Hi Carol - you don't say where you live but I am sure that you will have a reasonably local branch of the Alz Society. Have you thought about contacting them? They can provide information and answer your questions directly and then hopefully that will give you a good starting point. If you go to http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents.php?categoryID=200121 you can locate your nearest group there.
As Jeanette says you can read some of the posts and replies on here but sometimes its difficult to relate what you read to your personal circumstance isn't it?
Hope you get the answers you want but please keep posting and asking...
Take care
Celia
As Jeanette says you can read some of the posts and replies on here but sometimes its difficult to relate what you read to your personal circumstance isn't it?
Hope you get the answers you want but please keep posting and asking...
Take care
Celia
Hi CR. I am certainly no expert at this and get it wrong all the time.
Lots of people have found this link of Sylvia's very helpful. I hope you do too.
http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/show...-Memory-Impaired&highlight=CONTENTED+DEMENTIA
Lots of people have found this link of Sylvia's very helpful. I hope you do too.
http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/show...-Memory-Impaired&highlight=CONTENTED+DEMENTIA
Hi
I've tended to go along with my mum all along even when she was talking codswallop. It's just easier than getting into an argument with her. Nodding and agreeing works for me but may not work for everyone.
Are there any other specific questions you have. There is a wealth of experience in TP but what works for one won't necessarily work for all.
Sharon
I've tended to go along with my mum all along even when she was talking codswallop. It's just easier than getting into an argument with her. Nodding and agreeing works for me but may not work for everyone.
Are there any other specific questions you have. There is a wealth of experience in TP but what works for one won't necessarily work for all.
Sharon
There's a lot of sound advice in the link that Izzy posted. But for me, far too many 'they' generalisations. So for example, 'They are scared all the time.' No, they're not.
So one important piece of advice from me: Everybody is different. There is no 'they'. Question assumptions about 'them', however authoritative they may sound.
So one important piece of advice from me: Everybody is different. There is no 'they'. Question assumptions about 'them', however authoritative they may sound.
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Hi Carole, I'm just down the Coast Rad from you...fancy that. Now, for the benefiteek:) of my experience....
A lot depends on how far down the road your Mum is, in terms of her understanding. In the beginning, with my Mum, it was simply a case of automatically correcting and sometimes arguing. Then it went to always correcting. cue more arguments. Slowly I have learned, thanks be to TP, that for most of the time, I'm wasting my breath correcting and arguing and just to go for non-committal now. eg. "so and so visited me last night"...now I happen to know that they died and we even went to the funeral. Once upon a time I'd have jumped right in and said "NO THEY DIDN'T"..cue row, nowadays it's more likely to be " Oh..I haven't seen them for a long time". Not a lie, just enough to acknowledge what she has said without causing a fight.
Before anyone starts believing me worthy of sainthood I fail, regularly, and boom.... there goes my blood pressure and temper and the peace is shattered once again.
So the answer is really simply that there is never a clear right or wrong.
eek:) of my experience....A lot depends on how far down the road your Mum is, in terms of her understanding. In the beginning, with my Mum, it was simply a case of automatically correcting and sometimes arguing. Then it went to always correcting. cue more arguments. Slowly I have learned, thanks be to TP, that for most of the time, I'm wasting my breath correcting and arguing and just to go for non-committal now. eg. "so and so visited me last night"...now I happen to know that they died and we even went to the funeral.
Once upon a time I'd have jumped right in and said "NO THEY DIDN'T"..cue row, nowadays it's more likely to be " Oh..I haven't seen them for a long time". Not a lie, just enough to acknowledge what she has said without causing a fight.Before anyone starts believing me worthy of sainthood
I fail, regularly, and boom.... there goes my blood pressure and temper and the peace is shattered once again.So the answer is really simply that there is never a clear right or wrong.
Hi Carol - you don't say where you live but I am sure that you will have a reasonably local branch of the Alz Society. Have you thought about contacting them? They can provide information and answer your questions directly and then hopefully that will give you a good starting point. If you go to http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents.php?categoryID=200121 you can locate your nearest group there.
As Jeanette says you can read some of the posts and replies on here but sometimes its difficult to relate what you read to your personal circumstance isn't it?
Hope you get the answers you want but please keep posting and asking...
Take care
Celia
This is perfect. Thanx a million.
