Mum in hospital

[JillH]

Hi I am new here. My Mum has dementia and was diagnosed with it in 2001. She is now in an EMI residential care home. Since she's been in the home she has stayed stable and looked really well, something everyone who knows her has commented on.

Then last month she had a TIA (small stroke) which really upset me as its the first one she's had (I have been told older people can have these regularly), and then last weekend she developed a chest infection which turned into pneumonia and she is now in hospital. Thankfully she is now clear of the pneumonia but is still unsteady on her feet and needs physio for this. But a week before she started with the pneumonia she was asleep for about three hours and the staff couldn't wake her. They got the doctor to her who couldn't find anything amiss but this happened again once she's started with the pneumonia. At the hospital they think it could have been the onset of the pneumonia making her have these mini blackouts but she's had a CT scan and we'll get the results on Monday.

I feel so wound up and on edge about this. I am very very close to my Mum and its hard accepting the fact that she has dementia and I can't share the things with her I used to do, I have always been able to go to her with my problems but now I have to make believe everything is fine to her as she lives in a world where everything is fine.

I suffer from depression anyway, I live alone as I am divorced. I have one brother who is OK but I can't talk to him like I can Mum. Thankfully I have plenty of friends. But now I am struggling with wondering if Mum's dementia has moved onto another stage.

Does anyone else here have relatives with dementia who has these mini blackouts and/or TIAs? I had just about started to cope with the dementia once Mum got on an even keel but now these problems are starting I am just unable to get a grip at all. Mum is 80 by the way.

Grateful for any advice.

 

[alison]

It's all so hard isn't it. My mum was diagnosed 5 years ago. She is currently in hospital after a fall. I don't think she will be allowed to go home and we are meeting with Social Servs Monday. She had a black out about a year back which the doctors thought might be a mini stroke, and has flaked out a few times since and very unsteady on her feet periodically. I am an only child and I too was close to my mum, it is so awful. I still chat away to her now but how much she takes in I don't know. She still has a sense of humour and we have a little laugh. I am just hoping she will be less disorientated once she's is in a care home and more stiumlated than stuck in a chair by a hospital bed all day. she didn't even seem to recognise my daughter yesterday, although she said hello darling, like she always used to. Although I have a husband, he is good runnign us too and fro, but he doens't understand, my friends are better to talk to. All the best anyway.

 

[JillH]

Hi Alison, yes its such a worry isn't it? How old is your Mum?

My Mum is now doing fine, she's had a brain scan which has come back clear so thats a relief. They think it is in the pneumonia that was giving her the blackouts or it could be cardial which they can give her tablets for.

I hope your Mum is going on OK. I was very reluctant to put my Mum into a home at first and was fighting against it. My brother wanted it as he felt it would be too much for me to look after her at home as I was ready to give my job up and everything but in the end I relented and let her go in the home and I must say its not as bad as I feared. Its a lovely place, the staff are so caring and have made a friend of me too. Mum is eating better and looking better since she went in there, apart from this blip with the TIA and now the pneumonia.

Even though Mum eats well in the home she still doesn't have much weight on her. She does recognise us which is a good but she often thinks she has another daughter, also called Jill and often asks me where she is. Every day she asks how her own mother is (my Gran) who died when I was seven years old. This is a common thing with dementia, so is worrying about money but she doesn't do this as much now she's in the home.

Do keep in touch and let me know how your Mum goes on.