Are you reasonably happy with your care home, and why?

[sueorbell]

I'm trying to get an idea for how many of us TPer's are reasonably happy with the care home our loved one is in, and if so why. I see posts about CH that are not doing a good job for a resident, less so about the one's that are. Just trying to get a more balanced picture of standards of care in the UK from a relative's viewpoint. Sue

 

[sueorbell]

EMI Nursing

My Mum is in EMI Nursing, it's not cheap but overall my sister and I are OK with where she is. Why?

Enough of the staff work there long enough so you can build a relationship with them, there is a circular corridor for walks, the building is purpose built in last 5 years, each room has en suite bathroom, they take a resident from EMI residential - to nursing - to end of life, Mum seems to like the food, and finally (while saying from time to time she is bored) Mum's mood seems good when we phone and visit - these are the main reasons.

It's not perfect but as we know nowhere is, its certainly good enough (and should be for the cost!)

 

[Saffie]

Is your mum in the UK or USA?

 

[sueorbell]

Mum is in UK

I'm in USA but Mum is in care in UK.

 

[Witzend]

We're very happy with our mother's CH. (specialist dementia)

Among other things, purpose built and very well designed, 4 connected sections of 9, each with own open-plan sitting room area and kitchen. Plenty of loos with big picture signs! Bright, cheerful decor but homely and comfortable. All rooms with specially designed ensuite, walk -in shower, etc. Good sized enclosed garden, always accessible if weather permitting. Many staff seem to stay a long time, always a good sign, and from what I've seen over 5 years, very good with residents and well trained in understanding dementia. Some staff exceptionally kind and caring. Quite a lot of activities/outings for those who want them - on the whole my mother doesn't and never really did. Today there was a nice photo of her on the wall, fondling one of the visiting 'pat dogs.

Minor bitches: glasses and jewellery going missing, but there is a lot of 'kleptomania' in dementia and I do not accuse the staff.

My fil's CH was totally different, but so were his needs. The CH was not purpose built, it was converted from a large house and had virtually no garden. However, although in mid 80s by then he was still very fit and active and liable to really violent rages if frustrated in any way. He would have gone mad if locked in - this home allowed him out more or less whenever he wanted and much to our intense relief (and surprise) they were able to manage him very well.
The manager's husband was very good - he would e.g. take him for a long walk or along to the cash and carry with him, to help with lugging things around, and this sort of thing made a huge difference, I am sure. This home was fantastic - esp. considering it was not a specialist dementia home. I still think we were extremely lucky to find it.

 

[Bristolbelle]

My Mum is nolonger withbus but.......

2009-2010 I was very happy with the place she used to go for respite breaks. It also offered day care she used to go to day care for two days a week and respite for one week in six. It was a very small unit one floor with ten beds, not all en suite but at that stage she was mobile and pretty independent etc. This home was marvellous, dare I say it was local authority and will be closing very soon(stupid council). It had a games room with snooker table, safety darts, etc, very well resourced craft room, dining room, three lounges and conservatory, a sensory room, and a hairdressing room. The staff were excellent, always taking in things form home, and they even had pet cockatiels, chickens and ducks. Of course the clients were only mild to moderate dementia but it was outstanding in every way. I was always offered a cup of tea at the very least here, and made to feel welcome.
Jan2011-Aug 2011 The second him she was in was also local authority (and is also sadly being closed soon) this was a residential home, The rooms were adequate and all had thier own sinks but not toilets or shower/bath (personally I think en suite is a waste of time anyway s once people progress few can manage and unassisted bath/shower or toiletting). The ground floor was arranged around a square courtyard so residents could wander around the corridors all day and night if they wished. there were several lounges one as themed as a 50s cafe/bar. Loads of rummage boxes, several other lounges a relaxation room, a main dining room with a vaulted ceiling, and a secondary quieter dining room. Again people here were at a moderate to moderately severe stage of dementia and still independent in many ways though most needed help wit personal care, and feeding etc. Again here staff were excellent, long serving and caring, when my Mum had to go to hospital they even had the forethought to pack me some sandwiches when I accompanied her, and on another occasion they sent a carer with her for company. There were regular social activites and outings and staff were very supportive of fundraising and volunteered time off to support activities and outings. Again family were made to feel welcome and given cups of tea etc.
Sep - Dec 2011The final home Mum was in she went to because she needed nursing care and was on "end of life" here she had a single room with en-suite which was no use to her at all as she was bedbound. By now she was on puree food and the food here was dubious, staff seemed too busy to spend time with her and when I asked one person I knew what it was like she told me the clients without relatives did not get such good care as their was no one to speak up for them and they concentrated their efforts on the people who might make a fuss - I was one However Mum was always clean and her room always appeared tidy and well kept. There were occasional problems with laundry and her nighties running out (in the previous home she always ended up with extra clothes somehow), and on occasion I had to question carers methods - laying a client with dysphagia down to feed them so their mouth opens, and I also had to make a fuss about pain cover at times. This home was privately owned by a large care home company, it pays minimum wage and employs many foriegn staff which also created problems with a language barrier. However certain people shone out - the activities co-ordinator who read to Mum every day, and arranged a Priest to visit her, and the staff on duty when she died who were compassionate and kind beyond beleif. I did not spend much time here outside of Mums room her floor had three lounges, two dining rooms and a small craft room. There was always some activity in the afternoon,but little outside of a key two hour slot. I felt this place was more to do with money than lives.
In many ways these comparisons are not fair in that they do not really take in the differing degree of dementia. But I feel they do reflect a general empathy and atmosphere within each home, the thing I found and continue to find having visited other relatives etc in care is that by and large the privately owned homes are poorly staffed, poorly maintained, and seem to attract a poorere quality of carer whereas the local authority and charity run homes seem much better.

I hope this helps

 

[jaymor]

Hi Sue,

My husband has just entered a nursing home and if you have seen my postings of looking and finding a nursing home you will know that we are feeling very lucky indeed that my husband has a bed in such a wonderful nursing home.

It is a purpose built home approx. 4 years old. It is a specialist nursing home for challenging behaviour. My husband receives one to one care as do most of the patients. It has 26 beds over three floors. Ladies only ground floor-9 beds, men only 1st floor- 9 beds (my husband here) and 8 beds on 2nd floor- mixed 8 bed.

There is no set bed time and no set get up time. No meal is missed. There is a sitting room and kitchen diner on each floor and the conservatory and garden for all patients. The nursing staff are older and there are several male nurses in their late 40s to early 50s. One male nurse has his Mother there. The food is plentiful and there is always a large bowl of fruit in the kitchen/dining room and my husband raids it on a daily basis for the grapes. They will also put a small bowl in his room. he gets lots of high calorie snacks because he walks all day and most of the night. His room has a desk and chair, armchair, wardrobe and bedside table. His room is painted pale blue and his armchair is blue with matching curtains and duvet cover. The furniture is light beech. His bathroom is en-suite shower wet room. The door to his room has a brass knocker and letterbox so he has a front door like anyone else. They are also very much into them having plenty to drink. Tea/coffee/squash/milk/hot chocolate and fruit smoothies are available all day, It must give them a lot of work re toileting but they regard fluid intake as important. My husband has twice 'lost' his watch and cd case but as soon as reported they have looked and found them before we have gone home. My husband is always smart and tidy and has had a shave.

After weeks of trawling round 20 odd homes, most of them dreadful I feel really blessed we have found this home just 10 minutes from home. I am totally at peace but will continue to be wide eyed for any problem and be fighting his corner when needed.

We go at all times of the day so have seen what happens during the whole day. Even at sundowning when they all seem to get very negative, don't like what is on tv, don't want a drink, don't want their meal etc. All day it is quiet and calm (unbelievable I know, but it really is) and then 5 to 5.30pm they start to get a bit difficult but they have the staff to cope so not as bad as it was at home.

We are so lucky as a family to have my husband where he is but is nothing more than he deserves. He is a fantastic husband, father, grandfather and great grandfather and so sad this dreadful disease took him from us at the age of 62.

I pray that you all find the right CH for your loved ones. Just keep looking and don't accept what those in charge think is ok. I bet they have never seen inside the homes, to them it is a name on a piece of paper that says it is a care home. Ask them to define CARE.

Jay

 

[kingmidas1962]

Hi everyone,

my dad is in a nursing home where he went for respite, and has ended up permanently resident as by the time we sought respite my mum was totally overwhelmed and has unfortunately ended up in psychiatric care after having a breakdown. The name of this home was given to us by Social Services as it had spare beds, we went and viewed it and decided (a bit on the spur of the moment if I'm honest, as it was an emergency) that it would be fine for him.

But, to answer the question - yes, overall we are happy. I feel we were actually very lucky in our timing even though we felt we had made the decision very quickly. This home (which is less than 5 minutes drive from my parents house) technically speaking is NOT a dementia home. Because dads condition exhibits no behavioural difficulties apart from confusion, mobility problems and incontinence (and he is no harder to manage than some of the patients who are elderly and frail, but without the additional problems of dementia) they agreed they could meet his needs and the placement became permanent. The room that we chose for his respite which had just become available has a private bathroom and a lovely view, although he's not really interested in it.

The staff are very caring, and thorough - they all say he's a lovely man (he is) and on the occasions when he is vocal he says everyone is very nice. They treat him with respect and are very friendly. They know my mum isn't well and have communicated it to all the staff who work on his floor and they all ask how she is when I see them.

That's it really - there are activities but he doesn't want to join in (he's never been at all sociable) and seems mostly content whenever I see him - he likes to sit in his room and watch TV mainly. The only time I've seen him unsettled was when he had an UTI which was diagnosed and treated with antibiotics - that made him a bit fidgety and they kept an extra eye on him. He eats well which is a good sign that he is contented.

Its not brand new, or particularly flashy, but from what I've gathered a lot of the staff who work there have been there for a long time which to me speaks volumes about the place.

That was a bit of a long post, sorry!

 

[ggma]

As a family we are happy with the home where my Mum has lived for nearly 4 years now.
It is not purpose built, but it has been a care home for a long time, and been adapted and Mum has lovely big light room with en-suite.

To me the most important elements are friendly caring and on the ball Registered Manager, staff who have not changed in 4 years and who know Mum well and are lovely with her. The home do their best to keep people for the remainder of their lives, (I know for instance at present one resident who is very poorly is on hourly turning in bed for skin care day and night - not sent away because she needs more staff input)

In addition the home always smells nice and is clean, windows opened to bring in fresh air etc, Mum enjoys the meals, and they are all home cooked, there is a garden adapted for wheelchairs etc.

Finally above all else Mum is happy and content, which she was not in some of the previous stages of her dementia when she would fight us and the dementia and was resistant to any help.

 

[jaymor]

How great is this? So many carers who have found good care homes. This will give hope to everyone who are either looking or think they might be in the near future.

Jay

 

[sueorbell]

Thank you for replies so far.....

Don't know about anyone else but I'm finding reading reports of the better care homes is cheering me up thank you to all who have shared. Sue

 

[Daisy48]

Happy with Dad's care home

Hi Everyone
Dad has been in his nursing home for 8 weeks and my sister and I are really happy with all aspects of Dad's care.
I think that for us the most important thing is the lovely staff.Every time we have visited(not always the same days or time)every staff member speaks,smiles or comes over for a chat.They treat Dad in the same way as us.
When Dad collapsed with a seizure at the dentist,they welcomed us back from hospital with cups of tea and soon had Dad tucked up in bed all warm and cosy.
Since the collapse Dad has had to re settle and has been having one to one care due to some strange behavior.
It's so good to know that he's in good hands.

 

[amicalia]

Hi
Lovely to read these posts.
My mum has just gone into a care home 2 weeks ago and so far I feel very positive about it.
The carers are very approachable, you feel very welcome and can visit any time. There are lots of activities on, events that relatives and others can attend and some trips out to local places. The staff seem friendly and so far have seen them showing warmth, imagination and humour, both of which seem really important.
The rooms seem quite like hotel rooms, with ensuite wet rooms, think they have 30-something residents on 3 floors, with a bit of fluctuation due to some respite places.
Basically mum seems happy, which is the most important thing to me. And it feels very safe and comfortable, food that I've seen looks really good.
I am hoping mum continues to like it there as it's great to see her quite enjoying a bit of company.

 

[KingB]

Mum's CH is fantastic. Purpose-built, it has 3 floors, residential, low-needs dementia and higher-needs dementia. The staff rotate around the floors doing several weeks on each.
The staff are all lovely and the manageress is a powerhouse of practicality and positivity, and she picks her staff for kindness above everything else. The staff are amazing and clearly genuinely care for the residents. The emphasis is on helping the residents to do what they are able to, but with plenty of support when required. Everyone is treated as an individual with respect and warmth.
Mum has a lovely room with an en-suite, with big full-length windows looking out onto the garden. The local doctor is very involved with the community at the CH and is often there doing a round of visits. The staff are all very aware of what is going on healthwise with mum & are happy to keep me updated with medication etc.
The food is good quality. Mum sometimes makes a bit of a face about it - but they don't force it on her & she tends to get on and absent-mindedly finish it up anyway.
The staff make sure that everyone is well-hydrated on hot days - with plenty of glasses of squash, and jelly for pudding.
The place has a lovely atmosphere and I have no qualms about her being there. The residents are generally very caring and supportive of each other.
All in all a great place and we were VERY lucky to find it!

 

[chrissi]

My dads care home.

My dad has needed residential support since January of this year. (9+ months) We were all terrified at how things would go. My dad was in a pretty bad place in his mind, had been to scared to leave his bedroom for months and was hardly eating. He is in a specialist dementia home (care home name removed as per T & Cs)

I can honestly say, hand on heart, that this care home is absolutely wonderful. My dad feels safe and comfortable and has good relationships with all staff. He has put on weight and involves himself with life more than he has done for years.

It has been such a relief. Prior to his moving there we had supported him 24/7 at home. We were exhausted, our families were neglected and dad didn't respond well to his children trying to coax him to do things. Things are so much better for us all.

 

[MR JUSTICE]

I am now very concerned about my mothers care home

I have very recently discovered that my Mother (dementia) has been physically assaulted numerous times by other residents, and that she has also physically assaulted other residents.

The care home never mentioned this to me. I spoke with adult social services and they have told me that they were never made aware of it and they spoke to the care home, before i wanted them to because i wanted to speak to SS first, anyway care home say only a couple of isolated incidents which were not reported to the CQC either.

My concern is if the care home does not follow procedures i.e reporty physical assaults on and by residents to the relatives, the social services and the care home commission. What else are they keeping from anyone.

Obviously i am concerned that my Mother is being hit and hitting people, after all it could be any of your Mothers, but nobody had ever been told.

Anyone had this?...and any suggestions.

Thanks

 

[SailingWanderer]

Hurting

Hello
My Dad has been in a CH for 18 months and has for the first time this week hit another resident on two occasions in the same day. I am so shocked by this and fear he will become violent due to the frustration of having ahlzeimer's or is it due to being with others all day who have dementia ? He was the most gentle man who never would have hit anyone
The home informed me and the relatives of the person he hit and then had Dad seen by the doctor to check he has no infections causing his change in behavoir. The Doctor has referred Dad to the mental health team as he thinks this is another level in his dementia
The home completed an incident form and full report and have contacted safeguarding to ask for advice
I would suggest they have followed a set procedure that your CH should have followed too I think you should repot the matter perhaps to your mum's GP for a start

 

[Scraggedbloke]

I looked after Annie for four years at home. In April 2011 she was barely eating, in a wheel chair and our GP prepared me for end of life.
In Sept 2011, Annie started eating again and became more and more active.
By Oct 2011, Annie was very agitated, very mobile and very noisy.
In Nov 2011, I said to her CPN she can't keep this up, but she did.
Annie became so agitated and noisy that she went to an Assessment Centre, where in Jan 2012 they decided she needed Nursing Care.
Annie went into a mixed dementia Nursing Home and although I visisted daily and assisted, they were unable to meet her needs.
She was noisy and wandered in and out of other residents rooms, there were complaints and we got Notice to leave.
Annie is now in a very good Nursing Home that meets all their residents needs.
The building is well designed to cater for her wandering, and the layout allows good monitoring. She is eating well, and careful selection and monitoring of medication has resulted in her being much calmer.
This Nursing Home does a lot better of job of caring for and meeting Annie's needs than I was doing at home.
I visit about every other day sometimes more, and assist with meals when I'm there. It is a secure safe unit, and we have access to the gardens to help satisify her endless walking, but it is a good 30 mins drive each way.

ScraggED Bloke

 

[stillcaring]

My aunty was in a very good care home, part of a large and expensive 'chain' of such homes, 3 floors of more general care home, top floor specialist dementia unit. The top-floorers were encouraged to go downstairs and join in with the activities going on down there - my aunt was able to go down and play whist which she was able to do very well despite the AD, though after a while it became impossible to motivate her to do so. The staff were lovely. I was able to visit all times of day or night so met the night staff when she was poorly. My aunt wasn't happy, but they dealt with that very well. My only slight gripe would be the cost which seemed to creep up more than I thought it should as she needed higher levels of care.

 

[junerain]

Care homes

We cared for my Mum at home for years. She has alzheimers (moderate to severe) and later developed parkinsons. It was becoming impossible (and exhausting) to keep her safe and as far as my Mum was concerned, this wasn't her home - every evening she would start gathering her things and say she had to leave as her parents would be worried about her. In hindsight, I think we kept her at home as much for our sake as for hers. She fell one evening, trying to get out as she thought she was being kept in this "house" against her will. She had a broken hip and we could not get anyone willing to give her the physio and rehab she would need to get her back on her feet to any extent. At that point they said she needed at least two people with her at all times. We took the first care home offer we got as she was deteriorating drastically in hospital. It was horrible for the first few weeks but she has settled in so well. She can't communicate except in that strange garbled language that seems typical at this stage but she is so happy to have company, most of them do have dementia and will respond in kind and that's fine. One or two of the residents have been aggressive but this is very carefully monitored so they don't harm anyone. When I take her out at weekends, she's always very happy returning - I'm not sure where she thinks she is but is content and feels safe. While her offspring feel wretched at not being able to keep her at home, in our hearts we know this was the very best thing for her. We were very lucky - it's a lovely place and we now know most of the other residents. They have lots of activities and encourage you to bring in things from her home (within limits obviously - space is limited) that will help her settle.
I don't know what to say except to try to see it through the eyes of their relative - care homes can be very undemanding and very accepting and this is often the most important thing to someone who can no longer figure out the world they formerly knew.