Well i better start with introducing myself i guess, im aka Sarah and im 36.Im married to my best friend and rock. Im not very good at this kind of thing but i'll give it a go and try not to write a short novel in the process.
Im here looking for advice/support/hugs and hope i can return at the same time.
My situation began almost a year ago when my 64 year old dad started to do 'strange things' and as he lived alone ( mom left us 14 years ago) my hubby and i were the only ones who had any contact with him even before he got ill, my brother and dad always had a very difficult relationship and hadn't spoke in quite a few years ... sooo i started noticing little things about dad that weren't quite right a year ago but it all became very clear things with his memory were definatley going wrong when he called me up on Christmas eve shouting at me for been late for Christmas day dinner.Things then on after went down hill very fast for dad and i insisted we got help from his GP. Fast forward 3 months and MANY dr appoitments later dad was sectioned 3 days before my birthday in March.
There was so many incidents in such a short space of time that happend to dad i wont list them all but the major ones are still in my head like stuck record ... police helicopters,battles with A+E staff and physical fights resulted in dad been sectioned for his own saftey ... and mine.
He was originally 'held' (is that the right word sorry ???) at a hospital that i wouldn't have put a animal in but soon got moved to a much nicer appropriate hospital only 10 miles away from us where after a initial A+E admission for renal failure,he settled well and became part of the furniture so to speak.I visited him every other day and the days i didn't see him i'd talk to him on the phone. While there he was diagnosed with Vascular Dementia due to having mini strokes ( i shouted so much to the dr's i was worried about this when he was still at home but fell on deaf ears) He stayed there for 5 months or so until ' The Board' decided it was'nt the best place for him and said there was a home suited for his needs and was only 4 miles away from us ... great ... now things in my life always go wrong (thats another story for another time) and the inevitable bad thing happened and it all fell thru,the board said it wasn't suitable for dads needs and the only one that was ok for him was 120+miles round trip away from us
!!! Nothing we can do about it (except cry) and he was moved there 10 days ago.
My hubby and i found a camp site near to the hospital and set up camp in our camper van for his first weekend there so we could at least see him the 2 days of the weekend. My brother came and met us there and we all found his bedroom to be nice and the settings the hospital's set in pretty ... but i have my concerns, both the days the staff who were helping us with the visit had only been there 2 days and neither were sure who my dad even was. I tried to put it to the back of mind and not worry as having been a profesional carer myself i know the turmoils of working in care homes and hospitals so thought it was my anxiety been over active,but then during my daily phone calls to the ward to see how dad has been im been told the same vague thing '' ahhh yes hes been fine '' now i know full well this can't be the case as at his previous hospital ward the staff always had concerns everyday with his challenging behaviour and difficulty in dealing with it so to be told he's fine i know isn't true. Iv'e been asking all week for the ward sister to call me when she can so i can voice my concerns and ask some general questions about dads care plans etc and it's only today that she's called me to tell me dad's got another urine infection and is been treated there for it, so im obviously upset anyway and blurt out how pee'd off i am that i haven't had any contact with dad apart from the 2 half hour visits at the weekend made a fool of myself blubbing and stuttering to her about how much im missing him and how scared he must be thinking iv'e abadonned him in a place he has no idea of, she said she will ask someone to help him to call me this evening ... we shall wait and see eh !!!
I should prob mention that i suffer from a few mental health problems inc depression and at times,sever anxiety i take my meds and see a therapist and like i said in my intro i am married to the best hubby in the world EVER and with out him i would have given up a long long long time ago.
Well i think i have gone on enough for now and i thank anyone who has taken the time to read just a bit of my story of why im here.
Im here looking for advice/support/hugs and hope i can return at the same time.
My situation began almost a year ago when my 64 year old dad started to do 'strange things' and as he lived alone ( mom left us 14 years ago) my hubby and i were the only ones who had any contact with him even before he got ill, my brother and dad always had a very difficult relationship and hadn't spoke in quite a few years ... sooo i started noticing little things about dad that weren't quite right a year ago but it all became very clear things with his memory were definatley going wrong when he called me up on Christmas eve shouting at me for been late for Christmas day dinner.Things then on after went down hill very fast for dad and i insisted we got help from his GP. Fast forward 3 months and MANY dr appoitments later dad was sectioned 3 days before my birthday in March.
There was so many incidents in such a short space of time that happend to dad i wont list them all but the major ones are still in my head like stuck record ... police helicopters,battles with A+E staff and physical fights resulted in dad been sectioned for his own saftey ... and mine.
He was originally 'held' (is that the right word sorry ???) at a hospital that i wouldn't have put a animal in but soon got moved to a much nicer appropriate hospital only 10 miles away from us where after a initial A+E admission for renal failure,he settled well and became part of the furniture so to speak.I visited him every other day and the days i didn't see him i'd talk to him on the phone. While there he was diagnosed with Vascular Dementia due to having mini strokes ( i shouted so much to the dr's i was worried about this when he was still at home but fell on deaf ears) He stayed there for 5 months or so until ' The Board' decided it was'nt the best place for him and said there was a home suited for his needs and was only 4 miles away from us ... great ... now things in my life always go wrong (thats another story for another time) and the inevitable bad thing happened and it all fell thru,the board said it wasn't suitable for dads needs and the only one that was ok for him was 120+miles round trip away from us
!!! Nothing we can do about it (except cry) and he was moved there 10 days ago. My hubby and i found a camp site near to the hospital and set up camp in our camper van for his first weekend there so we could at least see him the 2 days of the weekend. My brother came and met us there and we all found his bedroom to be nice and the settings the hospital's set in pretty ... but i have my concerns, both the days the staff who were helping us with the visit had only been there 2 days and neither were sure who my dad even was. I tried to put it to the back of mind and not worry as having been a profesional carer myself i know the turmoils of working in care homes and hospitals so thought it was my anxiety been over active,but then during my daily phone calls to the ward to see how dad has been im been told the same vague thing '' ahhh yes hes been fine '' now i know full well this can't be the case as at his previous hospital ward the staff always had concerns everyday with his challenging behaviour and difficulty in dealing with it so to be told he's fine i know isn't true. Iv'e been asking all week for the ward sister to call me when she can so i can voice my concerns and ask some general questions about dads care plans etc and it's only today that she's called me to tell me dad's got another urine infection and is been treated there for it, so im obviously upset anyway and blurt out how pee'd off i am that i haven't had any contact with dad apart from the 2 half hour visits at the weekend made a fool of myself blubbing and stuttering to her about how much im missing him and how scared he must be thinking iv'e abadonned him in a place he has no idea of, she said she will ask someone to help him to call me this evening ... we shall wait and see eh !!!
I should prob mention that i suffer from a few mental health problems inc depression and at times,sever anxiety i take my meds and see a therapist and like i said in my intro i am married to the best hubby in the world EVER and with out him i would have given up a long long long time ago.
Well i think i have gone on enough for now and i thank anyone who has taken the time to read just a bit of my story of why im here.
