We have just passed the first anniversary of my FIL's death. Its really strange, I think this is the first time I have used that word.
I think OH and I have been a bit on edge all week really, we each seemed to remember the days of the week and how we had spent them mostly with FIL. We almost seemed to relive some of the feelings. How he seemed to fade and rally and fade again. We didn't want him to suffer any more, and yet he seemed, even at the end, to want to live.
Yesterday came and went went relative ease. Almost relief. Is that how others feel? Sometimes I feel alone with my own thoughts and TP taught me that often others do feel the same, that I am not so different to everyone else.
Today the sun is shining, its a day that FIL would have loved and would have sat in the garden. OH is already out there, and we are off to the garden centre later. Its a time for remembrance but not great sadness. One year on, we have survived as a family. That is what my FIL would have wanted.
x
I think OH and I have been a bit on edge all week really, we each seemed to remember the days of the week and how we had spent them mostly with FIL. We almost seemed to relive some of the feelings. How he seemed to fade and rally and fade again. We didn't want him to suffer any more, and yet he seemed, even at the end, to want to live.
Yesterday came and went went relative ease. Almost relief. Is that how others feel? Sometimes I feel alone with my own thoughts and TP taught me that often others do feel the same, that I am not so different to everyone else.
Today the sun is shining, its a day that FIL would have loved and would have sat in the garden. OH is already out there, and we are off to the garden centre later. Its a time for remembrance but not great sadness. One year on, we have survived as a family. That is what my FIL would have wanted.
x