Hey all. Just want a bit of a rant. My dad's now in a NH with end-stage dementia and they have told me he is at end of life (whatever that actually means - all I know is that I've done three vigils at his bedside in a month because they thought he was actively dying and actually, at those times, so did I), and is receiving appropriate and gentle palliative care. He's been there nearly three weeks and the staff are wonderful - in fact, I've never had any bad care for him in any of the places he's been (as some people may remember he's had nine moves between homes and hospital in six months!).
My main issue can be encapsulated in one phrase - the social worker seems absolutely useless! I was meant to meet her in the first week of dad's admission to the NH, actually made an appointment for her to assess him, but she didn't turn up! Not only that, but she apparently hasn't given the NH any paperwork on the funding (he has nursing care funding - but who knows without the paperwork???!!!) so that's a difficult position for us all to be in. She told me over the phone that the funding was being paid by the LA to the NH but not the implications of what that means for me re payment. The NH have phoned her, faxed her, left her messages to get paperwork sorted out and to meet me to discuss this properly, but there's been no further contact.
Added to this - I was initially told he had CHC funding so of course, I didn't think I needed to worry overmuch about Court of Protection (would be able to be a little more relaxed about it rather than considering it to be urgent, since I already have third party mandate on his bank account and can take care of his bills) and it then turned out he didn't have the funding because the paperwork wasn't done properly!!! Now - if he's end of life, I don't want to have to go through all the stress and expense of CoP because God knows it's all stressful enough - but I need the social worker to do that assessment because by now, as he's gone downhill so suddenly, he might be eligible to for CHC funding after all.
I'm also in complaints mode against the Primary Health Trust because he broke his hip in one of their facilities due, I believe, to neglect due to poor staffing, which might make a difference if they pay for some of his care. I'm infuriated that in this country, our elderly have to pay through the nose for a service they desperately need. It's not like it's residential care that they choose to go into - this kind of car is a necessity and it's not fair. Off topic a bit there, and I'm not really money focussed per se, it's the principle, and this is a rant!
I'm (as you may remember) an only child, don't have an OH to help, work full time in a very busy, stressful job and quite frankly don't have the time to spend chasing after her or anyone else - but on the other hand, I'm worried sick about all this. My head just won't take any of it in - it's all too huge. I don't have the SW's number because she's never given me it and frankly, I'm tempted to say - screw it all - I've been messed about enough (which I have - long, long story), and she can just do her job and contact me!
There, rant over. It doesn't improve the situation, but at least I've got it off my chest. And at least dad is getting great care in his last days, weeks, months...
My main issue can be encapsulated in one phrase - the social worker seems absolutely useless! I was meant to meet her in the first week of dad's admission to the NH, actually made an appointment for her to assess him, but she didn't turn up! Not only that, but she apparently hasn't given the NH any paperwork on the funding (he has nursing care funding - but who knows without the paperwork???!!!) so that's a difficult position for us all to be in. She told me over the phone that the funding was being paid by the LA to the NH but not the implications of what that means for me re payment. The NH have phoned her, faxed her, left her messages to get paperwork sorted out and to meet me to discuss this properly, but there's been no further contact.
Added to this - I was initially told he had CHC funding so of course, I didn't think I needed to worry overmuch about Court of Protection (would be able to be a little more relaxed about it rather than considering it to be urgent, since I already have third party mandate on his bank account and can take care of his bills) and it then turned out he didn't have the funding because the paperwork wasn't done properly!!! Now - if he's end of life, I don't want to have to go through all the stress and expense of CoP because God knows it's all stressful enough - but I need the social worker to do that assessment because by now, as he's gone downhill so suddenly, he might be eligible to for CHC funding after all.
I'm also in complaints mode against the Primary Health Trust because he broke his hip in one of their facilities due, I believe, to neglect due to poor staffing, which might make a difference if they pay for some of his care. I'm infuriated that in this country, our elderly have to pay through the nose for a service they desperately need. It's not like it's residential care that they choose to go into - this kind of car is a necessity and it's not fair. Off topic a bit there, and I'm not really money focussed per se, it's the principle, and this is a rant!
I'm (as you may remember) an only child, don't have an OH to help, work full time in a very busy, stressful job and quite frankly don't have the time to spend chasing after her or anyone else - but on the other hand, I'm worried sick about all this. My head just won't take any of it in - it's all too huge. I don't have the SW's number because she's never given me it and frankly, I'm tempted to say - screw it all - I've been messed about enough (which I have - long, long story), and she can just do her job and contact me!
There, rant over. It doesn't improve the situation, but at least I've got it off my chest. And at least dad is getting great care in his last days, weeks, months...
