Feel like ive been hit by a bus

[Skye]

but they is always someone worse of then you . Oh how they hate me saying that to them ,

I don't blame them. I might be aroused to violence myself.

Please, can we forget about Mothering Sunday for another year. Yes, we're all entitled to our views, but I don't think any of us have the right to say things that we know will upset.

 

[Margarita]

I do apologies , just that I want you to understand where I was coming from when I said that , as yesterday I was wallowing in my own misery , but when I read your post I realize how lucky I was to have my children alive and caring about mother day for me , so I put aside my own grief for a while and it really did help me lift my mood .

I am reading a book called Doreen Lawrence and still I rise seeking justice for Stephen , at the back of the book she says referring to her son death “ you don’t have to be a mother to understand what that means , but perhaps only the parents of children can truly imagine what the loss is like.

That to me hit a core in me , and your words

Please can I say that mother's day is also hard for those of us who have lost sons and daughters. That missing card is the one we never forget. Please, think of us too

I really did think of you that really touch a core in my soul

and may me look out side of my mind in my own grife own pain , to enjoy my life with my children while they I still have each other .

 

[Canadian Joanne]

I love this group

With all the opinions, jokes, snarls, hurts and honesty, this is a wonderful group. I feel a boundless love. I have a mind's eye picture of some people.

Karen, you will always be a gorgeous fire-breathing dragon (this is a compliment, trust me!) on the outside and a little, soft, cuddly, timid, easily-hurt bunny on the inside.

Nell, Libby, Cate and Hazel are peacemakers. Margarita is always trying to agree with everyone at once! Michael E. has a lovely sharp edge to him. Norm is a icon of marital devotion. And Brucie is our Gandalf. (Apologies to those who don't get the reference).

I haven't the time to go on (I am at work, after all ) but we are an unusual extended family and as such will have our spats, disagreements & sometimes long drawn-out battles. When the dust settles, we must remember to respect each other's opinions and philosophies.

"I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it". Voltaire.

Joanne

 

[Libby]

Well summed up Joanne

I like it.

Libs

 

[Brucie]

Splendid post - thanks, Joanne.

er.... not sure I can live up to the role....

 

[Margarita]

lovely photo lol , but who is Gandalf

 

[Brucie]

try http://web.mit.edu/kayla/Public/Backgrounds/LOTR Gandalf 1.JPG my precious..


... oops, wrong character

 

[Margarita]

oic ROTFL


Ok am of the floor now Oh dear shall I really say it , I don’t agree lol

 

[connie]

Will only say; You, on TP, make evrything seem a little less stressed.

I only have to go online to see those of you aching as much as me, needing as much help as me, wanting to find understanding as much as me.............and so the list goes on.

Thank you all,

 

[Sarah-Anne]

time....

Mark,
I am new on here....never thought i would EVER need to be.
I am bitter,angry,guilty,sad, then i look at what i have just written and it's all about ME....
I know it's no consolation but others are hurting too....x

 

[Amy]

That is the good thing about TP - some days it can be 'all about me' - because we understand that some days that is just how it has to be.
Love Helen

 

[Michael E]

I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it". Voltaire.

Yea? Look what happened to Voltaire - he died....

For what its worth Mark, I shed a few tears now and then - and I am quite tough.. And for what its worth, I have always found it helpful to know that others on this forum are worse off than me... Lots are...

Mind you I find the image of the 'jumpers' out of the twin towers pretty horrendous too...

There really is nothing positive to say about this illness... We all suffer loss and bereavement during our lives... it happens .. just like taxes, but this AD thing is drawn out and the person we love becomes something else - someone else who does not know us and is lost in a living nightmare.... and is a sad pathetic figure with with nothing to offer.

 

[Amy]

Hiya Michael

and is a sad pathetic figure with with nothing to offer.

your post feels full of pain. Somewhere inside that sad pathetic figure, is still the person that you have loved - and some days, you can still catch a glimpse. But it hurts, but life is a bitch at times - we just have to hang on to the good bits.
Love Helen

 

[Skye]

I am bitter,angry,guilty,sad, then i look at what i have just written and it's all about ME....

Sarah-Anne, don't worry about 'all about me'. You're having a bad time, and we're here to support you. One day when you're feeling better (and you will feel better), you'll read a post from someone in distress, and want to support them. That's what TP is about.

In the meantime, we're here.

Love

 

[Lucille]

but this AD thing is drawn out and the person we love becomes something else - someone else who does not know us and is lost in a living nightmare....

Michael, I couldn't agree more! I've had the most grim time ever this last couple of days. Mum accused me of driving her to suicide because of my interfering. Yesterday, in floods of tears, I called her CPN and asked for help. I always thought I would try and 'cope' as best I could ... there are people on here who do so every day - you for instance! My part-time caring role seems trivial in comparison. But when the person you are trying to help turns on you in fits of rage, strikes you and then the next day can't remember - then I wave the white flag. How I'll manage when we're further along the path that's no so much strewn with rocks, but bl**dy great boulders, hell knows.

 

[Margarita]

I called her CPN

I always find the CPN a great help His reassured me long time a go by saying something that I did not want to express to him ,how I felt that was happening to my mother , so was really Surprise when he told me first . I do not want repeat on hear in case I cause offence & I am told that I am full of pain and hurting , but for me as a carer it help me see things more clearer , so help me in my role of helping my mother.

I only got a CPN , because of my brother I find them a real help , so keep going truning to them , when your put under a lot of stress from your mother anger , that yes is not her fought

 

[Amy]

Hiya Lucille,
Firstly don't under estimate the difficulty of part time caring - no doubt you are trying to juggle other roles as well, and feel the guilt of not being able to devote more time to your mother.
Secondly - don't assume that the future will be more difficult than the present. My dear mum is in advanced stages - it hurts loads, but she is in a nh, and the physical demands are less.
Love Helen

 

[Lucille]

Hello Helen

Yes, I see what you mean about the future. At the moment it's the other things that I need to do (like live my own life) added to the miles I'm driving, and then her reaction to anything I try to do to help when I get there. If I wasn't so knackered all the time, I'd just turn round and drive home! She's fighting to keep her independence as she knows things are slipping, but in doing so, she's fighting the one person who also wants her to be able to keep her sense of self and her own home. At least yesterday when we spoke it didn't degenerate into her screaming at me!

Always feel better when having had doubts or concerns, I post on here. Someone always has something reassuring to add. Thank you so much!

 

[Margarita]

Amy

Wondering if you have any advice in how you personnel handle the hurt in a positive way, I seem to be eating a lot lately just with the worry of it ,

don't assume that the future will be more difficult than the present.

and the physical demands are less

that just it, thinking seeing her like that is worrying me , in how I am going to Cope with all the emotional pain when she gets to that stage like your mother I try really try to live in the now, but things can just trigger those thoughts of. So am wondering how you take your mind of it or do I just feel it cry and get on with it pick myself up , just want to get a different perspective of it from someone who is living it now with a mother or father.

I can not cope now seeing my mother like this , let alone later on in the stages , I seem to be loseing all my postive skills is this normal . I am haveing a respite tomorrow for 2 weeks that I hope may make me feel stronger

 

[alfjess]

Hi Magarita

I hope you enjoy your respite and it enables you to have a well deserved break.

The last time your Mum was in a respite home, you were moving house. Moving house and getting settled in, can be very stressful.

Take time for yourself this respite. That is what respite is about and maybe you will then be able to cope with your Mum, having had a break.

From reading your postings, I admire your attitude towards your Mum. I wish I had half your compassion. I sometimes find myself at the end of my patience.

Enjoy your respite

Alfjess