Are we going tomorrow ?

[sadjanet]

Hello,
My name is Janet and I am 54 yrs old. My husband George has early onset alzheimer's and is 57 years old.
One of the biggest problems I have is his lack of awareness of time. He knows that we will be visiting someone, or someone visiting us in the future, but he always thinks it is tomorrow or very soon. Has anyone got any tips on how to deal with this ? Thanks.
Janet

 

[Katrine]

Hello Janet, welcome to TP. How does he respond to "Yes it will be soon" or "Yes it will be tomorrow"? Does he have to understand the actual timespan? Perhaps he just needs reassurance that he has remembered something is happening and you can confirm that he is right. Then tomorrow when he asks again you can give the same answer. Does he want to prepare in some way by getting clothes ready or setting the alarm clock, or is it just a general question? If the latter, then I think reassurance is all that is necessary.

I do appreciate that this is so hard with someone young, it is a bit easier to do this kind of reassurance with an elderly person but for you it must come as a constant shock to have your husband asking you things that seem so inappropriate when 'normally' he would be on top of understanding time frames. No easy answers I'm afraid, but the only advice I can give is that you have to answer the underlying anxiety rather than 'the facts'.

Katrine x

 

[hollycat]

Hi Janet

We have learned with my mum that the more appointments etc she has to deal with the more she worries.

Eg mon hair, tues put black bin out, wed hairdresser, thurs dentists, fri bingo etc

She can only deal with one problem at a time, so we now tell her about each appointment as near to the appointment time as possible.

We have removed all calenders.

Really sorry if it sounds like we are TAKING OVER; if truth be known, WE ARE.

If mum ever questions, its my hair today isn't it, we do a subtle change of subject every time.

Hope this offers some insight into our circumstances. Am sure others will come along and offer further examples.

 

[jaymor]

Divertion no longer works for my husband so like Katrin I find it best to say 'oh that's tomorrow or after lunch. By then he will have forgotten and will probably be mithering about something quite different. He constantly looks at the clock and his watch and will tell me the time, which of course is nothing like the real time and I no longer correct him, just agree and thank him for telling me. It works for me.

Jay xx

 

[jeany123]

Hi Janet , My husband is the same I usually try to avoid letting him know too far in advance if anything is happening but if he does ask I answer oh that's ages away then change the subject ,it does get me down after the 20th time in a hour but it's no good losing patience because he just gets upset and it makes him worse he is 64 and was diagnosed with vascular dementia 3 years ago but has had it a lot longer than that ,I'm sorry I can't be of more use but I sympathise with you .



Jeany x

 

[amicalia]

Hi
My mum gets anxious about things ahead of time and declares she is doing whatever it is tomorrow or this afternoon. For me it's better if she doesn't know in advance as she adjusts better to 'we'll do this in an hour' than if she constantly is getting her coat on and going to the door. She will also tell people they are late, regardless of whether she even knew they were coming.

 

[chanelno5]

help with time and date etc

Mum asked several times a day for about a month if an event she is interested in was the next day - I think she was is worried about missing it. We have a family organiser calendar from WH Smith which has 1 week visible at a time. I have just ordered a perpetual desk calendar - secondhand - with the day and month on it as she doesn't know what day it is most of the time (they have no incentive to remember this as they no longer work). She can still tell the time but it has to be a clock with all the numbers on it not Roman numerals etc.