Hi
Sorry if this is a long post but I’ve just had the weekend from hell and after finding this site and reading through lots of posts, I felt the need to post myself!
My Grandparents, both in their 80’s, live 3 hours away, surrounded by other elderly relatives only. My Dad lives in Australia. They have an average sized house full of clutter with a large garden. My Nan has osteoporosis and struggles to move around. We also think she had a stroke a few years ago and her hearing isn’t brilliant. She never complains though and shuffles around looking after anyone who needs it. My Grandad is in the early stages of dementia. He has had that m*** test that you all talk about but I don’t know how he did other than that he’s been referred for a scan. This had been put back so he still hasn’t had it. Nan has been told that there may be some tablets he can take to slow the dementia.
My Nan says that it seems as though his brain 'stops’. One day, he will say he can’t remember the difference between rugby union and rugby league and the next day he tells me in great detail. Asks regularly what day it is and other similar questions. He has always been happy to just sit whenever he had the opportunity whereas my Nan likes to keep busy. Now, he won’t do anything else other than sit. He relies on my Nan for everything. He suffers from insulin dependent diabetes and my Nan has had to call 999 several times as she had found him on the floor, unconscious. She now has to make him eat.
A few weeks ago, Nan had gone shopping and Grandad was visited by a gang of men who said they needed roofing work done. When Nan got home she discovered he had given them nearly £8,000 they had saved. They came back on Monday to ‘do the work’ but next door called the police. Of course no one could do anything as they hadn’t broken in and taken anything. They had just come back to try and get some more money.
Nan is obviously distraught. She told me ‘How can I tell him off when he doesn’t even know that he’s done anything wrong?’ At least she now realises that there is no way she can keep money at home any more. She now locks him in the house when she goes out but I’m worried because of fire, etc.
I told her last time I visited that she should get her name on the account that all the bills were paid from, which fortunately, she did. Unfortunately, she doesn’t understand bank accounts as Grandad always dealt with everything so didn’t realise they were overdrawn. I now have power of attorney over that account so that I can keep an eye on things but that was a pain to sort out – I was lucky to be able to get time off work on Monday to go and sort it out before I came home. I see I need to sort out becoming enduring power of attorney, probably for both of them.
I’m feeling very frustrated and overwhelmed at the moment. I have downloaded as many of the factsheets as I could that seemed relevant and will read through when I have time. This site has been so useful though and I will try and condense some info into a format that will be useful for my Nan and easy to understand.
Sorry I’ve gone on and if it some of it seems OT but I can’t seem to talk about it all but it’s ok to type. Make sense?
Sorry if this is a long post but I’ve just had the weekend from hell and after finding this site and reading through lots of posts, I felt the need to post myself!
My Grandparents, both in their 80’s, live 3 hours away, surrounded by other elderly relatives only. My Dad lives in Australia. They have an average sized house full of clutter with a large garden. My Nan has osteoporosis and struggles to move around. We also think she had a stroke a few years ago and her hearing isn’t brilliant. She never complains though and shuffles around looking after anyone who needs it. My Grandad is in the early stages of dementia. He has had that m*** test that you all talk about but I don’t know how he did other than that he’s been referred for a scan. This had been put back so he still hasn’t had it. Nan has been told that there may be some tablets he can take to slow the dementia.
My Nan says that it seems as though his brain 'stops’. One day, he will say he can’t remember the difference between rugby union and rugby league and the next day he tells me in great detail. Asks regularly what day it is and other similar questions. He has always been happy to just sit whenever he had the opportunity whereas my Nan likes to keep busy. Now, he won’t do anything else other than sit. He relies on my Nan for everything. He suffers from insulin dependent diabetes and my Nan has had to call 999 several times as she had found him on the floor, unconscious. She now has to make him eat.
A few weeks ago, Nan had gone shopping and Grandad was visited by a gang of men who said they needed roofing work done. When Nan got home she discovered he had given them nearly £8,000 they had saved. They came back on Monday to ‘do the work’ but next door called the police. Of course no one could do anything as they hadn’t broken in and taken anything. They had just come back to try and get some more money.
Nan is obviously distraught. She told me ‘How can I tell him off when he doesn’t even know that he’s done anything wrong?’ At least she now realises that there is no way she can keep money at home any more. She now locks him in the house when she goes out but I’m worried because of fire, etc.
I told her last time I visited that she should get her name on the account that all the bills were paid from, which fortunately, she did. Unfortunately, she doesn’t understand bank accounts as Grandad always dealt with everything so didn’t realise they were overdrawn. I now have power of attorney over that account so that I can keep an eye on things but that was a pain to sort out – I was lucky to be able to get time off work on Monday to go and sort it out before I came home. I see I need to sort out becoming enduring power of attorney, probably for both of them.
I’m feeling very frustrated and overwhelmed at the moment. I have downloaded as many of the factsheets as I could that seemed relevant and will read through when I have time. This site has been so useful though and I will try and condense some info into a format that will be useful for my Nan and easy to understand.
Sorry I’ve gone on and if it some of it seems OT but I can’t seem to talk about it all but it’s ok to type. Make sense?