What an Interesting thread, brought up an issue I am having with my mother and not wanting to put incontinences pads on her , as then I feel it would get her out of the habit of going to the toilet , as now I am having to remained her to go to the toilet or other wise she holds it in and by the time she gets to the toilet , she wet herself . This use to happen last year and she use to get very embarrassed about it and I can’t blame her. I did try the pads last year , but she did not like them and someone told me that if I put pads on her she just get use to them and not use the toilet .
And now if I put them on her , as it can be me that forgets to remind her to go to the toilet as she sleeps a lot , she still go to the toilet with the pads on and forget to put them back on she really does not like them so I am respecting her wishes . So I am trying hard to remember to look at the time to keep reminding her to go to the toilet, this time around as my social worker says that I should put pads on her , as it save on wasing , but I have plastic sheet on her bed , and its not the bed she wets or chair , just that the floor on the way to the toilet .
So I do agree with you John when you say
When my mum came out of hospital it was the first time she'd been fully incontinent. Being in the hospital seem to have brought that on more than it had been. I think that stems from the practice of sticking people in incontinence pants, and letting them sit there for the day, simply because the hospital haven't got the support staff to take patients to the toilet every 2 hours. It just a matter of staffing arithmetic
I also find that mum does not like drinking to much because she has to keep going to the loo , I can’t force mum to drink and I do leave water next to her , she drink Milk , but I have been told its not good to drink to much milk because she diabetic .
I also find that my mother closes her eyes a lot I wonder what she thinking. I try not to do that as it all can get so depressing for me, but I suppose it’s a stage we may go through.
The dreaming we use to have conversation about it and I would get the dream book out , it would inspire mum to talk now she does not do it anymore even if I ask what she has dream about .
Yes I also feel scared , but I am just really pleased that my mother is not scared because she does not realize what is happening to her or how worse she is going to get , she ill she says and its because of her leg , chest diabetic . I give her loads of hugs sometime she does not respond back just wonder why I am hugging her and she smile back at me .
That’s all we can do really is ant it? Hugs love care. I keep telling myself she had a good life, long life mum 76. I have to tell myself this to try to keep myself positive as its all to sad and I can get very profound about life, yes Mr AZ has shown me we are not the car we drive, or the house we live in. Martial things are not what counts. We are brought up in a bubble in a comfort zone that only really bust when we are personnel face with terminal illness, or death. for me I feel this will break or make me and I know it will has made me a better person inside for seeing being there for my mother , yes I count my blessing . my faith now is spiritual rather then
Religion faith in myself
One universal love for all under one universe