finally asked for help

littlegem

Registered User
Nov 11, 2010
837
0
north Wales
Hello all,

I've been struggling the last few months and asked hubby's Doc for referral to Memory clinic again, it's over 12 months since we last had anything to do with them and obviously hubby has become worse.

Well the CPN has just left, a lovely lady , we've had a long chat and she is going to put several things into place for us. (She actually said I was coping really well and gave me a hug and a pat on the back!!!!)

She is referring me to the psychologist,:rolleyes: yup me not hubby.
This is to learn coping mechanisms when hubby has his 'bad days' as I find them hard to deal with.
She is going to ask the dreaded SS for Direct Payments for me, never been offered them by SS before.
Someone from the memory clinic is going to come and take hubby out once a week for a couple of hours, so with his fishing (I pay privately for) that will be 4 hours a week break.
She completely understands why I do not want hubby to go into respite, he is only 62 and would hate it, he hates going into his Mum's care home and more to the point I worry about wether he would get worse with the upheaval, doesn't seem worth it YET.

So all in all an excellent result.
Nearly started crying when the CPN left, it was such a relief to talk to someone about everything.
Thank you all for being there.
xx take care xx
 

Dazmum

Registered User
Jul 10, 2011
10,322
0
Horsham, West Sussex
That's such good news for you, it takes courage to ask for help and it must be such a relief to hear that you can have the level you need. I'm so pleased for you xx
 

SWMBO1950

Registered User
Nov 17, 2011
2,076
0
Essex
Hello Littlegem

My heart goes out to you. Alough both my FIL (in Care) and my mother both have dementia they are at least older - 85 & 97 respectively.

Early onset is the worst possible situation to be living with (my neighbour had this with her husband - he was diagnosed at 52).

All I can say is you are in my thoughts and I hope the extra 'me time' eases the stress a little.

Very Best Wishes
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
81,447
0
Kent
Isn`t it good when the professionals understand where you are coming from and are able to provide what you need. xx
 

TinaT

Registered User
Sep 27, 2006
7,097
0
Costa Blanca Spain
And don't be afraid to ask for more help as time goes on! Things change, circumstances change and your needs will change so now you know there is help, don't be afraid to ask for help as and when the changes happen.

xxTinaT
 

Sox

Registered User
Mar 12, 2011
325
0
Hi Little Gem - I am so pleased you had such a successful outcome from your request for help. Make the most of "your" time. Take care. Sox
 

Paradoxim

Registered User
May 10, 2012
12
0
Suffolk
It's great that you got such a good response! I'm glad you felt able to ask for help and even more so that you got it.
 

Night-owl

Registered User
Feb 10, 2011
22
0
S. Lincs
SS might not be so bad

Hullo Llittlegem
Six months ago I too dreaded dealings with social services; but your supportive CPN and her input will make a big difference to how they will react to you. Mum had a crisis in the Autumn and GP said she needed full time care. Mum had had direct payments which weren't really adequate, and SS said they couldn't give more etc etc. However, the GP's recommendations, notes from her carers, and prepared arguments from me and my husband got the social worker saying we had a good case for LA funding; and despite the Co. Council turning nearly everybody down, Mum got her funding in Jan.
My LA, not known for generosity, still provide me with a support worker whom I can ring, and until Mum went into care, a small direct payment each year for me to spend on a 'leisure' pursuit...computer classes. I do hope you and your husband will have a positive experience too this time.
Love, Night-owl