at the end of my rope

[Redwitch]

An Update... not going to well

Well I have tried to move things forward over the past couple of weeks, without any great success

Went to look at extra sheltered housing yesterday, as suggested by SS. Really not the right place for Mum, open door policy which is not appropriate for someone with Dementia. If Mum has one of her "moments" she tries to run away,,, whoch she would be able to do without necessarily being noticed.

Mum has over the past 2 weeks become very agitated and concerned that people are controlling hershe shouts at carers and volunteers and tells them off

Her usual Crossroads carers has been off on holiday for 1.5 weeks than called in sick on Thursday. Got a phone call late afternoon today to say that she is now off on holiday for the next 2 weeks. Mum is getting upset about the changes to her routine, didn't like the last replacement so I daren't replace again.

OH half has had man flu, which I haven't taken seriously, got sent home Tuesday went to GP yesterday... injected Antibiotics, back today another dose, Chest Xray and more than probably Peuracy as he is so run down.

Me? running on empty, called CPN, she has written to SS, really this is 2012, who sends letters, when you have phones and emails? I have emailed as well and explained just how desperate we are. Really at a loss as to what to do next

I have financial POA and was told as an only I didn't need Health POA, seems like it has all changed, so hopefully the forms will arrive tomorrow. Tried to get in to see GP but he is off (AGAIN), will try again Monday so I can ask him to write a letter to SS as well. Maybe afterr I break I can cope for a while longer whilst I get a proper plan together, who knows, will start making calls tomorrow. Wish me luck xxx

 

[Saffie]

Good luck Jan, you do seem to be running yourself ragged. Sorry about your husband too. I hope you turn a corner soon and find some helpful people there waiting for you.It will be about time!
XXX

 

[Onlyme]

Me? running on empty, called CPN, she has written to SS, really this is 2012, who sends letters, when you have phones and emails? I have emailed as well and explained just how desperate we are. Really at a loss as to what to do next

It may be that incoming letters get logged through a central system and therefore have to be answered and acted on unlike emails. I have worked places where as soon as things go onto paper they have to respond in a given time. Please don't give up yet.

Loads of good vibes coming your way.

 

[Redwitch]

Really struggling tonight, on bottle number 2 , I should be looking after OH

Jan

 

[jan.s]

Dear Jan
I am so sorry things are not going well - how slowly the wheels grind.

I hope things start to move forward for you soon. Sending you love.

Jan x

 

[Dottie]

Hi Jan,

I am so sorry you are feeling so low, this whole situation sounds so stressful for you, you must be worn out with it all.

Please hang in there & try to stay strong, sooner or later there will be light at the end of the tunnel I'm sure.

Sending you much love & thoughts,

Dottie xxx

 

[LadyA]

Hugs to you. Can't do anything else to help, I'm afraid.

Must go and get old grumpy-drawers to bed! He wants to advertise and get together and lead a group of 50 or so on a pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostela in Spain. Anyone like to go along with him? He's very cross and cranky right now because I wasn't filled with enthusiasm and wouldn't immediately contact travel agents!

 

[S GREENER]

Hi there.....I think you and I may be in the same boat! I too look after my Mum. I live with her and last year I reduced my working week down to 4 days so I can spend Fridays as a quality day with her. I have a carer in Mon-Thurs while I work and I have 4 hours on a Wed eve so me and my other half can actually have a night out together. (I've been with him for just over 24 yrs, but the poor bloke has to spend lots of time on his own these days as I have to be with Mum). My latest problem is that my 2 brothers can no longer give me a break over night now and then as Mum has got to the stage where she needs a female to assist her on the toilet etc. Everybody thinks the easy way out is to put her into respite so I can have a holiday away, but for me I just can't face doing that. She has never been away from the home before - unless it's been with me - and I know she would be so scared. My Mum has not shown shouting or aggressive behaviour as you have described, but your frustrations and physical symptoms seem all too familiar. I have a hosp apt early April for a camera to go down the throat as I feel a sort of obstruction feeling; but doc thinks it may be stress!?!
Anyway; although a little way behind you, I can see that I'm too heading towards the "help, don't think I can cope with all this for too much longer" and so understand how you're feeling. Sounds like you've done a good job so far, so you must remember that. Keep your chin up - best wishes.

 

[2jays]

HUGE HUGS. I'm on my third AND I've eaten all my haribos

 

[Redwitch]

Mum Sectioned

Well Friday night OH decided enough was enough, and called the Dementia Crisis team. Saturday morning on duty CPN arrived tried to talk to us away from Mum so as not to distress her. Didn't go down to well, demanded to speak to CPN. She could see how tired and stressed OH and I were, agreed that we needed a break and that Mum should be assessed for a change of Meds. Her increased aggression and paranoia was not just my imagination. SW and 2 doctors arrived at 2pm, Mum wouldn't let me in the room and was angry and refusing any help. They said no option other than to section at level 2. By the time they had finished all the paperwork at least Mum agreed to let us take her to the hospital rather than go by ambulance. No available bed in the area so 70 mile roundtrip

Hopefully they will be able to move her closer,not sure how long she will be there, but to be honest I am enjoying the peace and quiet Am I bad

Not sure what will happen next, does anybody have any knowledge of this? I feel strangly calm, drinking less and not a haribo for two days, in fact have hardly eaten for 2 days and what I have had has been healthy and when I am full I stop

Thank you all for your kind words of encouragement

Jan
xxx

 

[jan.s]

Well done Jan, at last some action! I am so pleased that you now have a chance to put some normaility into your life - and less haribos too!

Am I right in thinking Section 2 is for 28 days? That will maybe give you a chance to catch up things like sleep and talking to OH. No you are not bad for enjoying the peace and quiet, just normal!!

Thinking of you.
Jan

 

[Saffie]

I'm glad that something has been done for you at last. Make the most of your time and rest, rest, and more rest! Hopefully this will now result in further action by the powers-that-be which allow you all some quality of life. love XXX

 

[Grannie G]

to be honest I am enjoying the peace and quiet Am I bad

If you are Jan it makes two of us. It`s easy to forget how bad things can get. xx

 

[Helen33]

I can well imagine that you are enjoying the peace and the break. At the same time your mum will be being properly assessed and helped to stabilise hopefully.

Very positive news about the lack of the red stuff and the haribos. You'll be slimmer of the year I suspect if this carries on

Enjoy the peace whilst you can - you deserve it.

Love

 

[Redwitch]

I am guilty of the white stuff I am afraid not as good for you as the red. Busy day today trying to fit a weekend into a day E

 

[Dazmum]

Oh my goodness Jan, you've had an eventful weekend. No, of course you aren't bad enjoying the peace and quiet, make the most of it and relax. I didn't eat or drink much when mum went for respite, it all seemed quite surreal and I thought I might wake up any minute. Hope they can move your mum nearer, but (and this sounds unkind, I don't mean it to, and hope you understand) but when and if they do, don't go visiting every day, or feeling guilty if you haven't.....take this time for you and your family. lots of love xxx

 

[Chemmy]

Good result all round, including for your mum, as she'll now get the treatment she needs. She can't have been happy as she was so you've all now got to look forward to the better times ahead.

And don't feel a moment's guilt about enjoying some 'me' (or even 'us' ) time; you deserve every minute.

 

[Dottie]

Hi Jan,

No you are not at all bad.

Sorry this is brief as just returned from a week-end away & checking into TP before I go to bed (my mobile is very basic so can't access you all when away from home )

Keep enjoying the peace & quiet, Mum is safe & you need to rest.

Love Dottie xx

 

[2jays]

Just catching up with TP
Oh Jan what a lot has been going on when I wasn't looking!
Hope your weekend was restful. A huge step taken - now time for the little ones again, and relish the time for yourself and your family you deserve it.
Xx

 

[Farmergirl]

Thank God!!

At last - a result. Good for your OH making the call!
Please do not feel guilty - you are too tired to deal with your mum right now and both of you need a complete break.
Get some good sleep and spend some very much needed time together.

Im so pleased for you.