Thanks for replying. The Doctor thinks he has Dementia and he has had a scan but said can only receive medication for dementia if he comes off alcohol (which isn't going to happen.
I try to visit my parents every day to help because my mum has a disability since the stroke. She always talks about my dad and is concerned about him. I don't think my mum would ever agree to him going into a care home because she worries about how he will be treated. He rarely eats just drinks and smokes. We try to persuade him to eat by offering him different foods but he usually shouts at us when we try. His room is dirty and I try to clean it but he gets angry if he notices. He refuses to wash and change his clothes. We are worried he will die of starvation but do not know what we can do for him. He thinks he is still working and I see him looking outside for his car. (he has not worked or had a car for years
I am also concerned for my mums safety and health. She has limited mobility so can't deal with his behaviour.
I am not sure what help would be available even if he is diagnosed.
I have a pretty similar problem in that my oh is an alcoholic and now has short term memory loss. He is not and never has been violent or aggresive and his behaviour is very different in that he seems to wnat to hold on to the good things in life. Early days so far.
Our doctor wouldn't even express an opinion other than to say well maybe he has an alcoholic dementia. Other than that all I hear is you have to wait until there is a crisis.I too fer that if he is forced into a home of any kind he will not receive the care he needs because he has severe physical problems.
Its a really hard situation to deal with and it seems that you have every right to do any harm you like to yourself but your rights remain intact, but the carers have no rights at all.
I am seeing a counsellor, see if you can talk your gp into giving you access to counselling. It doesn't make the problems go away but it can helpyou to become betterable to cope with them.
You are not alone, pm me if you like, believe me I know what its like dealing with the demeon drink.