Help - I think my husband as vascular demential - but won't go to the Doctor

[LemonCheesecake]

I think my husband has vascular dementia - he is only 47 but has been ill for the last 20 months started with a series of mini strokes. He was a very active, intelligent fast thinking man. But is now a completely different person - agitated, anxious, forgetful,slow thinking, confused and seems totally unaware, or is denying, how out of sync he is. He won't see his doctor or any other health professionals as he says they won't know what is wrong! I'm finding it very difficult to cope, not so much with the day to day practicalities (we have a young daughter with ME and an elder son) but with his refusal to get help or diagnosis.

If there is anyone who has been through a similar situation I'd be really grateful to hear how they coped and how they got help. Thank you

 

[hollycat]

Could you see or write to his doctor, express your concerns and see if the GP would be willing to write to him with an appointment for a follow up to his recent stroke history, for example appointment for blood pressure, urine and blood ?

I have just posed your question to my hubby who hates the doctors and his suggestion is:

Does he have any male friends that might stand a better chance of discussing the matter with him ?

My best wishes to you all

 

[Ephraim]

Hi. You are in a difficult situation similar to the one I was in with my dad who refused to acknowledge that anything was wrong. Although I mentioned it to his GP she refused to discuss him under the rules of patient confidentiality.
Eventually I wrote to the head doctor in the practice sending the letter by recorded delivery. I outlined my concerns and described all the problems and symptoms my Dad displayed. I asked for them to investigate or to refer him to a memory clinic or to a suitable specialist. The letter worked wonders and they arranged an appointment where the doctor asked some questions directly related to my letter. A scan of it was visible on her computer screen but she made no reference to it. Dad was then promptly referred to a memory clinic as well as being sent to the local hospital the same day for a brain scan. I guess the doctor realised I was telling the truth and realised she had better act.
I believe my strongly worded letter actually intimidated the head of practice into acting.
Your husband's history of mini strokes should be reason enough for the doctor to call him in for a review and assessment. You should suggest this as the apparent motivation/reason for an appointment being sent to him.
As for vascular dementia, this diagnosis needs to be left to the professionals. There may be drugs which can help him so do not loose hope just yet.
I hope this helps a bit. Just a suggestion based on my own experience.
I wish you well.
Ehpraim