Very upset and could do with some advice please.

[juliejo]

I went to visit my dad with my daughter and granddaughter who is in respite for a week this afternoon and am thinking of complaining tomorrow about what i witnessed whilst there.

My dad sits on his own in a large sun lounge at the back of the building as he likes to be on his own and looking out into the garden, trees and flowers.

Well first dad said he had been out in the garden on his own. He is not supposed to go out in case of falling and the grass was quite slippery. We took him out and kept our thoughts to ourselves as we did'nt want to upset dad.

We came back in and through another door in a small room sat about 12 lady residents all on there own with the tele full blast and heard shouting.
I went into the room to find a lady very agitated asked for her blanket and wanted covering up. As soon as i went over a "carer" suddenly appeared and told me not to touch her and ignore her please as she is always like that. I came out as was stuck for words at the time. I was upset and shocked.

The only other "carer" was a young girl who did nothing but "tut" and sigh all the time and kept sitting in the corridor.!!!!!!!

I went back into the conservatory back to dad and closed the door.
However we then heard loud shouting. I then heard the older carer shout very loud "if you don't be quiet and shut up shouting you will go to your room". I then heard the lady crying and was ignored.

We had to come away as my daughter needed to be home and as we came out there was no-one in the room at all with these ladies and we had to walk along a corridor to find someone to let us out.

Eventually the young carer came out face like thunder and opened the door for us. Dad always cries and hugs us for ages when we go but she was almost pushing us out.
Dad always stand's at the door when we drive off but she slammed the door on me!!.

To say i am shocked and upset is an understatement.
My dad is booked in there for respite through till next January and if anything should happen to mum at home he will go permanently.

I have sat here since thinking if that was my dad and he was spoken to like that i would have gone beserk. I can still see that dear lady sat there crying. She was shouted at as if she were a child not a human being.

I only saw two staff on in all the time i was there and am ringing the home tomorrow to voice my concerns.

In the last care home dad was in for respite which closed down there were many staff there on a Sunday all playing games, singing and dancing with the residents before teatime and were so friendly. There was none of this. All resident were just left sitting on there own with the tele full blast and nothing else.

Am i being over dramatic here as i am thinking as this a one off but then i think , well no it wasn't a place i would want my dad to be in full time.

Any thoughts please. Most have Dementia in there as does my dear dad.

 

[sistermillicent]

You are not being over dramatic. I think you are right to ring tomorrow and complain. Make sure you put it in writing too. Don't be fobbed off with excuses such as they were short of staff that day because being short of staff doesn't mean you have to be nasty to people.
Good luck
Pippa

 

[bunnies]

Please ask to see the manager and describe what you saw. Your reaction is quite right, and the manager of the home needs to know that carers are not treating people as they should be.

 

[together]

Please voice your concerns. Mum was in a home for only 2 weeks when I visited on a sunday and due to lack of staff found an appalling situation. I returned on Monday to make a complaint only to find it had led to such detioriation in Mum we lost her that week. I will always regret not having acted on what i witnessed on the 2 previous visits I'd made. You need to have confidence in who's looking after your Dad. Good luck Katherine

 

[chucky]

I would report what you saw and heard first thing in the morning. I would also follow it up with a letter, if you have it in writing should things go wrong you have proof you raised your concerns. I wouldnt hesitate to report it, if the CH manager doesnt act on it complain to the SS and the CC. Someone should investigate this, it may well be a one off but even so its not the right way to talk to or treat vulnerable adults. It makes you wonder what goes on that you dont see. I wouldnt hesitate because next time it could be your dad. My dad was abused physically and mentally by a staff member over a period of months and it was reported by a co -worker (eventually). It made me think how much abuse did he suffer before the other worker spoke up. Make that call and make them take notice that you are not happy about what you saw.

 

[LadyA]

Definitely report it. The thing about Carers (and I work part time as a Home Care worker, but what I am saying also applies to Residential Care workers and family carers), is that we have enormous power over the people we take care of. And you know what they say about power - power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. While I am not for one second suggesting that all or even a lot of carers are abusive of the people in their care, I am saying that this is something we need to be aware of and sensitive to - it's an uncomfortable thing for the person in need of care to be in the power of someone else to that extent, and it is equally an uncomfortable thing for us to have such power. We need to be very sensitive about it. Sadly, when you get Carers who are for some reason - be it over-work, outside stress, or just not right for the job - in a situation where they come to resent the people they are caring for, that feeling of power can lead to abuse. And abuse is what you witnessed. It should not be happening in any environment where there are vulnurable people who are unable to defend themselves or even stand up to bullying - and in this case, it seems it was simply an elderly person with dementia trying to express a need (wanting her blanket).

 

[jan.s]

That is so awful. The residents are totally in the hands of the carers and have no means of complaint, as most wouldn't be able to express such treatment. As others before have said, you must speak to the manager. If it were me, I would also want to find out what action he/she intends to take.

When my husband went into respite, he came home covered in cuts and bruises; I had no way of finding out how these had happened, but I did speak to the SW who then reported it to the Safeguarding team. They took up the matter with the care home, but I didn't find out what happened as bigger issues arose for my husband, and I just let this go. What I am trying to say is, I would talk to your SW about it too, so they are aware.

Is it possible to find an alternative home for him?

I hope all works out well.

Jan x

 

[juliejo]

Thankyou so much

Thankyou for advising me earlier as was so upset.
After talking with my brother earlier we are both going to complain as he has issues too with the care home after his last visit to see dad but no-where as bad as this.

Yes i would never forgive myself if it happened to my dear dad would i?

I am getting on the phone first thing in the morning and also will put it in writing.

Thanks again and goodnight to you all x

 

[hollycat]

Agree with Jan.S on this one i.e. her last comment about finding another home.

Main reason I say that is, I wouldn't report it to the manager, I would go above the mangers head. Reason, any half decent manager should know their staff, their working conditions etc etc so whenever one is complaining, the manager should ALSO be held accountable in some way.

Any manager that says....but, but, but I don't have eyes in the back of my head, how was I to know, is short staffed or needs to go to specsavers.

I really FEEL for the caring profession and the conditions they endure. My OH and I are live in carers for mum and she is a handfull for 2. If/when she ends up in CH/NH the staffing levels will go from 2 people caring 24/7 to.......I hate to think ! That is NO EXCUSE WHATSOEVER for what you have had to entail.

I hope someone can find it in their heart to agree that moving from one on one care at home to say one in 10, especially when our loved ones are generally at a crisis/critical stage is a ridiculous split.

I am so so sorry you have had to endure this unaccetable behaviour.

 

[Margaret W]

It's dead hard to complain. We aren't used to it. But I definitely think you should raise this and see what happens. And maybe look around for alternative care homes for your dad. It doesn't seem to me that the treatment of residents is acceptable.

Love

Margaret

 

[SWMBO1950]

I find this very upsetting no only for what you witnessed but for the residents that were being treated so badly - it is nothing more than abuse. The is absolutely no excuse for staff to behave in this way and if they cannot cope with dementia patients - find another job!

I have to say the staff members were very lucky it was not me that heard all this

Please report it in the morning in the strongest possible terms and also have a quiet word with the CQC as they are responsible for ensuring standards in homes/hospitals etc. You wont hear back I they wont use your name but they will probably give an un-announced visit.

Those two individual should be ashamed of themselves and quite honestly sacked

Good luck with your complaint

Agree with Jan.S on this one i.e. her last comment about finding another home.

Main reason I say that is, I wouldn't report it to the manager, I would go above the mangers head. Reason, any half decent manager should know their staff, their working conditions etc etc so whenever one is complaining, the manager should ALSO be held accountable in some way.

Any manager that says....but, but, but I don't have eyes in the back of my head, how was I to know, is short staffed or needs to go to specsavers.

I really FEEL for the caring profession and the conditions they endure. My OH and I are live in carers for mum and she is a handfull for 2. If/when she ends up in CH/NH the staffing levels will go from 2 people caring 24/7 to.......I hate to think ! That is NO EXCUSE WHATSOEVER for what you have had to entail.

I hope someone can find it in their heart to agree that moving from one on one care at home to say one in 10, especially when our loved ones are generally at a crisis/critical stage is a ridiculous split.

I am so so sorry you have had to endure this unaccetable behaviour.

 

[LadyA]

It's dead hard to complain. We aren't used to it. But I definitely think you should raise this and see what happens. And maybe look around for alternative care homes for your dad. It doesn't seem to me that the treatment of residents is acceptable.

Love

Margaret

And one of the reasons none of us like to complain about situations like this is because we fear it will make things worse for the residents, isn't it? They may not know who complained, but they will know that someone who visited one of the residents complained. This is not the way things should be, is it?

 

[juliejo]

I have sent the care home and e-mail as no-one rang me back and will let you know the outcome.

My dad had no choice where he went as the care home he was in last year closed. We had an awful time with social services who were trying to find dad rolling respite once a week each month. Please take my word for that as we complained higher up for months for dad and no-one did rolling respite and could'nt guarantee him a bed each month. Mum was ill with stress with all this.

When we first looked at the care home it was Summer last year and it was in a beautiful villiage and dad took to it straight away. We were given 24 hours to make our minds up or that bed place would go to someone else so took it.

Dad is quiet happy there anyway and to move him again may kill him. Don't say that lightly either.

Being very ill myself isn't helping either and its very hard for me too as i am mainly housebound and have no other support.

 

[Margaret W]

I don't do this very often, but sending hugs and kisses. Don't know how to do pictures. But I thought a few hugs and kisses might help a bit.

Love

Margaret hughughughughug, xxxxxxxxxxx/

 

[LadyA]

Here are some :

I understand how things are with beds - it's the same here. It's a matter of where there is a bed available. I'm very thankful my William is nowhere near Care Home stage, and I'm hoping I'll be able to keep him at home until the end. Being so much younger than him helps a lot. I just can't imagine how someone his own age would cope, and my heart goes out to all those spouses of people with dementia, who are elderly themselves and trying to cope with all it throws at them.

 

[KTY]

I agree always make a written complaint.. But also make sure you put your complaint in writing to your local authority. When you contact the care home make them aware that you have also contacted your local authority to inform them of your concerns. Also if you haven't already seen it then ask for a copy of the home's last report made by social services. I work for an LA and know that legally they have to act on complaints of this nature, you need to stress that you are concerned for your dads welfare, title the letter 'concerned for my fathers welfare'.. little tip there.

All the best with it , it's hard enough putting our parents in a home but impossible to deal with if the home is like that..

 

[juliejo]

Wow well a huge thankyou to all of you for the advice ans support.

I have just received an e-mail from the owner of the home to arrange a time suitable to meet to discuss the issues i raised with her.

Going to ring in a minute and see what she has to say.

Will let you know later.
Bye for now.xx

 

[handyjack]

The statement in your original post " I then heard the older carer shout very loud "if you don't be quiet and shut up shouting you will go to your room". I then heard the lady crying and was ignored."
Is very worrying. Surely this should be raised as a safeguarding issue. Threats of putting someone in their room should not be tolerated in any home. It makes you wonder what goes on in this home when visitors aren't there. As suggested by others I'd also report them to the CQC. and Social Services.

 

[bets daughter]

Its a disgrace , these people should be hauled over the coals , i agree with Handyjack CQC and Social Services Head of Adult Care in your area should be informed , it must be horrendous to have to leave thier loved one there in appalling cicumstances .I hope this will be dealt with by the powers that be effectivley for all concerned .Await for update.