Why do some people with dementia need to keep approaching people???

[Reds]

Hi!

I understand the fact that people with dementia often lose their inhibition. However, why do they have to approach people not just for a chat but mainly to joke!

I watched a program on tv last night called 'Granny's moving in' and she had dementia and they filmed her approaching people. My husband who is now 59 with Alzheimer's approaches people to joke but is this because he wants to be centre of attention, or to have something to do, or does he think they are all friends, or is it to make them laugh, or is it because he has become like children again or or???? He sometimes pretends to take peoples cakes but I would rather he mainly joked with just the family, I can't help feeling unhappy about it. I just hope his behaviour won't upset anyone.

Don't mean to sound stupid but why such a need to do this? Its just that he sees that I don't go and approach everyone as well as other family members and generally the public.

There is a lot of people with dementia but no one has approached me in this way and I haven't seen anyone do what my husband does until I watched last nights program.

Thanks to anyone who reads/comments - Reds

 

[SnowLeopard17]

Dear Reds

My husband has just turned 58, he will always 'crack a joke' with anyone and everyone he comes in contact with. They may not always understand the 'joke' but mostly people smile and go along with it. This gives him a lot of pleasure and most importantly I believe it gives him value. He has always enjoyed communicating with people, and indeed it was an important part of his job when he worked.

Whilst he occasionally may say something inappropriate i hope he can continue 'to make people happy' as he sees it and get pleasure from it.

Snow Leopard, with love

 

[SnowLeopard17]

Dear Reds

My husband has just turned 58, he will always 'crack a joke' with anyone and everyone he comes in contact with. They may not always understand the 'joke' but mostly people smile and go along with it. This gives him a lot of pleasure and most importantly I believe it gives him value. He has always enjoyed communicating with people, and indeed it was an important part of his job when he worked.

Whilst he occasionally may say something inappropriate i hope he can continue 'to make people happy' as he sees it and get pleasure from it.

Snow Leopard, with love

 

[Ephraim]

Hi, I have the same experience with my Dad. I take him to supermarkets and he always manages to wander off and I find him making silly jokes with strangers. They always laugh etc but when I get the opportunity to overhear what he is saying it is usually just rubbish and not in the least bit funny.
Having said that, I think he must be lonely in his increasingly small world and takes the opportunity to interact with people other than two or three he is used to seeing on a daily basis. People/strangers are very tolerant and seem to realise immediately that there is 'something wrong'.
Do not be embarrassed. If he was missing a leg people would notice pretty quickly. Alzheimers is 'out there' and I think people are very aware.
It would be different if he was being abusive! I hope this helps a bit..
Best wishes,
Ephraim.

 

[SWMBO1950]

If your husband has AD he probably wont be able to distinguish between family members and strangers.

You seem embarrassed by his behaviour but please dont be as I would rather have a jolly AD sufferer than and agressive one. AD affects sufferers differently and my mother now would not recognise a joke if she fell over one such is her decline.

There may come a time in the future when you wish he could tell a joke or two. It is innocent fun so let him have it while he is able. This 'phase' will pass just like all the phases do

Best Wishes

 

[FifiMo]

You might find that the joking is a way of compensating for loss of language skills. It is a lot easier to relax and have a laugh and a joke than it is to have to concentrate and follow a serious conversation. He is probably not even aware that he is approaching strangers and just sees everyone as people and people who are "in his space" at that time. It does rather sound like he enjoys the interactions with others and derives pleasure from those that he meets, so perhaps there is benefit in just going with the flow. Like others have said, it is probably just a phase and that this too will pass...

Fiona

 

[SWMBO1950]

I so agree with you FifiMo. He sound a jolly person to me and I think it is a 'good place to be' whilst it lasts bless him

You might find that the joking is a way of compensating for loss of language skills. It is a lot easier to relax and have a laugh and a joke than it is to have to concentrate and follow a serious conversation. He is probably not even aware that he is approaching strangers and just sees everyone as people and people who are "in his space" at that time. It does rather sound like he enjoys the interactions with others and derives pleasure from those that he meets, so perhaps there is benefit in just going with the flow. Like others have said, it is probably just a phase and that this too will pass...

Fiona