Hi Pied,
Good to hear from you. Been worrying!
It does sound as though life has been pulling you in all directions again, and I know how tiring that can be. Like a previous member said...my heart also stopped for a second when I read about you finding a lump, so I am very relieved it appears to be nothing. Do look after yourself and try to rest, when you can.
Your mum sounds peaceful and, sometimes, that in itself is a blessing.
The breathing? I don't know. I had read all sorts, in "preparation" and it all seemed to confuse me. I think you'll know what it means when a combination of changes occur. My mum's sleepiness was the first sign of major change, as she slept for most of the day, but this actually went on for months and months.
When it came to "the time", it was all very rapid, and lots of things happened very suddenly. As you know, it started with the pressure sore being infected. Then the trouble swallowing, then the breathing. This was all in 10 days...
However, you also know that we suspected another possible unrelated illness, so everyone's path will differ.
Mum's breathing in her last 10 days was similar to what you describe, but the GP told me in wasn't Cheyne Stoking at first. We suspect she had a chest infection, although her lungs were clear...one of them had a blockage (hence the underlying illness?). In the last couple of days it was confirmed to be Cheyne Stoking, but she was practically unconscious. She had the pain relief patch, but I don't think that had anything to do with her breathing.
Occasionally, she would cough, and there was some phlegm in her throat but no "rattle" as I had read about. We had to make sure her mouth was kept clear of obstruction regularly. But her breathing scared me because she would breathe consistently and be in a deep sleep, then just stop. I would count and it was anywhere from 6-15 seconds. Then she'd exhale loudly and carry on. This went on and on and on for 10 days and towards the very end, the "holding of breath" (as I saw it) lasted a little longer.
The only noise she ever really made was the night before she died. It was like a little barking noise from her chest. My sister rang me from the NH at 10pm and let me listen to it over the phone. It's a noise I can hear to this day, and I don't think I will ever get it out of my head. Mum dies at 6.15am the following morning.
I would say that if the staff haven't jumped on this, then it shouldn't be too much of an immediate concern, but I really wouldn't know. From my own experience, it was that combination that I talked about at the start of this post. Combination of changes and combination of people: NH staff, GP, Skin Tissue Nurse, and me. Together we knew and they confirmed.
Did the staff say anything, or did you not get to ask if they'd noticed your mum's breathing pattern? I remember Sundays at mum's Nursing Home. I remember too well. Sometimes, very hard to find the right person, and often weekend staff who hadn't seen a change.
I do hope your mum stays comfortable for a long while yet. The serene smile and the "i love you", the gooseberry fool and the closeness you have. It's precious.
We're here if you need us, always, xxx
take care of yourself love larivy
