Wheee! Highlight of the day

[jenniferpa]

Hi Loulee, and welcome to TP

You might find that you'll get more responses if you start a new thread in this forum - lots of people (me included) tend not to notice new posts in these "stickies" (i.e. existing threads that are stuck to the top of the forum).

I think I'm right in say that Zopiclone is a sleeping pill? How long has she been taking it? I was under the impression that this medication was advisable only over the sort term. I also have a (personal) feeling that if a sleeping medication is not effective for a dementia patient it is worse that useless - you have a now drowsy dementia sufferer who is even more likely to do something unexpected.

What does her GP say about this? I think that would be your first port of call. Sadly, night wandering, or a confusion about day or night seems to part and parcel of dementia in all it's forms - my mother has stroke damage, and seems to have little appreciation that night is for sleeping.

Jennifer

 

[dmc]

hi loulee,

the place you need to post is in support for people with dementia and their carers, but dont worry im sure one of the moderators will move it for you.
my mum is also on zopiclone and she's awake nearly all night as well but if need be weve been told that we can give her two.
sure you'll get more replies when your post is moved

 

[Susi T]

Can anyone help!!!!

Today has been a good day for me, I have found this forum!!! Forgive me if I ramble a bit, this week has been a little bit trying!! My Dad who is 77, has been diagnosed with dementia by his GP, this came about when I went to his doctor with him early in the year, I was concerned about medication if he was taking the right dose etc. He is more or less totally deaf (doesn't like wearing hearing aid) and has heart condition (pacemaker fitted). Doctor was pleased that I had attended and went on to tell me how my father would turn up at surgery for non existent appointments and prescriptions that hadn't been ordered! Thinking back I think my father has had this condition for sometime, he can "fly off the handle" at the least little thing, forgetfullness has been evident for the last 5 years at least, favourite being, leaving house key at home.

I live at home with my father, and work full time, since my mother died (20 years ago) my father took on the role of "housekeeper". He took redundancy at 54 to look after my mother. she passed away 3 months after he left work!! Although he is on his own during the day, he likes to keep to his routine, like prepping veg for tea and cooking the evening meal. I think after Mum died he wanted to look after me, I know I was spoilt I am an only child, no partner and find this situation very difficult to deal with. We have family locally, I think they are a little bit weary of Dad's condition, on saying that I probably don't encourage them as much as I should do to visit, think I am probabaly embarrased for my Dad!!!

I did say I was going to ramble!! up until now I think we have managed quite well however, since last weekend my father has been getting up during the night insisting it is morning, (in his defence 8 in the morning is the same as 8 at night). Has any one got any advice how to deal with this, I think I mentioned before he is deaf and the TV on at 4 in the morning is not good for neighbour relations, we live in a terraced house.

I have manged to get attendance allowance for my father, and I have a good rapport with his doctor, we have no help from Social Services apart from the allowance.

I manage my fathers bank account as he was losing cards and cash, I am now joint signature on the account, my next step is to have my name put on the house deeds. I am totally into new territory now, could one of you kind people offer any advice, I would be grateful.

I think I have gone on enough, thanks for the opportunity to share some of my feelings etc. putting this message together has helped

Thank you
Susi T

 

[Skye]

Hi Susi T

Welcome to TP, and congratulations on having the courage to post about your father.

Can I make a suggestion?

If you copy this post and paste it as a new thread (still in the same forum), you'll get more replies. Most of us look for new posts there, and lots of people will welcome you, and come up with suggestions.

You seem to be doing a good job, but you could do with some help. Is there a local branch of the Alzhiemer's Society? If so, you should get in touch with them, and they'll tell you what support is available.

Social services should be able to give you more support. You should ring and ask for a re-assessment. They should assess your father, and also you as a carer.

Good luck,

 

[Susi T]

Thanks for your comments Hazel, there is an Alzheimers Society in Leamington so I will be contacting them this week and Social Services. I know I should spend more time with Dad, I know it is selfish of me to say, going to work keeps me going at the moment. I will try and do what you suggest, however, I am pretty good at bidding on ebay but not much else on the computer. Thanks once again Hazel, I know the way forward is to ask for help now. All the very best Susi T

 

[Skye]

Suzi T

Just highlight and copy your message, go back to the forum, click the New`Thread button at the top left, and paste !

Good luck

 

[Lila13]

I don't think that it's selfish.

Lila

I know it is selfish of me to say, going to work keeps me going at the moment.

 

[jenniferpa]

Absolutely not selfish - you can become consumed by caring, and that won't do you any good in the long run.

Confusion about night and day is pretty common. Not that knowing that is any help. The only 2 things I can think of that might help, but might possibly cause more problems are some kind of lockable timer on the TV plug, or headphones. However, I can well see that the former might simply cause him to come and disturb you (or worse - try to fix a perceived electrical problem ) while the latter may be technologically too advanced for him to handle (my mother can't manage the remote now).

Welcome to TP, anyway.

Jennifer

 

[Susi T]

I felt guilty this week, I have started to remove the batteries from the remote, although my Dad sits in front of the TV I'm not sure if he follows the programme! I had Sky TV fitted for him in September, since then he insists on turning the TV off at the wall, although the remote is the same as before I made sure it was fitted that way. I think the winter is worse for him, dark mornings and evenings!

 

[Skye]

Susi T

You're not being selfish, and you mustn't feel guilty. You have recognised that your dad needs more help than you can give him, and we all come to that conclusion eventually. Help is there, you just have to know who to ask, and AS and SS will help you there.

You could also contact Princess Royal Trust for Carers, if you have a local branch. They're wonderfully supportive, and are very good with young carers.

I think you should also try to get your family involved. Don't be embarrassed, dementia is a physical illness like any other (have you checked the fact sheets? Button on top of page.) Perhaps if you could call a family meeting, more company could be arranged for your dad during the day.

You're going to be busy, but you'll feel so much better when you get a support system set up.

 

[Susi T]

I take your point Hazel re family, however, Dad has had issues with one of my Uncles for a while and my other Auntie and uncle (these are relatives from my mum's side) have said they would come and visit, but they are not sure if he would hear them!!! I can recall when my mum was poorly the visits to the hospital were very brief. We went to my Aunties for Boxing Day, we were back home after a couple of hours, Dad was sick. I don't think he likes going out any more, he feels more comfortable at home. Is this another symptom of the dementia?

 

[Skye]

We went to my Aunties for Boxing Day, we were back home after a couple of hours, Dad was sick. I don't think he likes going out any more, he feels more comfortable at home. Is this another symptom of the dementia?

Oh yes!!!!

We went to one of John's son's on Boxing Day, and he insisted on coming home straight after lunch.

That wasn't too bad, we see the son regularly, and they understood, but last Thursday we were invited to a cousin's for lunch. They took us out for a lovely meal, and when we got back to their house John refused to take his coat off, saying he wanted to go home. That was embarrassing, but it's just something we have to accept. They don't know they're being rude, or inconsiderate. It's just the illness.

 

[Susi T]

Thanks Hazel, it is so good to share with others, I have good workmates and friends, however, I try and make light of it in case I break down!!! Miss Independent me, think it is because i am an only child.

 

[connie]

Today - with Lionel.

Had such a lovely day today with Lionel. He was on top form.

I was stroking his forehead when he sopke about his loss of hair. "I will have to get myself a toup," he said. I corrected him and said "toupee". "No. I don't want to pay for it" was his quick reply.

We watched 'Countdown', . together this afternoon, and he got 3 or 4 four letter words and some were different to mine, although correct.

(Still agonising to say goodbye, but he seems very content) We are so fortunate
to have each other. Love

 

[glyn]

Happy

Im sooooooooo happy today ...Weve been having a real worrying time with mam being in hospital ....shes been very very angry and violent ...theres been talk about putting her on a section ...all we wanted as a family was for mam to take her medication so hopefullly she would settle down.... after being in hospital nearly 3 weeks she has eventually taken all her medication TODAY ,,,,and shes quite calm .....I hope shes a good girl again tomorrow and does the same....Ill sleep peacful tonight ,,,,I just cant explain the feeling ,,,,Life is wonderful again ,......TODAY

 

[willowsue]

Good day

Mum has had a few good days and finally after six long, very stressful weeks she is getting out of hospital and back to the lovely nursing home tomorrow - we can't wait. Sadly there will be no celebratory tea and cakes as she can't eat or drink safely any more so we will have to celebrate in a different way but I am just so glad to have some more time and although it is difficult to accept that she is in the late stages of the illness I will cherish each moment I have with her.

Isn't it funny that as time goes on with this illness that the smallest of things make such a difference - like a smile or a touch. She blew me a kiss goodbye today and I felt like I'd won the lottery! I'm grateful for a bit more time with her and although I know we may not have much time left I hope we can still have some happy moments while she still remembers who we are. For how much longer though I just don't know - the doctors say it could be two days, two weeks, two months, two years! Doesn't help much so I guess it's just one day at a time. Love you mum, warts and all.

 

[Tina]

My cousin and his wife sent me the most beautiful bunch of roses, chrysanths, freesias and carnations...no special reason...just because....can't remember when I was last sent flowers...in another lifetime...
Tina

 

[Skye]

Lovely Tina. You deserve it.

Isn't it wonderful how the unexpected present cheers us up.

Love,

 

[Amy]

Phone call from dad:
"I put a CD on (Glen Miller) and started to sing, and mum laughed - it was a real laugh".
Helen

 

[daughter]

That's lovely Helen - hold on tight to those little bits of magic.

love from Hazel.