I am another one who can relate to this problem, although as with other people, my twist is a bit different. Intimacy has always been really important for my husband's emotional security. It has been the final confirmation that I love and care for him - more powerful than words could ever be.
I must admit for a long time it has been a matter of "close your eyes and think of England" because I knew that he needed that closeness more than ever. But my husband is on so much medication that he is frequently impotent so there is no "quick fix". We do kiss and cuddle in bed as much as I can cope with but I get to the stage where I feel he is living off my life force. It sounds silly, but I often feel he is sucking me dry and that there is no part of me that he doesn't want to consume.
That is when I say no and he becomes bereft and miserable. But I need there to be some part of me where the focus isn't always him and his needs.
So, another thank you for raising the topic.
I must admit for a long time it has been a matter of "close your eyes and think of England" because I knew that he needed that closeness more than ever. But my husband is on so much medication that he is frequently impotent so there is no "quick fix". We do kiss and cuddle in bed as much as I can cope with but I get to the stage where I feel he is living off my life force. It sounds silly, but I often feel he is sucking me dry and that there is no part of me that he doesn't want to consume.
That is when I say no and he becomes bereft and miserable. But I need there to be some part of me where the focus isn't always him and his needs.
So, another thank you for raising the topic.