Sorry, long post and lots of questions needing answers ....
Background: Mum's lashed out at my Dad (her carer) on a number of occasions over about a year or so - low-level stuff like stamping on his feet, punching, pushing, etc. She's very rarely had a mild go at other people (eg my brother, sister-in-law and me).
The major event: Mum had what seemed like a full-blown paranoic episode late at night, screaming (aggressively rather than fearfully), punching and kicking out at Dad (her carer who's still recovering after a big operation). I pulled her off, indicated Dad should leave her to me and Mum and I then sat together for some time.
Mum asked whether I had a weapon, then said we could get knives and scissors to protect ourselves from Dad hurting us. I said she was perfectly safe, there was nothing to worry about and we'd just sit quietly for a bit. Mum said when your life is at risk, it's OK to hurt someone to protect yourself ... she didn't calm but went on repeatedly about the danger we were in, the unspecific threat within the house (she couldn't get downstairs to get the knives because - thankfully - it wasn't safe to leave the bedroom) and how I just didn't understand the danger but I'd learn.
I said I'd go and make us a cup of tea (praying she wouldn't follow me to where the "weapons" were more easily accessible) - but Mum didn't want me to do that because she was afraid of what would happen to me. Dad - hovering nearby - said he'd go and make us some tea; and Mum then begged him not to go because he might get hurt if he went downstairs. After more only marginally successful efforts at reassurance, Dad managed to slip away to make the tea (and get hold of the emergency dose of diazepam to slide into Mum's cup).
Even when feeling sleepy with the dose of diazepam inside her, Mum still talked about using weapons to defend herself (she picked at the cord of the dressing gown, saying she could use it to strangle someone, and she could hurt anyone attacking her by using her long toe nails).
Mum's a loving wife in a loving marriage, she's not nasty; this is an illness or medication induced paranoid-type reaction.
I called in emergency medical help early the next day. The physical health tests appear to rule out a UTI or other infection and there hasn't been any recent change in medication. Having spoken to Mum's own mental health team doctors, the GP persuaded Mum to become a hospital in-patient that night in the local dementia assessment / treatment unit. The doctors were as worried as I had been by Mum's talk of using weapons so I think Mum would have been "sectioned", if she hadn't gone in voluntarily. Mum's in the unit for at least 2 weeks to let them begin to assess her, then for whatever period may be necessary if it's possible to improve the treatment she's being given.
Questions I want to put to TPers please:-
This was a one off though potentially serious incident - to what extent should we allow it to shape Mum's future?
Any thoughts on how likely it is that Mum will be able to safely return to her own home (perhaps with an extended care package)? Our "bottom line" is that my physically frail Dad shouldn't be put at risk.
How long is Mum likely to spend at dementia assessment / treatment unit?
Mum hasn't been formally "sectioned" though I think she came very close to it. As an informal patient taken in for her own protection and that of others, what is the position if she can't safely return home? Do we get a say in where she goes after she leaves the dementia assessment / treatment unit? As she's not been formally "sectioned", is her residential care our financial responsiblity?
Any advice will be most welcome.
Background: Mum's lashed out at my Dad (her carer) on a number of occasions over about a year or so - low-level stuff like stamping on his feet, punching, pushing, etc. She's very rarely had a mild go at other people (eg my brother, sister-in-law and me).
The major event: Mum had what seemed like a full-blown paranoic episode late at night, screaming (aggressively rather than fearfully), punching and kicking out at Dad (her carer who's still recovering after a big operation). I pulled her off, indicated Dad should leave her to me and Mum and I then sat together for some time.
Mum asked whether I had a weapon, then said we could get knives and scissors to protect ourselves from Dad hurting us. I said she was perfectly safe, there was nothing to worry about and we'd just sit quietly for a bit. Mum said when your life is at risk, it's OK to hurt someone to protect yourself ... she didn't calm but went on repeatedly about the danger we were in, the unspecific threat within the house (she couldn't get downstairs to get the knives because - thankfully - it wasn't safe to leave the bedroom) and how I just didn't understand the danger but I'd learn.
I said I'd go and make us a cup of tea (praying she wouldn't follow me to where the "weapons" were more easily accessible) - but Mum didn't want me to do that because she was afraid of what would happen to me. Dad - hovering nearby - said he'd go and make us some tea; and Mum then begged him not to go because he might get hurt if he went downstairs. After more only marginally successful efforts at reassurance, Dad managed to slip away to make the tea (and get hold of the emergency dose of diazepam to slide into Mum's cup).
Even when feeling sleepy with the dose of diazepam inside her, Mum still talked about using weapons to defend herself (she picked at the cord of the dressing gown, saying she could use it to strangle someone, and she could hurt anyone attacking her by using her long toe nails).
Mum's a loving wife in a loving marriage, she's not nasty; this is an illness or medication induced paranoid-type reaction.
I called in emergency medical help early the next day. The physical health tests appear to rule out a UTI or other infection and there hasn't been any recent change in medication. Having spoken to Mum's own mental health team doctors, the GP persuaded Mum to become a hospital in-patient that night in the local dementia assessment / treatment unit. The doctors were as worried as I had been by Mum's talk of using weapons so I think Mum would have been "sectioned", if she hadn't gone in voluntarily. Mum's in the unit for at least 2 weeks to let them begin to assess her, then for whatever period may be necessary if it's possible to improve the treatment she's being given.
Questions I want to put to TPers please:-
This was a one off though potentially serious incident - to what extent should we allow it to shape Mum's future?
Any thoughts on how likely it is that Mum will be able to safely return to her own home (perhaps with an extended care package)? Our "bottom line" is that my physically frail Dad shouldn't be put at risk.
How long is Mum likely to spend at dementia assessment / treatment unit?
Mum hasn't been formally "sectioned" though I think she came very close to it. As an informal patient taken in for her own protection and that of others, what is the position if she can't safely return home? Do we get a say in where she goes after she leaves the dementia assessment / treatment unit? As she's not been formally "sectioned", is her residential care our financial responsiblity?
Any advice will be most welcome.