the next step?

concerning

Registered User
Dec 9, 2011
1
0
this is my first post. sorry if it has very obvious questions in.

my mother is 59 - she has early onset Alzheimer's. my father is retired and cares for her. she needs company and supervision at all times - for example she would not eat unless he was there to cook for her and put it in front of her.

this might sound stupid, but I'm worried about my father more. My mum's situation is awful but she is being cared for, but I know my dad must feel constricted, and alone, and frustrated, and tired, and starved of company and conversation.

Question: is there such a thing as a carer or nurse who could come and sit with my mother sometimes? and supervise her, and be trained and qualified to care for her, even for a few hours a week so my dad can get out and go shopping / walking / visit friends / see a film etc. Or some kind of centre she could stay at for a day, with people who know how to approach and handle her without her feeling threatened or abandoned.

where do I (and my father when he's ready) start looking for something like that?
 

2 young

Registered User
Sep 4, 2011
79
0
north wales
the first step would be for your father to get an assessment of his needs by the social services. this is essential for his wellbeing as the role of carer is very demanding and he needs some respite from it on a regular basis. encourage him to get in touch with the social services and ask for this. it is called a carers assessment of need. it is a simple procedure and should highlight how best your father can be helped in his role as carer but he will need to be honest about what he sort of help/respite he needs and may need your support to accept that he does in fact need help. maybe you could offer to ring social services yourself and be present during the assessment.

support can also be found through the local carers group and/or the local alzheimers group, usually easy to find but if you have difficulty the library can usually help.

the type of help and support available varies from county to county so it is difficult to be specific but i hope this helps. good luck.
 

Stewart

Registered User
Aug 13, 2007
28
0
West Midlands
Age UK do a free sitting service for 3 hours one day a week. I used this for my wife who is the same age as your Mum and it was invaluable. The lady who did it was wonderful and it provided me with a break in addition to other support that I had.

Stewart
 

Emma1980

Registered User
Dec 21, 2011
14
0
Kingston, Surrey
Hello,

My Mum is 53 and being cared for at home by her ex partner who is 75 and in poor health. They have home carers going in three times a day which helps a bit but the only time he gets a real break is when I go to visit Mum once a week for a night and day. This puts pressure on me to be there, I''m 31 and having a duty to do that each weekend is tricky. I contacted the local Admiral Nurse to discuss the case and she told me about a day centre specifically for 18-65 age group. Unfortuntaly my Mum hasn't taken to this and so he doesn't get a break in the week. But of course everyone is different and your Mum may relish the chance to make new friends and do new things. So my advice is contact your Admiral Nurse and ask about a day centre: http://alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents.php?categoryID=200121 If on the off-chance you live near Northwood in Middlesex there is a great place called the Templeton Centre. As for funding the placement, you should speak to social services or you social worker if you have one. They can come and do a care assessment and part of that can be the day centre. They can also organise home help for personal care if that is required. My Mum has 45mins each morning when the carer helps her wash and dress which gives her friend a bit of time, although of course nowhere near enough.

Good luck with things and I hope you manage to organise respite for your father.

Emma