Hello,
I am new to this today and feel quite desperate. My Dad has alzheimers and is 65. He is on aricept but is definately getting worse. It is my mum I am really frightened for. My dad is getting increasingly aggresive, which my mum has tried to hide, but she can't disguise the bruises and finally admitted yesterday to me that he hits her and pushes her over, threw a tv down the stairs and other irrational behaviour. My brother had taken my dad out so I could finally get to talk to her alone. My Dad hates my mum to go anywhere without him and stands next to her when I phone. I read the leaflet on aggression and understand he is frustrated, scared, paranoid and has a whole bunch of feelings, but when they go to the Dr's he is able to appear quite well and says everything is ok and my mum can't speak up for fear of making him angry. They run their own business from home although mum does most of the work now. He also has spoken of suicide in the past and my mum has smashed the car window in the past to stop him driving out late at night with suicidal thoughts.
I have seen him get angry and there is no reasoning with him, although I sometimes feel I can distract him if he starts to appear agitated, wheras my mum has it 24 hours a day and may sometimes agitate him by saying the wrong thing and doesn't want to worry anyone.
I have told my mum to call me if things get bad or come straight round mine as I only live 10 minutes away but I know she won't. And I now realise that she avoids me when she has bruises and tells me not to come round as they are busy.
I have told my brother and we are not sure what to do as we don't want to make things worse, although I can't see how they can get any worse. When my mum called me a few years ago in tears after he had gone off after a row, he returned 3 hours later, still angry with my mum and even angrier at her for telling me.
I was thinking of seeing if his GP would see me and I could explain things to him so next time they go the gp could suggest something that might help such as anti-depressants without mentioning my visit. Not even sure Dad would take them as he doesn't like taking any tablets due to side effects.
Sorry its so long winded, but I'm sobbing as I type, because I love my mum and Dad so much, and I am fearful I might lose them both......................
I am new to this today and feel quite desperate. My Dad has alzheimers and is 65. He is on aricept but is definately getting worse. It is my mum I am really frightened for. My dad is getting increasingly aggresive, which my mum has tried to hide, but she can't disguise the bruises and finally admitted yesterday to me that he hits her and pushes her over, threw a tv down the stairs and other irrational behaviour. My brother had taken my dad out so I could finally get to talk to her alone. My Dad hates my mum to go anywhere without him and stands next to her when I phone. I read the leaflet on aggression and understand he is frustrated, scared, paranoid and has a whole bunch of feelings, but when they go to the Dr's he is able to appear quite well and says everything is ok and my mum can't speak up for fear of making him angry. They run their own business from home although mum does most of the work now. He also has spoken of suicide in the past and my mum has smashed the car window in the past to stop him driving out late at night with suicidal thoughts.
I have seen him get angry and there is no reasoning with him, although I sometimes feel I can distract him if he starts to appear agitated, wheras my mum has it 24 hours a day and may sometimes agitate him by saying the wrong thing and doesn't want to worry anyone.
I have told my mum to call me if things get bad or come straight round mine as I only live 10 minutes away but I know she won't. And I now realise that she avoids me when she has bruises and tells me not to come round as they are busy.
I have told my brother and we are not sure what to do as we don't want to make things worse, although I can't see how they can get any worse. When my mum called me a few years ago in tears after he had gone off after a row, he returned 3 hours later, still angry with my mum and even angrier at her for telling me.
I was thinking of seeing if his GP would see me and I could explain things to him so next time they go the gp could suggest something that might help such as anti-depressants without mentioning my visit. Not even sure Dad would take them as he doesn't like taking any tablets due to side effects.
Sorry its so long winded, but I'm sobbing as I type, because I love my mum and Dad so much, and I am fearful I might lose them both......................