A big shock today: i don't know what to do

[Dazmum]

Thanks Jan, yes i will be glad to see the back of this were but 2010was worse i think! i don't know what i would do without tp though that's been one of the good things about this year for me if i was counting my pessimistic would be a big one! when is your daughters wedding? Good to have something to look forward to. Have you decided on a place for your mum? the one you mentioned the other day sounded like the one SussexSues mum is in! Hugs for you too!

 

[Redwitch]

Wedding is June 16th in Southwater.

Home not really sorted yet. Mum has assessment in January to then refer to SS. Everything else has been such a struggle not really holding out much hope. I think the only thing that will turn it round is carer breakdown, and I'm not sure that is to far away

Jan

 

[Dazmum]

I'm with you on that one Jan, but lets not make it a race, might well be a dead heat at this rate, and you have much more to deal with than I do

Well this morning has been bad already. At 6.00 my poor little Mum fell on the floor while trying to get to the loo, called me and we rushed in to find her on her front. My husband checked her over and she'd hurt her shoulder, but all moveable. Luckily he does have first aid training as he's a police officer, which is also why he deals with all our situations so calmly. Bless her, she had messed herself badly too, so then it was over to me to deal with.... I won't go into details of course. So I showered her and dressed her and got her back into a clean bed where she is now. I'm sure nothing is broken but she is very shaky and in some pain, so have the doctor coming later this morning. She keeps saying she's sorry for being a nuisance, because she wants to help me instead I'm just thankful we were here, but it does mean that we need to move things on as this isn't the first time this has happened. Our son was quite shaky about it too.

 

[turbo]

Hello Jennie, I hope your meetings go well today. I will be thinking of you and hoping that you are able to sort out something which will make life a bit easier for you all. Your comment about your son having his gran living with you for almost half his life really struck me. In a few years he may well be off to university and time just flies.


Turbo

 

[turbo]

Hello Jennie, just cross posted. Thank goodness you were all there to help your mum. Hope she is ok.


Turbo

 

[Dazmum]

Hi Turbo, yes the alternative doesn't bear thinking about

 

[ooster22]

What an awful start to the day - really hope your mum is ok.

Love
xxx

 

[Dazmum]

Thanks Ooster, she just said she thought she'd get up, so that's a good sign I suppose. I did say she couldn't though! She remembers what happened which is unusual as she has no short term memory, but I suppose the hurt shoulder is reminding her

 

[CaPattinson]

Dear jennie, how dreadful. An awful start to the day, awful. I can understand
how you feel because my mum kept falling and dad used to ring me. The
worst was when she fell in the bathroom, wedged between the toilet and wall
awful. he ambulance men had to get her out. Really awful

What a shock for you all, and your poor son, shaken, so sad, so very sad.

I hope when the doc comes he finds she's ok.

I'm sorry you're having such a bad time lately, you are in my thoughts

Hope the meeting goes well and many issues are sorted out. Take care Jennie.

 

[Dazmum]

Thank you Chris, that must have been a terrible experience for you We'll get through this together. I'm going to talk to the nh manager on the phone, as I won't be able to take mum in to see dad today. xxx

 

[ellejay]

Hi Jennie, sorry your day started so badly, Hope your mum is feeling a bit better.
Fingers crossed that something helpful comes from todays meeting.

Take care
Lin x

 

[ooster22]

Glad to hear your mum seems to be ok and fingers crossed for your meetings today.

When mum was still living at home with us (in her 'early' dementia days) she appeared one morning with a huge sticking plaster on her forehead. She said she had got up to go to the loo in the night and had whacked her head on the side of the wardrobe. I took one look under the plaster and took her straight to A&E. When they examined the HUGE hole in her forehead it was discovered that to stop the bleeding she had filled it full of cotton wool. I will never forget the nurse pulling out miles of cotton wool from the 'hole' - like a magician pulling a string of hankies out a hat! She had to have 10 stitches but thankfully the wound eventually healed ok.

At the time I asked why she hadn't called me in the night when it happened - she said she didn't want to bother me - bless her.

Love and (((hugs)))

xx

 

[Redwitch]

Oh Jennie, there was I hoping today would bring you some good news and comfort, instead, not a good start. In a way it may contribute towards the decision that you make.

I am sure your son will be ok, but a shock all the same.

Everything crossed for you

Jan

 

[Dazmum]

Oh my goodness Ooster that's terrible The doctor has just called to query how bad the pain is, and implying I should take her to A and E for an X -ray. That's going to be a nightmare having to get her dressed and out, she's so very shaky, and her chest is a bit wheezy too, so I was firm and said I wanted her to come anyway before I did that.

The other massive news is that I have spoken to the manager of my dad's nursing home, and she has three vacancies and would we like one?? My inclination is to say yes please, and to sell it to mum by saying that because of this fall she needs care for a couple of weeks because I can’t be here all the time, which is true. The stay then lengthens… just another week etc. I can still go and take her out on a Monday shopping or whatever. I know it’s awful and I feel terribly guilty but it’s like a lifeline being handed to me suddenly. My relatives all are supportive of the care route which helps too. Only thing that might screw it up is social services funding, which we need, but I'm going to talk to them today. My poor, poor mum, but I see a glimmer of light for the rest of my family in all this... is that really bad of me?? It may be that she could go for genuine respite for a couple of weeks and see how we go, and then maybe she could come back, but somehow I don't think that will happen. I'm just torn in two

 

[ooster22]

The other massive news is that I have spoken to the manager of my dad's nursing home, and she has three vacancies and would we like one?? My inclination is to say yes please, and to sell it to mum by saying that because of this fall she needs care for a couple of weeks because I can’t be here all the time, which is true. The stay then lengthens… just another week etc. I can still go and take her out on a Monday shopping or whatever. I know it’s awful and I feel terribly guilty but it’s like a lifeline being handed to me suddenly. My relatives all are supportive of the care route which helps too. Only thing that might screw it up is social services funding, which we need, but I'm going to talk to them today. My poor, poor mum, but I see a glimmer of light for the rest of my family in all this... is that really bad of me?? It may be that she could go for genuine respite for a couple of weeks and see how we go, and then maybe she could come back, but somehow I don't think that will happen. I'm just torn in two

Of course you are torn in two because you care so much. I think the call from the CH is fate. You are happy with your dad's care there, your mum and he would be reunited - it is certainly NOT bad of you to want peace of mind and time for the rest of your family. I think the call was definitely a sign - you have done such a brilliant job caring for your mum but maybe now it is the time to let someone else take over. Let her go for respite and see how it goes .......

xxxxxx

 

[Redwitch]

Of course you are torn in two because you care so much. I think the call from the CH is fate. You are happy with your dad's care there, your mum and he would be reunited - it is certainly NOT bad of you to want peace of mind and time for the rest of your family. I think the call was definitely a sign - you have done such a brilliant job caring for your mum but maybe now it is the time to let someone else take over. Let her go for respite and see how it goes .......

xxxxxx

Ooster I totally agree with you, I am a firm believer in things happening for a reason, that phone call from Dad's CH giving you the opportunity to reunite them is a good omen. Hope the meetings help you decide

Jan

 

[Dazmum]

Thank you Ooster, for your kind words. I'm a great believer in fate, always have been. It will be hard, but there's a tiny glow of light at the end of a tunnel at the moment. I've just been up to her and she was wondering why she was in bed, I must have fallen, she said, so the memory of it's fading already I hope they don't want to send her off for an X-ray, I've no idea how I will manage that at all.

 

[sussexsue]

Hi, sorry I havent posted, but things have been a bit manic here the last couple of days, particuarly as you have been so supportive to me.

It is hard to believe that over 4 weeks ago we had no outside help and I hadnt even considered full time care for mum. Now she is happily settled in a Care Home and we have all had to admit she looks happier and healthier there. I guess it was just the right time, and it sounds like it is the right time for your mum as well. I cannot tell you how it feels to know that there is someone else worrying for her and she is living in an environment so better suited to her needs. It is actually little things, that because it has big wide corridors she is walking more and her mobility has definitely improved. Plus everywhere is constantly warm.

I think the fact that your dad is there, they have vacancies and she appears to be going through such a massive downturn at the moment, that maybe it is time and everything is just falling into place. As more than one person advised me, dont let Christmas be a deciding factor.

As you know with your dad, putting your mum into Care doesnt mean you are stop caring, you just take on a different roll.

I really really hope things work out for you all.

Sue xx

 

[Dazmum]

Hi Sue, and thanks for posting, appreciate you have been really busy, hope you are now having time to relax!
Your experience has helped me a great deal and I'm so glad it has had a happy outcome. I guess I feel guilty because there are so many people here who are caring for parents or other halves and they are further on and have so much more to deal with than I do, but I guess everyone has a point that they reach when to go on is not right for anyone. Thank you for your kind and wise words, it means a great deal to me xxxx

 

[Dazmum]

Doctor has been, not one we have seen before but very nice thankfully. Doesn't think mum has broken anything but we need to go to x ray if we are still worried tomorrow. I also asked her to listen to her chest and she thinks she may also have a mild chest infection, so has prescribed antibiotics. Poor mum told her about five times that she thinks she fell on her arm