So sad this is happening to my lovely mum.. not ready for this

[princess_bear]

Hi everyone,

My mum has been diagnosed with early onset dementia, and it is progressing quite fast, according to her doctor. She is 57 and I am 28. I feel totally overwhelmed, frightened, alone. I don't feel ready to go through this, I need my mum!! I am scared about the future, what will happen, how quickly it will progress. Sometimes it doesn't even feel like she is still my mum, even though she is of course, and other times she is desperately afraid and upset, which breaks my heart.

I just wanted to reach out and ask for support. I know it's going to be tough for me and my younger sister in the years ahead and I want to try and prepare myself as much as I can. I have a lot of support in terms of friends, partner, etc, but I do feel so alone at the moment as I feel like no one understands how painful it is to watch this happen to my lovely mum. But I think people here probably do.

Hopefully in the future I can be of help and service to other people here too as I gradually learn to adapt to a new way of living and getting used to my mum as she is now.

Nikki xxxx

 

[murray548]

Hi everyone,

My mum has been diagnosed with early onset dementia, and it is progressing quite fast, according to her doctor. She is 57 and I am 28. I feel totally overwhelmed, frightened, alone. I don't feel ready to go through this, I need my mum!! I am scared about the future, what will happen, how quickly it will progress. Sometimes it doesn't even feel like she is still my mum, even though she is of course, and other times she is desperately afraid and upset, which breaks my heart.

I just wanted to reach out and ask for support. I know it's going to be tough for me and my younger sister in the years ahead and I want to try and prepare myself as much as I can. I have a lot of support in terms of friends, partner, etc, but I do feel so alone at the moment as I feel like no one understands how painful it is to watch this happen to my lovely mum. But I think people here probably do.

Hopefully in the future I can be of help and service to other people here too as I gradually learn to adapt to a new way of living and getting used to my mum as she is now.

Nikki xxxx

Hi Nikki

My wife was diagnosed when she was 52 years old (2 years ago). Her condition varies but is (just) manageable at the moment. My daughters are 27 & 24 so are in the same position as you. You need to tap in to any help you can get but always try to remember the person she was, not the person she is. Good luck

 

[Christin]

Hello Princess Bear and welcome to Talking Point.

I am so sorry to read about your mum, but pleased you have found Talking Point and I you find lots of support on here.

It is so sad, your mum is still young and of course you need her. I suspect that many, like us, found the role reversal very difficult.

Please let us know how you get on.

With very best wishes to you both xx

 

[jan.s]

Hi Nikki
How I feel for you and your family. This is such a difficult condition to work with, full of unpredictability. It is also creates great loneliness, but there are people out there you can turn to - us!! I have posted a couple of times when I have felt very down and unable to cope with my husband and received so much comfort from others. We are there for each other. It doesn't change the situation, but just being able to share feelings with others helps.
It is a shock to see someone you love and look up to change in this way, but I always try to remember that inside it is still the person I love and think back to the happy times we've shared. I try to be there for him, to support his fears.
Try to keep strong for your Mum and keep posting on TP.
Jan x

 

[Fenners]

Hi Nikki,

My heart goes out to you it really does, as does my love and support.

This forum is wonderful, full of people who really do care, and most of all they understand, they have either been there, are there, or will be there, we are totally together in this awful nightmare ... everyones journey is a different one, with different experiences but sharing these with each other really does help. Stay as strong as you can, i know thats so difficult right now, its early days for you and you are as you say overwhelmed with it all .. i was the same, its impossible to describe how it feels .. please dont feel alone, we are all here for you - yes, it is so painful to watch the person you love disappearing before your eyes, but believe me shes still your lovely Mum Nikki, really she is. You sound like a wonderful daughter. I am so sorry this is happening to your family.

I just want to send you a big hug and lots of love xx

 

[Lucy emme]

Thinking of you

Hi Nikki

I just wanted to send you my love I was 29 when my lovely Mum was sectioned but I new she had early signs of demantia for a good year or so before that.
The road ahead is hard Nikki but stay strong my mum is at times challenging and I have cried so many tears and in a way grieved for the mum I have lost even though I still have her here(if that makes sense) I feel sad at times as I feel so alone but talking point is a fantastic place to learn and get support.
Always here if you need to talk to someone.

Lucy x

 

[FiveWords]

Hi Nikki,

I am in the same boat as you. I'm 29 and my sister is 27, and our dad has dementia at the age of 60 (but has probably had it for at least 2 years and hidden it from us until more recently). My dad alternates between lucid times when you'd hardly know anything was wrong, to acute episodes of what I can only call psychosis where he thinks people are in his house trying to steal his stuff and upset him, and during which he gets very distressed. It's horrible; there's no point denying it. But the early shock does sort of ease a bit, and you'll become more able to deal with it (emotionally, I mean) as time goes by.

Does your mum have anyone else to look out for her except you and your sister? Or are you going to be going it alone like we are? Please please feel free to stay in touch and PM me if you like (you can send PMs on this forum, right? I've never tried it!). It sounds like we are in a very similar situation. Much love xxxx

 

[Poetic_Lass]

Nikki,

I am so sorry to hear of your mum's Dementia. I know it's very hard and I can identify with feeling so much like this about a year ago. In my case, it's my grandmother (she'd always been like a mother to me) and I'm 25, but her's wasn't early onset. I know you're probably thinking and feeling a lot of things right now. It almost feels like the person has left us, and I found myself looking visit to visit to see if my gran would come out (metaphorically). It's a lot to process, I know. Please know that we're here for you and that you aren't alone. If ever you need to talk, I'm here.


x