Last time I can take mum out in the car

[larivy]

Had a eye test appointment today (because Bertie ate my glasses) took mum with sil brother helped get mum in the car but boy did I struggle at the other end I have to except now. That I won't be able to take mum out any more in the car especially on my own we have drs and 2 hospital appointments next week my brother and sil go to Greece tomorrow so it will just be me and mum so it looks like it will have to be wheelchair friendly taxis
Mum is very emotional now and cries a lot no matter how I move her it seems to hurt her every day she seems worse and I am beginning to struggle emotionally as well now I have always been a tough cookie but I know I'm cracking now not physically but emotionally larivy

 

[Grannie G]

Oh heck larivy I`m not a bit surprised. If you think you might be hurting your mum when you move her it must go right through you.

I have no idea what to suggest but a wheelchair taxi seems the best compromise for the moment. xx

 

[Redwitch]

Bless

Bless you Larivy,

There is always something to kick us more when we are down. You are doing such a fantastic job... so keep your chin up

Jan xxx

 

[Helen33]

Hi Larivy,

Is there any way that the drs could visit you at home under the circumstances? Has your mum had a very recent medication review? Once Alan was placed on pain relief, his condition was reviewed constantly and his meds regularly updated accordingly.

So much has changed in the last year. One thing that has not changed and that is your devotion to your mum so it is no wonder that you feel you are cracking under the emotional pain of it all.

BIG HUG x

 

[Izzy]

Is there any way you could get ambulance transport to hospital and home visits for doc appointments? I'm sorry things are so hard. I wish I could say something to help. X

 

[DeborahBlythe]

Is there any way you could get ambulance transport to hospital and home visits for doc appointments? I'm sorry things are so hard. I wish I could say something to help. X

Very good suggestion from Izzy, Larivy. Ambulances have much better suspension than taxis. Mum wouldn't feel the bumps so much. But I expect you already know that. x

 

[piedwarbler]

My mum gets an ambulance to hospital but the downside is you are often stuck waiting a long time.
I do feel for you Larivy. I know I would want a daughter like you if I needed care. I know my mum hurts if we move her. When I moved her to a new care home recently I thought I'd never cope. I felt I was putting her through pain and I felt so guilty. But you know you have done everything possible for your mum. My mum is on a pain relief patch now and it has helped. I hope you get some help for your mum. X

 

[larivy]

When we go this time I'm going to ask if it's nessasary for us to attend any more there's no more they can do for her if there was we would carry her there if need be
I'm going to ask for pain relief for mum her skin is so thin if you touch it the wrong way it tears she has now got a bed sore on her other heel even though the district nurses have been so good
I have a feeling if mums sees Christmas we would have down well it's just so hard watching her even in the last week she has changed so much there's no more smiles I think I have already lost her

 

[BeckyJan]

I am so sorry to hear this Larivy. David has painkiller patches which seem to help with the agony he had when being turned and moved. We never used them but our local surgery do organise wheelchair friendly transport for hospital appointments.

I agree with you though. If the appointments do not result in any assistance for your Mum why put her through the trauma.

You do a wonderful job but I do understand you are in emotional turmoil right now. TP friends are behind you all the way.

 

[DeborahBlythe]

I'm really sorry you are seeing so much deterioration, Larivy. It must be so hard for you. Your mum has been dealt a rotten hand with her health problems, but she has an ace daughter, that is for sure. x

 

[Scottie45]

Dear Larivy

So sorry to read this post about your dear mum,sending you a big(((hug)) and thinking of you at this time take care Marian xx

 

[scarletpauline]

The other posters are right, you are a tremendous daughter, no-one could do more than you do.
Your mum had a lovely holiday and we know that because we saw the photos didn't we, hang on to that and remember the good times.
Sending you love as ever, Pauline xxx

 

[nellbelles]

Larivy

Well the advice given seems good, ambulance or home visits, but I suspect that you are correct that maybe most outside appointments are not now so important.

I hope that you get the pain relief sorted for Mum, there is so much available now, maybe the palliative care team could advise on this one.

I'm sorry that you think you will not be able to take Mum out by yourself, but maybe when your brother and his wife return they will enable you to take Mum out, I know how much you and Mum enjoy your time out of the house.

Like the others on TP, I hope you are (trying) to take care of yourself as well as Mum.

love and hugs

Helen x

 

[creativesarah]

much love and support
naughty bertie were you insured for your glasses ?
tough cookies are almost always soft on the inside you are a wonderful daughter
luv sarah

 

[elaine n]

Larivy, If my daughter is even half the daughter you are I'll be happy!

You're right to question whether the appointments are really necessary now and if I were you I'd insist on hospital transport by ambulance although they usually can't take carers in the ambulance too but you could follow in the car

 

[Grannie G]

Laraine, when I saw thw GP about Dhiren not attending outpatients unless it was a matter of life and death, he agreed.
He also agreed to an ambulance for transport when I told him Dhiren would be frightened in a wheelchair taxi as it made him feel sick and dizzy even when he was taken to the home 20 months ago.

 

[Dibs]

Sending love and hugs to you and your mum.
Take care Love Dibs (Deborah) xxx

 

[Contrary Mary]

Hello Larivy

I'm sorry that it appears you have reached another milestone which you would rather not have done. Mum has to go out in a wheelchair and it would be impossible to get her into a car. Here in London we have the taxicard scheme (subsidised black cabs) and also Dial-A-Ride (free minibus) which are both wheelchair friendly. I didn't have much time to look but I found on the Essex CC website something about community transport - don't know if that might be any use. Mum also now goes to only the most essential medical appointments and I have tended to use the taxicard rather than the ambulance service as from some stories I have heard regarding the wait it's nearly a day's outing

there's no more smiles

That's one I can never quite get used to, either. That feels like a downturn in itself.

Take care
Mary
x