they dont care

[dayispetmad]

has been a funny couple of weeks, no not really..every where i turn i am advised to put my mum into a lock down unit, she is very aggressive at the moment and says enough swear words to curl a vicars toes... she was in hospital and was not looked after..and was sent home with a flea in her ear....and they would not carry out blood tests even though the first one indicated possible problems with her liver, anyhow compounded by the treatment of the carers, her aggressive tendencies have grown, where as i could help her to bed with a thankyou and goodnight and a promise i was in the next room, now she is fearful and attacks me with such venom, now its not my mum its the damn illness, and i wonder if she is so far stuck in her past (some nasty things happened to her back then) plus the way she was rushed and rolled into her bedding in the morning for a wash, has made her so scared that she started to struggle with me at night, i was advised to have more carers and that made it worse and then one carer yelled at her and told her she would spit into her face, now in the process of new carers that specialize, but have had such a fight with the social workers, new meds now also, and the constant pressure to get rid, bolt the door and run, well no way doctors you might not care but i do, each day with mum at home is a blessing and i look forward to that first smile in the morning, when she has forgotten her distress the night before, dont tell me i will hate her how rude are you, others say dont feel guilty or you dont have to be a hero, none of the above, i just simply love my mum...so throw it at me i am my mothers daughter, strong willed and stubborn, i have her tenacity and caring nature, and where my mum spent her working life caring for the elderly i have spent most of mine looking after animals, we are both a little head strong and will get through this together, get yourselfs together, you so called know what your doing people and butt out unless you can actually offer the support we need, as locking poorly people up is not always the answer....if you have read this thankyou

 

[jtc]

has been a funny couple of weeks, no not really..every where i turn i am advised to put my mum into a lock down unit, she is very aggressive at the moment and says enough swear words to curl a vicars toes... she was in hospital and was not looked after..and was sent home with a flea in her ear....and they would not carry out blood tests even though the first one indicated possible problems with her liver, anyhow compounded by the treatment of the carers, her aggressive tendencies have grown, where as i could help her to bed with a thankyou and goodnight and a promise i was in the next room, now she is fearful and attacks me with such venom, now its not my mum its the damn illness, and i wonder if she is so far stuck in her past (some nasty things happened to her back then) plus the way she was rushed and rolled into her bedding in the morning for a wash, has made her so scared that she started to struggle with me at night, i was advised to have more carers and that made it worse and then one carer yelled at her and told her she would spit into her face, now in the process of new carers that specialize, but have had such a fight with the social workers, new meds now also, and the constant pressure to get rid, bolt the door and run, well no way doctors you might not care but i do, each day with mum at home is a blessing and i look forward to that first smile in the morning, when she has forgotten her distress the night before, dont tell me i will hate her how rude are you, others say dont feel guilty or you dont have to be a hero, none of the above, i just simply love my mum...so throw it at me i am my mothers daughter, strong willed and stubborn, i have her tenacity and caring nature, and where my mum spent her working life caring for the elderly i have spent most of mine looking after animals, we are both a little head strong and will get through this together, get yourselfs together, you so called know what your doing people and butt out unless you can actually offer the support we need, as locking poorly people up is not always the answer....if you have read this thankyou

Well done...it's good to vent your feelings....do what feels right for you and your mum....thats all any of us can do

 

[Grannie G]

Good for you, dayispetmad.

People are sometimes `well meaning` but most often see things from their own point of view not the others`.

I hope you manage to get your mum back to how she was before she was in hospital. I have no doubt you will in time, with your quality of care.

 

[Adnkt]

Strong willed and stubborn is good.There are good carers out there but you'll probably have to work hard to find them.I tried 4 different companies before I found the one I was happy with. I had a long discussion with the manager of each one before they started, laying out exactly how I expected my mum to be treated, and I stayed in the room with them observing what they were doing. Some of them were completely out of their depth, not fair on my mum or on the carers. I was lucky to find a company where the carers were doing the job because they wanted to care for people not just for the money, and where they had enough time to talk to mum and involve her in her care. We still had odd mornings where she was frightened and didn't want strangers undressing her but we worked around them. Stick to your guns with the social workers. Good luck

 

[Izzy]

Good luck from me too. I hope it helps to get it out of your system on TP. I know it does with me. x