Mum only home two days and it is going wrong already.

Contrary Mary

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Jun 11, 2010
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Mum was discharged from hospital on Tuesday. The consultant has stopped all her medication including the anti-depressant I managed to get the CMHT to prescribe for her after medication was stopped last year.

Mum is struggling again with food and drink. I have an appointment with the GP tomorrow. The social worker came today and did the checklist for CHC. No news of the Community Matron.

It's now back to searching for nursing homes.

I am in a very dark place at the moment..........
 

Canadian Joanne

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Apr 8, 2005
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Do you think the anti-depressant would help? If yes, I would definitely contact the consultant and her GP and whoever else you could think of to get the prescription renewed. Honestly, how they seem to arbitrarily discontinue meds is quite annoying.
 

Contrary Mary

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Jun 11, 2010
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Hello Joanne, Yes I did speak to the GP over the phone today and he has agreed that I could try the anti-depressant and one dose of metformin. I did manage to get the anti-d in this morning and will try the metformin again after dinner. Mum is still not managing a full cup of tea.

I think it is now an inescapable conclusion that Mum is going downhill quite fast and is now too much for me to look after.

Mary
x
 

Winnie Kjaer

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Aug 14, 2009
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Smoothies

Hello Mary
I am sorry to read you are struggling with your mother's intake of food and drinks.

My husband (a stroke survivor) cannot cope with tea at all. The consistency is not right for him and I have struggled for years to get him to drinks enough.

The Hospice nurse suggested pineapple juice, which he likes a lot and can cope with a very little amount at the time. What I have found works though is smoothies.

I buy the small individual ones which come with a straw attached, but my husband cannot use the straw, so I pour it in to a glass and feed him with a large teaspoon.
He drinks a whole smoothie in the mornings and has one more in the afternoon but in two lots.
He has never drank so much in the last 5 years and I am thrilled to bits. He is so much more alert now he gets his fluids so good news all around.

If your mum really likes her tea as well have you tried thickeners, you can get this prescribed by your GP. Unfortunately mine send me a prescription for 10 tins, quite large tins too, so I have enough for the next 5 years as you don't need much.

Food favourite in our house is any fruit liquidised or stewed, served with either ice cream or custard. Works every time. I do have to liquidise or dunk everything as my husbands swallow is so weak, even though it has improved immensely since he starting drinking so much more.

Hope this may help a little, best of luck, it is of course one of the issues we worry so much about.

Take care x
 

turbo

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Aug 1, 2007
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Hello Mary, I can only imagine how difficult this is for you. I know you wanted one more try at having your mum back at home with you. I am so sad for you and your mum.


turbo
 

Contrary Mary

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Jun 11, 2010
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A better day today

Well, two things to report.

After she was struggling to get her mouth open yesterday, so far today it has been better. She has been back on the anti-d's for two days and had her metformin today (the dose that the hospital consultant didn't take into account that I was giving her every evening!). Despite the hot weather and being at the day centre today (where they cannot persuade her to drink) she does seem better. Who knows why these things work or whether it is coincidence but it helps her, and therefore me. Why do consultants not take these things into consideration:(

I also looked at my first home today, part of the B**a group and was impressed. When Mum is next at the centre my cousin is coming with me to look at a couple more.

So I'm feeling better today:p
 

Kathphlox

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Dec 16, 2009
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Bolton
Jelly

If they are having difficulty drinking, I give dad jelly, he can handle that fine. He has a portion of it after his lunch every day, even if he's drinking OK :D
 

turbo

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Aug 1, 2007
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Hello Mary, good news that your mum is a little better and you sound happier too.


turbo
 

grove

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Aug 24, 2010
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North Yorkshire
Hello Mary , Just sending much Love & Support looking for a N Home for your Mum ..... not easy ! & glad you have "family back up " when you start to look at a few more ( always useful to have another persons veiw point i think )

Am pleased your Mum is drinking more & her Meds have started again


Love & Hugs Love Grove x x
 

Onlyme

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Apr 5, 2010
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UK
Hi

Would your Mum be able to lick an ice lolly or just touch with a tongue? I made some for my kids with dilute fruitjuices and a lolly stick put in it which are availablein craft shops if you get stuck. It might work in this heat.
 

Contrary Mary

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Jun 11, 2010
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Sorry I'm late acknowledging all your posts but I also have a very dodgy broadband connection to contend with, and no time to think about getting it sorted:(

When Mum can eat and drink there is no real problem and she will put away everything I give her (although it takes absolutely ages and has to be pureed). However, it is when she cannot open her mouth that is the problem. I don't know anyone else with this problem and I think that the only person I can remember on TP with what sounded like the same was Nan's Brian shortly before he died. When food is offered the response seems to be that they want to eat but the mouth just will not open. I have resorted to placing food on her mouth so that she licks it.

I saw the GP yesterday and there doesn't seem to be any way to deal with this at home, and of course the problem is that she would dehydrate before the mouth "unfreezes".

Like many here on TP we have to count our blessings on the good days and do our best to live with the bad days.

Mary
x
 

sarafina

Registered User
Sep 28, 2009
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antidepressants

My Mum is 89 and has dementia, I am a psychiatric nurse myself and now look after her full time. I work closely with my GP and he will discuss with me my requests for medication, when she stopped eating, I got her put on Mirtazapine 15mgs not for the antidepressant benefits, but for the appetite stimulant effect it has.
Her appetite is back again and she has gained weight, I also use Oxazepam for her anxiety as much as 40 mgs a day, when need be, but firmly refuse for her to be put on any anti psychotics . I keep an eye on her urine, for infection and she gets optimal care both physically and mentally, however I still feel stretched to breaking point at times and have shouted at her. I have started to remove myself from a situation till I am calmer and more able to deal with her behaviour and my emotions. But it's not easy, it's bloody hard and I so wish I had her back , but am determined to care for her at home, everyday if I cannot shower her, she has a strip wash and clean fresh clothes on. I always put her earrings in, lippy on and powder her nose. We go out every couple of days, sometimes I have to drag her to the car, but once in it she loves being out and we clip the wheel chair to a trolley and do the shopping and always have a sticky bun and a cuppa. I have extended family, but I am the main carer. Anyone wanting to share with me or looking for advise, would be happy to do so. :)
 

BeckyJan

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Nov 28, 2005
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Derbyshire
Hello welshlassie:

I will send a private message explaining how to do this. To locate the message go to the top band on this page, see notifications and a drop down will show inbox.

It can be helpful to type up your message in Word firstly and then copy and paste to your Thread.

Best wishes