I'm back!

[Kriss]

Well its been a few years - probably 5 - since I was last here and I admit I never wanted to return (no reflection on the wonderful people who I shared so much with at the time, just a need to escape the hell of dementia). But here I am again and it looks like this will be yet a different experience to the first with my Dad and then with my Aunt. Now its my Mum

Mum is 85 - that's the first significant difference. She has always been in good physical health apart from reduced mobility following a broken hip several years ago. Her mental state has deteriorated in what seems to be a matter of weeks with no apparent TIA's which were noticable with my Aunt and Dad to a lesser degree. She can no longer operate the tv remote (apart from turning the volume up to 99 - did you know it could go that high!), is struggling to process the simplest of tasks - selecting clothes, putting them on, making a cuppa, showering etc. Has had a couple of "accidents" the last couple of days - I returned from work tonight to find her naked from the waist down having got wet and having stripped off then oblivious to the need to dress again.

The good news is that she lives with us in her own annexe so we are able to monitor and help as needed. I work but my husband is great with making sure she eats, drinks and is safe though is understandably a bit bothered by the sudden decline and the chance he could walk in on her in a state of undress (hes coped with the "superman" syndrome of her wearing her knickers over her trousers so far but not sure how he'll cope with the next step).

I spoke to her doctor a few weeks ago as she has been undergoing tests for what now appears to be a cyst on her pancreas and he didn't want to consider the memory issues at the time as he wanted to deal with the lump first. I have one hope that I am clinging to at the moment and that is that as she is also waiting for further investigations on her bladder (there was pain and bleeding a few weeks ago) that this or the cyst may be having an effect - I recall water infections could cause problems with apparent mental issues? We have to wait till a week on Monday for the next hospital visit to check her bladder.

So what to do now? Wait or drag her to the docs this week (she hates the place and doesn't like taking tablets, always preferred self help to intervention and hasn't done badly to get to 85 relatively fit).

I desperately want to put it off and maybe just bury my head in the sand at least for the next 12 days, but something tells me I won't be able to.

Can anyone offer any experience of related health issues and what effect they had?

 

[BeckyJan]

Hello Kriss:
Its sad you need to be back but still good to see you here.

I am sorry about your Mum. If she has bladder problems and a cyst on her pancreas I cannot help but wonder if these are contributing to her downturn in mental health.

I think you and your husband are doing an excellent job in caring and wish I could contribute more.


Best wishes

 

[sussexsue]

Hi Kriss

3rd time, you must be so upset.

I would be very tempted to get your mum to the docs or at least get a sample of urine tested. An undetected UTI can have such instant and devastating affects on the elderly, especially those with dementia, that it would be good to get it checked out and treated as soon as possible with ABs. I dont think you can really wait a week.

Sue

 

[thatwoman]

Hi Kriss,

I hope that it could be the bladder problems. UTIs do have a habit of making people more confused, and antibiotics can be quite magic! That said, I suspect there may be an underlying problem here, so you will possibly have to face that soon, but try to get a urine sample first. Could you ring your GP and ask if you could get a sample tested? Or they may even be prepared to prescribe some ABs on the chance that it was probably an infection? My GP did that when Dad was very uncooperative.

I'm so sorry that you've had to return to us, but glad that you know you'll be among friends if the worst comes to the worst!

Love and hugs,

Sue xxx

 

[Kriss]

Thank you everyone - when the bleeding/pain symptoms appeared initially, she had urine and blood tests while waiting for a referral to a Oncologist so I doubt it is a UTI but her next appointment is for an exploratory procedure on her bladder so I am thinking it could be related to that. Meanwhile there is also the lump which originally felt like it was on her kidney but the scan showed it to be attached probably to the pancreas and who knows what effect that may have? The specialist said he would take advice on it as its not his area of expertise so when she returns for the bladder procedure we may find out more.

 

[Tender Face]

Dear Kriss – I remember you (and your wonderful support for me) so well. Still here – different ‘guise’ for the most part but I see a ‘familiar name’ pop up can’t help but check out what is happening with them.

In between times I lost mum to cancer (with the most frightening rapid decline in her dementia over just a few months towards the end) ... and at one point she had seven individual consultants (including the psycho-geriatrician) who seemed unable to communicate with each other. It was her wonderful GP who looked at the situation holistically.... what interventions might mean ... how to keep ‘quality of life’ at the forefront ....

Just from my experience ... would ask medics don’t treat a ‘lump’ – or any other problem or symptom - in isolation, but please look at the whole ....

So sorry you’re back – but not, if you know what I mean .....

Much love, Karen, x

 

[DeborahBlythe]

Really sorry to hear about the problems with your mum, Kriss. I think I'm inclined to agree with the two Sues, (thatwoman and Sussexsue) and just get your mum's's urine tested again for a possible UTI. Sometimes it's the simplest thing that gets overlooked.
Sorry I can't be more help and I hope that your mum is as comfortable as possible.

 

[Kriss]

Hi Karen - yes I remember you too. I haven't yet had the courage to track back to see what has happened to everyone while I've been missing. Sad to hear you "lost" your Mum but then again we all know we lose them a long time before the end comes. Sound advice to treat the whole - I have taken that on board and will use it.

last 2 days have been a bit better (coincidental that I was not at work?)

 

[Kriss]

It is only a matter of weeks since the original urine and blood tests and she was given antibiotics as a precaution anyway so it wouldn't appear to be a UTI

another good day today (so far) dare I say