on duty 24 hours a day!

[Jo1958]

Elaine, hi
So glad you have a social event to look forward to and a cousin you can visit easily, great!

I've sewn 14 name tags on to pairs of knickers today, not a bad start and only lots and lots more to do, oola respite! I am still at the stage of matching the cotton colour to the garment, bets on how long that will last .....

I hope you have a good night and a nice day tomorrow, thinking of you and sending best wishes from Jo

 

[elaine n]

When gary went into the assessment centre they used a laundry pen on the labels on his clothes Jo, much quicker and easier I think. I thought I was a bit of an anorak about matching colours but think I'd have used whichever colour thread came to hand for that task!

Now Larivy! I can't imagine why[Iyou should think I've got a thing about bags!

 

[Grannie G]

Hello Elaine

All credit to you. You sound as if you are trying really hard to make the best of things.

 

[elaine n]

I'm trying Sylvia, I'm ok when I don't see him now, just as long as I don't let myself think or wonder or imagine....
I honestly don't think he gets any comfort from me being there after the initial being pleased to see me and wonder if it just disrupts his day at the moment

 

[creativesarah]

You an anorak Elaine I dont think so !

 

[elaine n]

I rang the assessment unit this afternoon and spoke to Gary's nurse. They don't seem to be making much progress with him at all, today he picked up a news paper, rolled it up and tried to hit a female patient in the face so they had to intervene. He's now on 15 minute observations instead of level 3 (someone with him at all times) and they say he's more relaxed because of that but is still unco operative with the staff. His risperidone has been reduced a little because he'se leaning to one side but it's too early to tell what effect that will have. I'm beginning to despair of ever seeing any improvement. The unit is busy with lots of people moving around and noisy, not ideal conditions for anyone with dementia but I know they can't change that, they're treating so many people at the moment. I wish I could bring him home where it's quiet and relatively peaceful and have him monitored here but I know that's not possible

 

[muse]

Hi Elaine

It's so bloody hard to see our loved ones so changed. And to accept that they're now safe, but by no means comfortable. Due to what's going on in their minds, we have no chance of getting it right or doing better than professional carers. We would just end up sick ourselves for trying.

What I had to learn to accept was that my hubby wasn't comfortable at home either. He was, and still is, embarrassed about incontinence, and can cope with this aspect better with strangers than with me. There are some aspects which I wouldn't be able to cope with at home, but which he seems to accept from the professonals.

I just wish you ooodles of strength and hope that you're using this time to look after yourself, whatever the outcome. I know you've already applied oodles of strength... and there can't be much left there. You must be so mentally and emotionally exhausted. But hang in there, and keep posting. I also know that you're a survivor. Together, we're invincible http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZ4QshsTE3U I can't understamd half the words, but I understand the message and love the harmonies.

 

[larivy]

Glad you know it's not possible it's still early days mum is on risperidone and it took at least a week to work so hang in there slow but sure is the way to go thinking of you both love larivy

 

[creativesarah]

wise words from muse sorry its been a difficult day hope tomorrow is a bit better luv sarah

 

[Grannie G]

It takes a long time to get the drugs right Elaine so it`s still early days.

I hated Dhiren being in the assessment unit. Nothing was conducive to his comfort. The consultant admitted it was not ideal but said `Its the best we have.`

Once Dhiren was home on a trial period, a member of the mental health team took us to a Dementia cafe. One of the nurses from the unit passed through and we were all amazed when Dhiren greeted her like a long lost friend.

So hold tight Elaine. miracles can happen.

 

[elaine n]

How long was Dhiren in the unit Sylvia? They're telling me it could well be more that 6 weeks now

 

[Grannie G]

Dhiren was in for 3 weeks Elaine but he was admitted immediately after one act of violence because I was frightened for my own safety. You tolerated more than I did.

I have to admit we brought him home before the unit wanted to discharge him because we couldn`t stand it. He was allowed home on a week`s trial and his bed was kept for him.

Once home he had the services of the Mental Health Team with a psychiatric nurse spending an afternoon a week trying to rehabilitate him and monitor the drugs. We were then allocated a CPN who visited every two weeks.

 

[elaine n]

Ok, thanks Sylvia
I don't think I could manage that at the moment, I think I'd still have to lock Gary in. I'd like to think Gary would be more settled at home but the reality is he'd be trying to get out because that behaviour hasn't changed and he's still lashing out at staff, although I think that's because he doesn't understand that they're trying to help him

 

[Grannie G]

Gary didn`t understand that you were trying to help him either Elaine, as Dhiren didn`t understand with me.

 

[elaine n]

You're right Sylvia of course, it's a good thing I've got someone to keep me on track. I keep trying to work out if I could do anything at home to make things better or different. Now the house is calm and peaceful I think I tend to push all the bad bits that happened to the back of my mind

 

[Grannie G]

I think I tend to push all the bad bits that happened to the back of my mind

It`s what I do now Dhiren is in the home. It takes reality checks like yours to remind me of what was.

 

[creativesarah]

morning elaine "my lovely"
oh thoose west country sounds are very cheering
Glad Granny G is dispensing wisdom as usual
thinking of you both today
Love Sarah

 

[DeborahBlythe]

No wise words from me, Elaine, just loads and loads of sympathy,
Try to do something nice for yourself today, won't you? x

 

[sonia owen]

Elaine

Hi Mrs,

Sarah is becoming a right Somerst woman, she will be drinking the cider next theres a thought eh

Good advice being given and you really know yourself that Gary has to stay there, for his own good and your's. Its that oh such a wonderful word again Time, and letting the tablets get into his body.

How could you sneak into Weston without me knowing you naughty girl. Hope you stopped for a coffee in the mill. Its alway so busy in there. I could spent ages in there, just looking and not buying. Hope you had time to nip into the Range. You really could spend the day there well nearly.

Try and have a peaceful holiday weekend. Lets hope it won't be too long before we hear that Gary is making an inprovement in mind abd body. The only has to be upwards.

Love and hugs
Sonia and licks from Ash xxxx

 

[Jo1958]

Elaine, hi
Thinking of you and sending strength and support, in a virtual way as only we can!

I'm still sewing labels but took a break this afternoon for a meeting with Nocturne for a long chat, cup of earl grey and a good hill walk, she is such good company and the rain kept off, almost!

Take good care of yourself, with best wishes from Jo