That's my dads shirt !

[CYN]

When my husband was going to another home they had packed his case before i got there so i checked it against my list and some things were missing and some were not his. i left them the list they said they would check the laundry when i had left. well the clothes never turned up and i sent a bill for them and they did pay up. I think that their insurance would cover this.

Cyn

 

[sueorbell]

Reply to Thats My Dad's Shirt

What an interesting topic. Thank you for bringing it for discussion. My sister and I have decided that unless Mum is wearing something that is unsafe (and not hers) we will not make a fuss. If she's content at this stage that is all that matters. We have reached this point after nearly a year of care home experience.

 

[Padraig]

I know how you feel. I was often losing my cool at staff in the 'home' where my wife was. Though all her cloths had her name sewed on they still dressed her in other peoples cloths. The day I took her home for good, she was wearing another persons socks with the persons name emblazoned across the toes!

 

[Chris Edgerton]

… but. I do know there are good social care work out there somewhere ..

Welcome to the world of residential care in EMI dementia homes.

Organisation like the Alzheimer’s Society … talk, professional standards bodies – Care Quality Commission … well they are improving, Social workers … it’s only the one off, latest Government ideas like Dignity In Care … if we place our loved one in care, WHY the need for another government dictate, surely the social care workers should be doing a good job in the first place, well?

And don’t worry to much about clothes, it’s when the social care worker and there mangers put the wrong prescription glasses on that you need to be more concerned.

You could try putting name tags on clothes; have the false teeth marked by the dental optician; have name/initials engraved on glasses – it makes no difference … …

 

[weemam]

My Dads shirt

I think this is the first time I have replied to anyone's post .
My mam and dad were both in care for Alzheimer's ( 2 years ago). I had cared for them both for over six years , Mam passed away after only a few weeks . I had worried myself sick over things not being hers .
dad was really ill when she passed away and we thought we were going to loose him too .
I realized then that "things " weren't important . I now buy all his clothes from M&S outlet and factory outlets . really smart good and easily washed but not costing a fortune . Dad loves to hand out sweets so we buy him them every week too .
We are lucky to have him in a care home where they are all fond of him and he is well looked after . They are short staffed and don't always have the time to look for missing things .
What I am trying to say is , he is happy and that is all that matters . So buy clothes that are not a worry and don't buy expensive things you will worry about . better to be able to relax when you visit and your time can be spent caring and not worrying

Life is too short xx .

 

[Margaret W]

I got really cross over my mum's clothes, cos mum was very small, and she liked knee-length skirts. I bought clothes in her style and spent hours sewing them to the right length for her. Trousers too. Only to find they disappeared, and she'd be dressed in a skirt far too long for her preference, and trousers that had to be turned over three times to stop her tripping up.

I didn't even like my mum, but I spend those hours sewing clothes for her cos my dad would have wanted me to. And then the bloody things went walk-about.

I bought her turtle neck jumpers cos she always hated the look of her neck. They disappeared. I bought her acrylic cardigans cos she was allergic to wool. I found her wearing woollen cardigans and her skin red raw. Nobody bothered, only me.

All these things might seem to be quite minor in importance, but in fact are not.

If my little mum were still alive, I'd be running a campaign right now.

I hope you all get your rellies sorted okay.

Love

Margaret

 

[Annie56]

Clothes and 'stuff'

I do know how you feel but agree that you need to focus on the quality of care your loved one is receiving. My mum won't visit my dad much but when she does she is always worried that he has food down his front and wants them to put a bib on him, and change his clothes. My feeling is that eating is one of the few things he can still do independently so who cares if he spills stuff. I've resorted to charity shops for his clothes, and label everything with Cash's labels. I found buying and sewing them on infinitely sad because its what you do for your excited youngsters going to school, not for your poor father. Does anyone else have the same problem as I have with mum not wanting to visit dad? As long as I visit him every day she is happy, but I'm lucky if she'll come with me once a week. As I work full-time it is difficult to fit everything in.