Mum is now receiving morphine via a syringe drive. We've had an up and down week and it got to the point on Tuesday where I could no longer give her anything by mouth because she chokes. She's looked exhausted for weeks and every morning I expected to get up and find her gone.She's been on morphine for 36 hours and has spent most of that time with her eyes wide open staring out of the window. I know it's probably just the drug that's relaxing her but she looks so much more awake than she has done for weeks and I can't give her a drink. She hasn't had a drink for over 2 days now, is not distressed or in pain. I know we've done the right thing but I feel like we've made an end of life decision and she isn't ready to go.
End of life
- Thread starter Adnkt
- Start date
I am so sorry Adnkt. It must be very distressing watching and waiting. I am know this situation is around the corner for me with my husband and I dread it.
Thankfully your Mum is painfree and peaceful and that is what we all wish for our loved ones.
Take care
Thankfully your Mum is painfree and peaceful and that is what we all wish for our loved ones.
Take care
Such a sad time for you. Your mum may be ready to let go but her body takes time to 'shut down'. It must be comforting that she is not in pain. I hope that your mum is as comfortable as possible and that you do not take on the unnecessary extra worry of wondering if you could have done something different. I wonder if you could moisten her lips with a sponge from time to time.
xxTinaT
xxTinaT
I'm so sorry for you and your mum. We just went through this and my mum passed away on 13th July. We were using special little sponges the nurses brought for moistening her lips. I was also able to get her to take some ice cream then she couldn't even take that. It's awful to watch. My heart goes out to you both. x
Hello Adnkt,
I've recently been through this with my mum too - and she seemed to have a similar reaction to the drugs - wide awake and staring (but not communicative) when she'd been so very drowsy or sleeping for some weeks.
I guess everybody reacts differently to morphine - but maybe someone can explain that? I also believe that if there was something that could be done medically to mend your mum that the doctor wouldn't be giving the morphine - but sometimes nothing more can be done. I do understand your disquiet at her changed demeanour - it does make you question whether she could improve - but I suspect in your heart you know she couldn't. Letting go is very, very hard.
I do hope that your mum remains peaceful and pain free - and that you are managing yourself at this difficult time. It truly is a very unreal time, but somehow you will cope.
Thinking of your mum, you, and all your family. xxx
I've recently been through this with my mum too - and she seemed to have a similar reaction to the drugs - wide awake and staring (but not communicative) when she'd been so very drowsy or sleeping for some weeks.
I guess everybody reacts differently to morphine - but maybe someone can explain that? I also believe that if there was something that could be done medically to mend your mum that the doctor wouldn't be giving the morphine - but sometimes nothing more can be done. I do understand your disquiet at her changed demeanour - it does make you question whether she could improve - but I suspect in your heart you know she couldn't. Letting go is very, very hard.
I do hope that your mum remains peaceful and pain free - and that you are managing yourself at this difficult time. It truly is a very unreal time, but somehow you will cope.
Thinking of your mum, you, and all your family. xxx
I am thinking of you Adnkt. This is just around the corner for us with dad. He can still swallow, just. Such a hard time.
Thank you. This is the only place where we can ask questions and get straight forward answers from people who know what they're talking about and your answers have made me feel much better. I'm still sitting with mum. We're in to day 5 now without fluids and she still seems strong but very peaceful. We're listening to Jim Reeves, not my taste but I'm sure she approves.
cathy
cathy
We ended up watching "The King's Speech" with Mum (well, I don't know what she took in) whilst she was in her eyes wide open stage - because she hadn't been able to get to the cinema and had really wanted to see it. Odd the things you do whilst in the twilight zone - but it seemed a suitable thing to do at the time.
Thinking of your mum, you and your family - just do whatever you feel is right, you'll be glad you did later.
Best wishes & strength to you all xxx
Thinking of your mum, you and your family - just do whatever you feel is right, you'll be glad you did later.
Best wishes & strength to you all xxx
It's been a week now that mum has had no fluids or food, just morphine. Apparantly a fit and healthy person can live between 3 and 5 days without fluid but my frail little mother is now beginning day 8 and no signs of giving up yet. I feel like I'm in a Monty Python sketch and my husband thinks she must be running on hidden batteries somewhere. Our humour gets darker by the hour but I've decided now that whatever we feel is ok, even if it seems ireverant to outsiders.
Hi Adnkt, My heart goes out to you and your family. You know the end is near but it's so hard to deal with. Just be there and know that you've done everything that you could possibly do for her.
It's such an emotional time for you all but hopefully it will be very peaceful.
Thinking of you all. Take care xxxx
It's such an emotional time for you all but hopefully it will be very peaceful.
Thinking of you all. Take care xxxx
Hi
We are going through exactly the same with Dad. He was taken to hospital on Sunday afternoon from his care home, turned out he developed sepsis after developing a second UTI. I was told his kidneys were failing, blood pressure was continually dropping despite IV fluids. In the middle of the night, Sunday/Monday we stopped treatment as they could no longer get IV access. Dad was moved back to his care home last night. And now we too watch and wait. He has been 2 days without fluid, 3 without food. He is not yet needing any of the 'Just in case' medications but is also peaceful and pain free, just fading away. I don't know whether it helps at all to know someone else is in the same place as you at the same time, all we can do is be strong and content that we have done all we can to make the situation the best we can.
Take care
mumofthree
x
We are going through exactly the same with Dad. He was taken to hospital on Sunday afternoon from his care home, turned out he developed sepsis after developing a second UTI. I was told his kidneys were failing, blood pressure was continually dropping despite IV fluids. In the middle of the night, Sunday/Monday we stopped treatment as they could no longer get IV access. Dad was moved back to his care home last night. And now we too watch and wait. He has been 2 days without fluid, 3 without food. He is not yet needing any of the 'Just in case' medications but is also peaceful and pain free, just fading away. I don't know whether it helps at all to know someone else is in the same place as you at the same time, all we can do is be strong and content that we have done all we can to make the situation the best we can.
Take care
mumofthree
x
I know exactly how you feel. I was told on 27th June that my mum was 'slipping away'. She died on 13th July. I couldn't believe how long she held on. Thinking of you as I know how you must feel. x
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Mum died on Wednesday afternoon. I felt relief for all of us, including mum but also because I thought that would be the end of my family problems. I have posted here before about the trouble my sister has caused over the months.On Thursday my husband told her that I needed a break now and he wanted her to organise the funeral.I found out by chance tonight, from one of mum's neighbours, that the funeral is on Thursday. I haven't been told any arrangements or whether there will be a car for me, my husband and children. Why does this kind of behaviour make some people happy?
Adnkt, I am so sorry for your loss and for the heartbreak you have been going through. take care and think to yourself that the time was right xxx
Dear Adnkt,
I'm sorry to hear your news about your mum, but so glad that she was peaceful.
I do hope that your sister will perhaps be able to put your mum first in the funeral arrangements - and that she realises that is who the funeral is about, not point scoring within the family.
You know you did all you could for your mum when she needed it most - I hope that will allow you to feel peace in your heart.
Thinking about your mum, and you and your family. xxx
I'm sorry to hear your news about your mum, but so glad that she was peaceful.
I do hope that your sister will perhaps be able to put your mum first in the funeral arrangements - and that she realises that is who the funeral is about, not point scoring within the family.
You know you did all you could for your mum when she needed it most - I hope that will allow you to feel peace in your heart.
Thinking about your mum, and you and your family. xxx
