Hi, am new to the forum but hope I can make some contacts. My mum was recently diagnosed with Alzheimers and I am her only support but live 50 miles away. She has no social network where she lives and I don't know the area either. I can only get down there once or twice a month and I just don't know where to start!
New girl
- Thread starter lillibet
- Start date
Hello lillibet and welcome to Talking Point (TP).
I am sorry to hear about your Mother. I suggest you start by ringing the nearest branch (to your Mother) of the local Alzheimer's Society. If you click onto the main Society's website you should be able to search local branch - look across the line at the top of this page.
They should be able to direct you to the local support services. There have been a lot of cut backs but you may find the Alzheimers Society, Age UK, Crossroads or Admiral Nurses will have some services to help your Mother. I also suggest you ring a Social Worker in the area explaining her isolation - they may be able to offer Day Care but this comes at a cost.
I hope that helps. Please keep in touch as you will find others have similar problems to your own.
Best wishes
I am sorry to hear about your Mother. I suggest you start by ringing the nearest branch (to your Mother) of the local Alzheimer's Society. If you click onto the main Society's website you should be able to search local branch - look across the line at the top of this page.
They should be able to direct you to the local support services. There have been a lot of cut backs but you may find the Alzheimers Society, Age UK, Crossroads or Admiral Nurses will have some services to help your Mother. I also suggest you ring a Social Worker in the area explaining her isolation - they may be able to offer Day Care but this comes at a cost.
I hope that helps. Please keep in touch as you will find others have similar problems to your own.
Best wishes
Hi Lillibet and welcome,
You'll certainly find lots of help on here.
Reading other's threads will give you some insight into what to expect and there is so much advice.
What BeckyJan suggests is good. If you can get your Mum used to having someone call on her regularly, like an Admiral Nurse or a Crossroads Carer, it will help later when she may need more help.
It's always good to alert Social Services in her area as they can regularly assess her level of risk and it will help put your mind at rest that someone else is involved in her care.
Do you have no family at all in her area or old friends who would look in on her just occasionally? Sorry, I know you say she has no social network. Has she only recently moved there?
Maggie
You'll certainly find lots of help on here.
Reading other's threads will give you some insight into what to expect and there is so much advice.
What BeckyJan suggests is good. If you can get your Mum used to having someone call on her regularly, like an Admiral Nurse or a Crossroads Carer, it will help later when she may need more help.
It's always good to alert Social Services in her area as they can regularly assess her level of risk and it will help put your mind at rest that someone else is involved in her care.
Do you have no family at all in her area or old friends who would look in on her just occasionally? Sorry, I know you say she has no social network. Has she only recently moved there?
Maggie
Thanks
Thanks for the responses. Yes she has recently moved there and doesn't know anyone. Or the local area. She has been seen by social services who assessed her as moderate need and were therefore unable to provide anything. I have looked to see what Alzheimers Society provides in her area, but I know she won't agree to go to any 'clubs' because I've tried to get her interested before and she refused. Other day services only seem to be available via social services. To be honest I can understand her anxiety - she is becoming increasingly confused and it must be very difficult when in a strange area as you have no 'landmarks' from past experience to orient to. She also has medical problems which make her reluctant to go out on her own as she is afraid of falling. So I have to admit when I said I don't know where to start that's not quite true - I just feel like I'm going round in circles!
Thanks for the responses. Yes she has recently moved there and doesn't know anyone. Or the local area. She has been seen by social services who assessed her as moderate need and were therefore unable to provide anything. I have looked to see what Alzheimers Society provides in her area, but I know she won't agree to go to any 'clubs' because I've tried to get her interested before and she refused. Other day services only seem to be available via social services. To be honest I can understand her anxiety - she is becoming increasingly confused and it must be very difficult when in a strange area as you have no 'landmarks' from past experience to orient to. She also has medical problems which make her reluctant to go out on her own as she is afraid of falling. So I have to admit when I said I don't know where to start that's not quite true - I just feel like I'm going round in circles!
Hi
I too am new to this forum but I can honestly say that what I have learned in the past few days has been that the people in this place are so supportive, kind, helpful and understanding. you will gain lots of knowledge regarding this awful condition and how others get through it.
Sending hugs of support to you,
Linda x
I too am new to this forum but I can honestly say that what I have learned in the past few days has been that the people in this place are so supportive, kind, helpful and understanding. you will gain lots of knowledge regarding this awful condition and how others get through it.
Sending hugs of support to you,
Linda x
Hello again lillibet:
I understand your Mum's reluctance to go to Day Centre as my husband also hated them, although he did give it a try.
It may be worth you pestering Social Services again and ask about a sitter. Again my husband objected violently but we did eventually employ a 'cleaner' - well it was a friend who was happy to do jobs around the house to get him used to the idea. Eventually I employed a Nurse for 6 hrs each week - she was lively and made him smile.
Try to find out if Age UK, Crossroads or Admiral Nurses are in the area. They may still provide some sitting or befriending service.
You may have to persuade your Mum by some means. Would she react to you saying it will make you feel less anxious about her?
I do hope you can find some solution.
I understand your Mum's reluctance to go to Day Centre as my husband also hated them, although he did give it a try.
It may be worth you pestering Social Services again and ask about a sitter. Again my husband objected violently but we did eventually employ a 'cleaner' - well it was a friend who was happy to do jobs around the house to get him used to the idea. Eventually I employed a Nurse for 6 hrs each week - she was lively and made him smile.
Try to find out if Age UK, Crossroads or Admiral Nurses are in the area. They may still provide some sitting or befriending service.
You may have to persuade your Mum by some means. Would she react to you saying it will make you feel less anxious about her?
I do hope you can find some solution.
Thanks again
Thanks again for the responses.
My mother has always been extremely stubborn and not inclined to listen to anything I have said to her! My main worry @ the moment is that she will get lost whilst she is out. I am trying to get her to carry a small notebook with her and luckily she uses a regular taxi and the drivers are getting to know her, so at least they know where to return her to.
My step mother also died with Alzheimers early this year but she was in Canada, and was taken into residential care as soon as she was diagnosed. The system over there is very different. I have a lot of prof experience of the disease as I was a mental health nurse, but don't know mum's local area and everything seems to be so fragmented these days. But thanks for all the responses, I just feel so alone with all this and being @ such a distance from her makes things very difficult
Thanks again for the responses.
My mother has always been extremely stubborn and not inclined to listen to anything I have said to her! My main worry @ the moment is that she will get lost whilst she is out. I am trying to get her to carry a small notebook with her and luckily she uses a regular taxi and the drivers are getting to know her, so at least they know where to return her to.
My step mother also died with Alzheimers early this year but she was in Canada, and was taken into residential care as soon as she was diagnosed. The system over there is very different. I have a lot of prof experience of the disease as I was a mental health nurse, but don't know mum's local area and everything seems to be so fragmented these days. But thanks for all the responses, I just feel so alone with all this and being @ such a distance from her makes things very difficult
