Hello all.
After quite a long battle, my mother has finally been diagnosed with a form of dementia. It's been soul destroying and so upsetting to watch her struggle and decline in health.
From the point of her diagnosis, she and my step father have had carers visiting their home at least twice a day, as well as my step sisters visiting everyday also to ensure that all is well etc.
Thankfully, most of the time, Mum was quite happy and I could still make her smile and laugh when I visited her (I live away from the area that she lives), and I do my best to 'keep my chin up' when I see her.
Put simply, I have a sister who is not a very nice person. She has upset pretty much the entire family over the years to the extent that she has estranged herself from us all. Mum kept in contact with her however, and even up to quite recently, my sister would upset her and offer emotional blackmail to Mum relating to access to her grand children etc. She has taken advantage of her and has sought monies from her using some quite dubious excuses.
Approximately two months ago, Mum had an issue with one of her legs (ongoing medical condition). At that time, she was living with my step father, who is elderly, very loving towards my Mum and admittedly is starting to struggle on some things at home.
My step Dad took Mum to the local hospital, where she received care for her leg.
On one occasion, during a follow up visit, she went to the hospital with my sister. Whilist there, social services attended (pre-arranged, apparently) at the request of my sister.
Mum was removed from the hospital by them and placed into the care of my sister at her home address.
My step Dad and family were given basic information by social services and were allegedly told by a particular social worker that they would not disclose the location of my Mum.
I was on holiday in the UK at this time (first holiday in several years!) and received a panicked phone call from my step sister telling me that Mum had been taken into care and that they couldn't find anything out, along with the fact that the social worker in question would not disclose 'anything' to them as they, "...weren't family."
As such, I obtained a phone number for the social worker and immediately made contact with them. They were not even aware that I existed! I asked what had happened, and was told that they , "...had concerns", about Mums welfare and that they had put her into a place of safety.
I expressed MY concerns that my step family (for over twenty years!) had not been told anything, to which they denied all knowledge of that and that my Mum being with my sister was most definately NOT a place of safety and was in no way suitable.
Essentially, the more I have listened to the social workers reasons etc since that time, the more I am convinced that they acted incorrectly.
No investigation was carried out by them prior to Mum being moved, no opinions from the home care workers and doctors were sought, and it has been proven that some of the 'concerns' expressed by my sister were very simply lies, to which social services have finally acknowledged. In other words, there was no justification for Mum being removed from her home of 20+ years.
This whole incident has caused a massive amount of upset and distress. My step father has been beside himself and cannot understand why this has happened. Mums health has declined dramatically (she is in a lovely home at the moment near to my step father, by the way which is one bonus).
I have been pushing to have a meeting with the social worker who instigated all of this, to discuss why this has happened and to plan for Mums long term future care.
To be honest, she has come up with various excuses causing delays for a meeting.
I now finally have a meeting arranged for this Thursday (04/08), which was made at short notice by them.
I know what I would like to ask and have researched as much as possible to try to ensure that social services do not 'brush over' their potential errors/mistakes etc, but I am now concerned that I may miss something.
I must point out that I am NOT looking at suing them or for monetry gain etc, and am purely pursuing this to ensure correct and proper care for my Mum in the future and to hold them to account for their mistakes so that this does not happen to anybody else.
Would it please be possible for somebody to give me some 'pointers' as to what would be appropriate to ask and what to expect?
What should I be aware of in case social services attempt to 'baffle me' with jargon etc?
Any input would be most appreciated.
Thank you in advance & kind regards.
Duncan.
After quite a long battle, my mother has finally been diagnosed with a form of dementia. It's been soul destroying and so upsetting to watch her struggle and decline in health.
From the point of her diagnosis, she and my step father have had carers visiting their home at least twice a day, as well as my step sisters visiting everyday also to ensure that all is well etc.
Thankfully, most of the time, Mum was quite happy and I could still make her smile and laugh when I visited her (I live away from the area that she lives), and I do my best to 'keep my chin up' when I see her.
Put simply, I have a sister who is not a very nice person. She has upset pretty much the entire family over the years to the extent that she has estranged herself from us all. Mum kept in contact with her however, and even up to quite recently, my sister would upset her and offer emotional blackmail to Mum relating to access to her grand children etc. She has taken advantage of her and has sought monies from her using some quite dubious excuses.
Approximately two months ago, Mum had an issue with one of her legs (ongoing medical condition). At that time, she was living with my step father, who is elderly, very loving towards my Mum and admittedly is starting to struggle on some things at home.
My step Dad took Mum to the local hospital, where she received care for her leg.
On one occasion, during a follow up visit, she went to the hospital with my sister. Whilist there, social services attended (pre-arranged, apparently) at the request of my sister.
Mum was removed from the hospital by them and placed into the care of my sister at her home address.
My step Dad and family were given basic information by social services and were allegedly told by a particular social worker that they would not disclose the location of my Mum.
I was on holiday in the UK at this time (first holiday in several years!) and received a panicked phone call from my step sister telling me that Mum had been taken into care and that they couldn't find anything out, along with the fact that the social worker in question would not disclose 'anything' to them as they, "...weren't family."
As such, I obtained a phone number for the social worker and immediately made contact with them. They were not even aware that I existed! I asked what had happened, and was told that they , "...had concerns", about Mums welfare and that they had put her into a place of safety.
I expressed MY concerns that my step family (for over twenty years!) had not been told anything, to which they denied all knowledge of that and that my Mum being with my sister was most definately NOT a place of safety and was in no way suitable.
Essentially, the more I have listened to the social workers reasons etc since that time, the more I am convinced that they acted incorrectly.
No investigation was carried out by them prior to Mum being moved, no opinions from the home care workers and doctors were sought, and it has been proven that some of the 'concerns' expressed by my sister were very simply lies, to which social services have finally acknowledged. In other words, there was no justification for Mum being removed from her home of 20+ years.
This whole incident has caused a massive amount of upset and distress. My step father has been beside himself and cannot understand why this has happened. Mums health has declined dramatically (she is in a lovely home at the moment near to my step father, by the way which is one bonus).
I have been pushing to have a meeting with the social worker who instigated all of this, to discuss why this has happened and to plan for Mums long term future care.
To be honest, she has come up with various excuses causing delays for a meeting.
I now finally have a meeting arranged for this Thursday (04/08), which was made at short notice by them.
I know what I would like to ask and have researched as much as possible to try to ensure that social services do not 'brush over' their potential errors/mistakes etc, but I am now concerned that I may miss something.
I must point out that I am NOT looking at suing them or for monetry gain etc, and am purely pursuing this to ensure correct and proper care for my Mum in the future and to hold them to account for their mistakes so that this does not happen to anybody else.
Would it please be possible for somebody to give me some 'pointers' as to what would be appropriate to ask and what to expect?
What should I be aware of in case social services attempt to 'baffle me' with jargon etc?
Any input would be most appreciated.
Thank you in advance & kind regards.
Duncan.
