Struggling with mums showers

[Quatro]

Hi everyone, just registered. My mum has dementia(substantial/critical) and I have moved into my mum and dads house 8 months ago. My dad and I care for her. We are managing well (as well as one can I suppose) but have today had a major stand off to try and get mum into the shower. We have needed to prompt more and more and help but have managed to get her in. Today she simply refused. She says she doesnt like it(particularly getting her face wet-which we have been making sure she doesnt as much as poss). Does anybody have any technique or suggestions that may help?

Thanks in advance

Quatro

 

[Jo1958]

Quatro, hello and welcome to Talking Point
Personal hygeine is a major problem with dementia, I haven't found a way around it except not to push it and use wet wipes when all else fails. I look after my husband and I usually manage to get him into the shower about once a week, the rest of the time we get by on a lick and prayer.
I'm sure that others will be along with more experience than me, welcome and I look forward to seeing you around the site.
With best wishes from Jo

 

[Sue J]

Hi Quatro

Just a thought - could you get a shower seat for your Mum and then bring the shower head down so that it is not above her thereby avoiding getting her face wet and perhaps let her hold the shower head whilst you help her wash? It may be a totally inappropriate suggestion, sorry if it is but hope you find something that helps.

Best wishes
Sue

 

[Quatro]

Thanks

Quatro, hello and welcome to Talking Point
Personal hygeine is a major problem with dementia, I haven't found a way around it except not to push it and use wet wipes when all else fails. I look after my husband and I usually manage to get him into the shower about once a week, the rest of the time we get by on a lick and prayer.
I'm sure that others will be along with more experience than me, welcome and I look forward to seeing you around the site.
With best wishes from Jo

hi jo, thanks so much for your response. Been managing once a week so far, with wipes etc rest of week. This is first time not manged it. mum says she will 'perhaps' hve one tomoro. Will wait and see. nice to know others understand.xx

 

[Quatro]

Hi

Hi Quatro

Just a thought - could you get a shower seat for your Mum and then bring the shower head down so that it is not above her thereby avoiding getting her face wet and perhaps let her hold the shower head whilst you help her wash? It may be a totally inappropriate suggestion, sorry if it is but hope you find something that helps.

Best wishes
Sue

hi sue, yes we have been making sure mum doesnt get her face wet whilst showering but today for first time totally refused. Will keep going. funny, my name is Sue j too.x

 

[BeckyJan]

Maybe you need to reduce the amount of showering and just accept a thorough wash down is good enough for the present.

My husband also went through this phase although he was a once a day shower man. We eventually managed a 2/3 weekly shower - not easy though. All through this he never became smelly or unkempt.

It may help you to know that this is a common problem - you are not alone.

 

[germain]

HI,
My Mum would only go near the shower if I did - so we had a "girly " time. Glam shower caps, warm towels, shower stool & very low spray. Got the smelliest shower gel I could find as she didn't have a very good sense of smell. She showered while I got undressed and then I showered while she dried. Although at a pinch we could have both got in together.

It was almost as if - "if we're doing it together its fun, if we're not it's punishment."

Have to say though that I gave up trying to manage it more than once a week and used wipes the rest of the time.

Regards
Germain

 

[Jancis]

HI,
My Mum would only go near the shower if I did - so we had a "girly " time. Glam shower caps, warm towels, shower stool & very low spray. Got the smelliest shower gel I could find as she didn't have a very good sense of smell. She showered while I got undressed and then I showered while she dried. Although at a pinch we could have both got in together.

It was almost as if - "if we're doing it together its fun, if we're not it's punishment."

Have to say though that I gave up trying to manage it more than once a week and used wipes the rest of the time.

Regards
Germain

Germain,
I just wanted to say what a lovely and creative solution you came up with