What will happen next?
Hi all,
Been a member for some time now but have never managed to post much, have looked after my Mom and Husbands Nan, both with Dementia, now helping FIL with Step MIL. (SMIL)
Any advice from you lovely people would be gratefully accepted.
SMIL has been diagnosed for the last 7 years and FIL has managed to look after her at home.
3 Months ago he need a rest and got 10 day respite for SMIL. It went well but he missed her terribly.
On coming home, they arranged for a morning carer to call in and help her to get washed and dressed, she hated it, got very aggressive and FIL ended up doing the job.
From that point on she deteriorated and in desperation he phoned the doctor for help, who advised a stay in local Alz ward for assessment.
FIL accepted this as he knew he couldn’t cope any longer. She has carried on deteriorating since she has been on the ward. She also has other medical issues which put her at risk, so we were presented with a Deprivation of Liberty which he signed and was returned. He also came to terms with the fact that she needed full time care and that shortly we would be looking for a care home.
Now she has been in ward for around 10 weeks and FIL has changed his mind, he wants her home, because she getting better (she’s not) she’s eating more (on forsips no food) can now hold conversation (she cannot complete a sentence) he says he can cope with the changing of pads(now double incontinent) and he’s just a young healthy man ( seventies with a bypass op). And she keeps saying she is wants to go home(which we know is what a lot of our loved ones say) And we now cannot mention her going in a home again.
He has been a wonderful carer and has not given up when many others would. I think now that he has had a rest and a many good night’s sleep, he thinks and wants life to return as it was a few months ago, and of course he misses her terribly
.
While I really feel for him, she needs more care than he can give now.
The Deprivation of Liberty is up within the next few weeks, and I think this is when he thinks he can bring her home. What will happen is he refuses to sign a new DOL and tells them he is taking her home?
Sorry to go on, but I have never had to deal with DOL before and don’t quite understand the ins and outs.
Thanks for any replies, will log in again tomorrow.
Regards
Ethel Joan
Hi all,
Been a member for some time now but have never managed to post much, have looked after my Mom and Husbands Nan, both with Dementia, now helping FIL with Step MIL. (SMIL)
Any advice from you lovely people would be gratefully accepted.
SMIL has been diagnosed for the last 7 years and FIL has managed to look after her at home.
3 Months ago he need a rest and got 10 day respite for SMIL. It went well but he missed her terribly.
On coming home, they arranged for a morning carer to call in and help her to get washed and dressed, she hated it, got very aggressive and FIL ended up doing the job.
From that point on she deteriorated and in desperation he phoned the doctor for help, who advised a stay in local Alz ward for assessment.
FIL accepted this as he knew he couldn’t cope any longer. She has carried on deteriorating since she has been on the ward. She also has other medical issues which put her at risk, so we were presented with a Deprivation of Liberty which he signed and was returned. He also came to terms with the fact that she needed full time care and that shortly we would be looking for a care home.
Now she has been in ward for around 10 weeks and FIL has changed his mind, he wants her home, because she getting better (she’s not) she’s eating more (on forsips no food) can now hold conversation (she cannot complete a sentence) he says he can cope with the changing of pads(now double incontinent) and he’s just a young healthy man ( seventies with a bypass op). And she keeps saying she is wants to go home(which we know is what a lot of our loved ones say) And we now cannot mention her going in a home again.
He has been a wonderful carer and has not given up when many others would. I think now that he has had a rest and a many good night’s sleep, he thinks and wants life to return as it was a few months ago, and of course he misses her terribly
.
While I really feel for him, she needs more care than he can give now.
The Deprivation of Liberty is up within the next few weeks, and I think this is when he thinks he can bring her home. What will happen is he refuses to sign a new DOL and tells them he is taking her home?
Sorry to go on, but I have never had to deal with DOL before and don’t quite understand the ins and outs.
Thanks for any replies, will log in again tomorrow.
Regards
Ethel Joan