So frustrated and sad

[regbooboo]

Just new to the forum so hi to all! Feeling very down today and just wanted to let off steam really. My Mum lives with me and my husband and has done for the past 3 years. She suffers from dementia which seems to be progressing very quickly at the moment. She still knows all the family but cannot remember the day, month, year, her tablets etc etc. I've got used to her repeating the same things over and over again and can let it go over my head but she has developed a very bad habit in the last eight weeks or so. She had a small spot on the side of her nose which she has picked and picked and picked. I tell her about 60 times a day to leave it alone but she swears that she hasn't touched it at all that day. I have tried putting a plaster on it but she takes it off and says she feels stupid wearing it. I have tried to put antiseptic cream on it to keep it moist. I took her to see her GP yesterday and he mentioned it could be a rodent ulcer but couldn't confirm it as she has torn up the skin on her nose so much. She has an appointment for the dematologist next week but I know he won't be able to tell either as she is still not leaving her nose alone despite the GP being quite firm with her. I am at my wits end. I know she is going to end up with an infection and it is so frustrating. I try to keep in mind that she can't help it but it is driving me crazy. When I tell her to leave it alone she says she wishes she was "out of it" or it would be better if she was in a home. I know she doesn't mean it and is just showing off. Its such a shame as she was so strong for me in the past. Well sorry all just wanted to rant - going to try and go to bed now and relax ready for tomorrow

 

[lin1]

Hello Welcome to TP
Hopefully others will be along soon with many more replies and welcomes .

Im sorry to hear about your mum .

Im wondering if mum keeps touching and picking at the spoy because its sore, itching ect. Maybe a local anaesthetic cream would help , I would speak to gp first though .

Cotton gloves may help but mum may keep taking them off

As you have found no amount of telling mum to leave it alone works for very long.(((hugs)))

 

[piedwarbler]

Hi welcome to TP, I can't suggest much to help your mum, only distraction, could she do a jigsaw or help prepare vegetables for tea? X

 

[Cate]

Hi Welcome to TP

Hummm difficult to know what to suggest, to try and avoid infection I would make sure mum keeps using a hand gel and keep her nails very short.

Can mum knit, that might help keep her hands occupied, but it could also be she picks in her sleep too.

Sorry Ive not been much help have I, hope you can resolve it soon

 

[xanadu777]

My wife went through a period where she picked and picked at skin until she was bleeding in a number of places, some quite profusely. The doctor could not help in any way apart from having her wear gloves day and night but I found the answer was to keep her nails really short. It did not stop her from 'rubbing' her skin quite hard but this did not seem to give her the same 'satisfaction' and she quite quickly stopped. It's worth a try.

 

[Christin]

Hello Regbooboo, welcome to Talking Point.

I am sorry to read that your mum has dementia but pleased you have found us. I am sure you will find TP friendly and supportive and please let off steam whenever you feel the need

Best wishes to you.

 

[chucky]

Hi, my dad has had dementia for almost 6 years now and he has just started in the last week or so trying to "remove the mess on his arms" tattoos he has had almost all his life. Yesterday he said to me, look at my arms someones made a mess and it wont come off. I'm wondering what has prompted him to think about this after so long. He has begun rubbing furiously at them and i must admit i'm baffled, why now? Does anyone know what can cause this as he seemed quite anxious about it and its not like him.

 

[nocturne]

My Mum, after a lifetime of telling me not to pick at spots, cannot leave any of hers alone. She picks until they bleed. She, too, swears she has not touched them and probably does not remember doing so. She had shingles badly in her mouth and nose about 18 months ago and I thought her nose would never recover as she was at it all day and all night. The GP kept trying different things and in the end it did settle down. Keeping her nails very short and using as much soothing cream as medically accepteable was the only solution. She has recently been scratching her legs and caused huge blood encrusted scars which have taken weeks to get under control. They are improving now. It's a real battle and you hve my sympathy, but it is a battle that can be won so don't despair.
Jan

 

[Katrine]

Two things

1) My mum has been trying to scrub off the writing on her arms with bundles of tissue. The 'writing' is actually her own veins. She can at present be dissuaded but will wipe at the 'writing' when we are not looking. Thank goodness they aren't actually tattoos.

I wonder if the man who wants his tattoos to be gone is looking at his body as if he thinks he is much younger, before he had the tattoos done?

2) Rodent ulcer removal. This doesn't sound like something that your mum could cope with easily. It is generally done under a local anaesthetic not full sedation. It can involve a chemical freeze burn or sometimes excision, depending on how big/deep it is. Afterwards the patient will have a dressing.

I would urge you to get the medical people to come up with an integrated plan should minor surgery be required, not just the skin consultant doing his/her thing and leaving you with the nursing afterwards. You will probably need a district nurse to visit daily to check/re-dress if mum continues to be as fidgety.