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carter56

Registered User
Nov 30, 2010
24
0
merseyside
Hi everyone
I am new to here but thought the sooner i start to find out any info the better. my mother in law is 80 and lives alone. we have noticed over the past year how her memory has gone worse and how we have to repeat things over and over again and she still doesnt understand them. she gets very confused quite easliy. her appitite has diminished and she has to leave notes all over the house to remind her but then cant make any sense out of what she has wrote. she hurt her back recently so we had to take her to the drs and we mentioned all of the above and she did an examination and some kind of memory test. physically she is not too bad and on the memory test she scored 6 out of ten which she said was a pass but has refered her to a consultant because she thinks this is the onset of the first stages of alzheimers. my mother in laws confusion is getting worse and she is also depressed. she used to have a dog that she took out for walks but it died 2 years ago and she now has a cat for company. she is quite bad on her feet and has a walking stick and upto straining her back she would do her own shopping 2 mornings a week although it did take her an age. now she is housebound with her bad back . my husband works away all week and i live about 10 miles away and work full time and dont drive so we are struggling with things. we call 3 or 4 times a day to make sure she has taken her pain killers and has had something to eat although i know she isnt eating properly. we are due to go to hospital for another x ray and some blood test this week and still waiting for appointment to see a consultant about her suspected alzheimers.
sorry to have had a rant but i feel just over whelmed by it all.
thanks for listening
 

Contrary Mary

Registered User
Jun 11, 2010
1,895
0
69
Greater London
Hello and welcome to TP. I hope you find you get a lot of good advice and support here.

You say that it is "suspected" Alzheimers. If you feel that you need help from people like SS, don't let the lack of a formal diagnosis hold you back, you all have "needs" including you as the carer.

Have you an Alzheimer's Society branch where you live, they can give you support and advice.

I'm sure others will be along soon with more advice.

Take care
Mary
 

carter56

Registered User
Nov 30, 2010
24
0
merseyside
thanks everyone for reading my post. not got very far as i have been ill with tonisllitis. still not heard from the hospital regarding an appointment to see a consultant. should have taken mother in law for fasting blood test and urine test at the hospital but with having this tonsillitis and the weather being bad and not being able to drive it will have to be next week now .
thanks once again x x x
 

Bluebury

Registered User
Jul 21, 2010
53
0
North Manchester
Think that you need to contact your local Adult Services and ask for your mother in law to have an assessment. They can put all sorts of services in to make sure that she is safe, eating something, taking medication - in fact many things to help her which will then help you cope a little easier. There should also be meals on wheels avialble.

Also contact the Alzheimer's Society to see what help, advice and support is avilable in the area.

Each area takes a different length of time for the referral from the doctor to the consultant to come through - maybe give the GP a call and ask what is the average in her area.

Good luck and by the way this is a great forum where everyone is extremely friendly.

S
 

carter56

Registered User
Nov 30, 2010
24
0
merseyside
Just to bring you all up to date. Last month mum saw a geriatric psychiatrist and he confirmed the first stages of alzheimers. since then we have to wait for an appointment for an e.c.g and for a visit to the memory clinic and then they will decided on the dosage of medication. the dr suggested having a care package but my mother in law doesnt want anyone coming into her house and when a day in a day car centre was suggested she said no. some days she seems ok and others she is very confused.she is becoming more infirm and cant go out of the house unaided now as she fears falling and is extremely bad on her feet. we are having a visit from the local health trust for an assessment to see what help she needs. i know she will refuse it. she cant get out on her own, she cant get into her bath but does wash and dress herself. i worry because she has osteosporis and is on 2 lots of medication and she is unsteady when going up and downstairs.
thanks for listening. everyone. i just dont know what help to ask for at the assessment and how much it might cost. my mother in law isnt wealthy she lives in a council house and has less than £6000 in the bank. this is for her funeral she keeps telling us.
any advice would be much appreciated.
cheers linda
 

ellejay

Registered User
Jan 28, 2011
4,019
0
Essex
Hi, My mum has Vas D, lives alone in her council house on her pension,so not much savings. She has carers 3 times a day for her meds(up to 15mins each visit)She doesn't have to pay for those and when she broke her arm last year,she had to have the care increased to two 30 mins and two 15mins to include personal care and this was also free.She has meals on wheels, they cost £2-60 per day. She phones me loads, saying how lonely she is, but, like your MIL, refuses day centre visits (I call them friendship clubs,as she is "only" 89 and doesn't want to be with old people!
Good Luck with the assessment. Lin x
 

carter56

Registered User
Nov 30, 2010
24
0
merseyside
thanks lin for getting back in touch. i was worried we might have to pay for her help and we have no savings of our own and my husband just got back to work after having 12 months off. he caught a virus and was on a life support machine for 5 weeks .
hopefully all will go well tomorrow. does anyone know how we go about gettting a disabled badge for the car for my m.i.l ? she cant walk very far and getting her to the weekly visit to the supermarket is becoming a problem. a couple of times she hasnt beeen able to make the walk across the car park. we have suggested using a wheelchair when out but she refuses so dont know what to do for the best. any advice more than welcome xx x
cheers linda x x x
 

cragmaid

Registered User
Oct 18, 2010
7,936
0
North East England
Hi Linda, have a look on your Local Authority website ( just google it or similar) you'll get the information about a blue badge on there. Also have a look at the Attendance Allowance website as your MIL will almost certainly qualify for that. She may qualify for other benefits too and if she lives alone should get a discount on council tax. I think you should have a word with the local office of the Social Services and ask for an assessment for your Mum and also a carers assessment for yourself. Good Luck Maureen.
 

carter56

Registered User
Nov 30, 2010
24
0
merseyside
Hi everyone
Thanks for your advice and I have emailed the local Alzheimers branch this morning. Told m in l that she would be having a visit today to try and sort out some help for her but she is so against it. So fingers crossed we get something sorted..
Thanks once again all your help is so very much appreciated.
Cheers Linda x
 

carter56

Registered User
Nov 30, 2010
24
0
merseyside
What a day. Got to mil about 1.30 as visit was arranged for 2pm. I was knocking on the door for 20 mins and starting to get worried. I couldnt get in as mil had left key in the other side of door lock.
Evenutually she answers the door and she had been in the kitchen smoking. I had called her this morning and told her that after 1pm she hadnt to smoke and couldnt smoke while the visitors from the social services were here. Well when I told her to put her cigarette out all hell broke loose. She took a swipe at me with her walking stick and then slapped me across my face. as i put my hand up she grabbed it and she dug her nails in as hard a she could. I was frightened to push her away because of her osteosporosis i didnt want her to fall as i know she would have broken something. I managed to get her off and she gave me a torrent of abuse something really out of character. It really frightened me. I called my husband from work and stood outside till the visitors from the social arrived. I explained everything to them and we went in and it was as if nothing had happened.
my husband arrived and mil responds well to him. they have made plansto have grab rails in and around the house. and it was decided that someone would call around lunch times to check mil is having her meal and her medication. she didnt want to agree but my husband wouldnt take no for an answer and we put it to her that it was for a trial to see how it goes. we are having a financial visitor on thursday to see if there will be any cost but it is doubtful .
I am so stressed and wound up. i should be taking her for an ecg tomorrow but hubby says he will take time off to take her. Its not ideal as he has just got back intowork after long illnes and is self employed so no work no pay.
think big glass of red wine tonight might help
cheers everyone
Linda x x
 

Cookie21

Registered User
Jan 10, 2011
88
0
bit late in adding my hugs and best wishes... but have some for today! Hope that glass of wine helped!
 

carter56

Registered User
Nov 30, 2010
24
0
merseyside
thanks cookie, the wine did help !!!
hubby taken mil for ecg this morning fingers crossed all is ok.
financial assessment on thursday and then hopefully wont be long before we get a date for mil to have a daily visit to ensure she has her lunch and taken tablets...
just a quick question to anyone. mil has an appointment with the memory clinic on 8th april. they are coming to her home. how long after this will she be prescibed some medication, i feel its been a long haul to get to this point - from oct 2010. hope that when she is on meds it will help a little.
cheers linda xxx
 

carter56

Registered User
Nov 30, 2010
24
0
merseyside
Morning one and all
I had a call from the occupational therapist yesterday. they are going to make an appointment to come and view the mil's home with a view to adapting it to make life easier for her.chap on the phone seemed really helpful. called local authority for some advice on applying for a blue badge for disabled parking and the girl just said come and get the form we have no other information. !!! also does anyone have their relatives medications blister packed. the ss has said once a home care assistant starts to visit this is the only way they can tell if mil has had her medication. do i just ask the dr for this?? we did buy her one of thosedaily pill dispensers but she threw it away.
how long after the visit from the memory clinic do you think it will be before mil is on medication?
cheers linda x
 

hazytron

Registered User
Apr 4, 2008
1,166
0
SOUTH LAKES
Just want you to know how I feel for you. Hurrying, as usual, but if you check out my threads you will see we have similar difficulties.

Keep posting!

Regards Hazel
 

Christin

Registered User
Jun 29, 2009
5,038
0
Somerset
Hello, I am pleased to hear the OT has been so helpful and wish you luck with the improvements, thats good news. We found them very helpful here and they put lots of grab rails etc around the doors to help FIL in and out the garden, also loaned us a lot of equipment for the bathroom and bedroom.

I think the pharmacist will help with the blister packs. With regard to the blue badge I seem to remember it was quite simple, we had to have a photo but used one we already had and cut it down to size.

Best wishes to you all.
 

carter56

Registered User
Nov 30, 2010
24
0
merseyside
thanks hazel and christin for your help. there seems to be something new to learn everyday. So glad i joined tp. would be lost without you all
cheers linda x
 

carter56

Registered User
Nov 30, 2010
24
0
merseyside
Hola,
Update on progress so far.
SS been and agreed care plan and home care starts on Monday. it will be one visit a day around 12 - 12.30 to ensure mil has had lunch and had her meds.
financial assessor came out and mil doesn't have to pay as her income is just state pension. they are sending out someone from the benefits claims office to help fill in forms as they think she might be entitled to attendance allowance.
so it has been a busy few days. mil doesn't know home care is coming on monday yet as we will leave it till Sunday to tell her as she will only worry about it and that makes her memory worse.
thanks for all your help and advice and for being there for me to lean on. you are all wonderful and everything is really appreciated by me.
will keep you all updated. fingers crossed all goes well.
next appointment is for someone to visit from the memory clinic on 8th April and then hopefully will start mil on meds.
cheers linda x
 

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