Money!

[tillykate]

My Mom has been living with us for 3 months, I am self employed and my income has suffered. I have been feeding my Mom good food and she likes the heating up high! She is comfortable for money and has a disablity allowance, but I dont get a penny.

In fact my business is in trouble, my real Mom would have paid for her keep and given me a hand out. ( I am her only child)

Is there anything social services could do. She is moving into a flat in the next couple of weeks, but I still need time off and I will have to do her shopping.

I have got power of attorney.. but dont want to use this as Mom thinks she is perfectly fine!

I have tried talking to her.. but she ignores me.. I feel so low

 

[Jo1958]

Hi,
Have you got Carers Allowance sorted out for yourself, it's not a lot but it makes a big difference, it's my only income now and is a godsend, you should have it when your mom moves too as you will be spending time caring for her.
It is so hard coping with this awful disease and money worries certainly don't help, my heart goes out to you.
Good luck with the move, let us know how it goes.
With best wishes from Jo

 

[tillykate]

Hi Jo

Thanks for you reply, I did ask but I was told Mom gets £40 a week for carers etc and therefore I could not get any, was this information wrong?

Will let you know how things go, dreading her move, it will be great to have our house to ourselves again but I think it will be short lived.

Her memory is not too, she just realised that its Sunday and time for Songs of Praise! She lets her self down, on personnal hygenne, eating and drinking. She is embrassing in company!! Her comments make me cringe!

 

[Nebiroth]

Hi Jo

Thanks for you reply, I did ask but I was told Mom gets £40 a week for carers etc and therefore I could not get any, was this information wrong?

Yes. The Carer's Allowance is payable to any Carer who spends 35 hours a week or more caring for someone in receipt of the qualifying benefits (that is, either Attendance Allowance or Disability Living Allowance)

"Caring" has a very broad definition, and it includes things like shopping, cooking, laundry or just being present or 'on call' in case you're needed.

Carer's Allowance is means tested, but only on income from employment (including self-employment); if you earn more than £100 a week you can't get it. But savings aren't counted.

Do be aware though, that if you receive Carer Allowance it might affect your mom's income. For example, if she gets certain disability related premiums attached to some benefits she might lose them. This is because technically, those premiums are to help pay for care needs, which the carer getting Carer Allowance provides.

You'd need to ask for advice as to the overall effect on both your incomes if you were to get Carer Allowance.

Benefits and the way they interract can be complex. You could ask for a Benefits Adviser to visit, most local authorities have one.

One important thing; if your mom has created either an EPA or LPA naming you as attorney, then you are legally obliged to register it and activate your attorneyship if you feel your mom has lost the capacity to manage her own affairs.

Many people feel reluctant - I did - but it is a legal duty.

As an attorney is would be quite acceptable for you to pay a reasonable portion of household bills from your mom's accounts, whilst she lives with you; paying a portion of heating and groceries would be entirely justified. You aren;t required to keep a written account, but it's a good idea to do this. At the moment it sounds as though she's not making any contribution towards her portion of yout household expenses and whilst it's nice to be altruistic and have mom stay as an unpaying guest, it's not practical if your finances are becoming unsustainable.

If your mom moves into an independent flat, then it's still reasonable for you to pay for her shopping from her account. It would also probably be OK for you to meet specific expenses incurred by you to provide care, for example, if you had to make car journeys on her behalf.

What you can;t really do, though, is pay yourself for being a carer generally (and you probably woldn;t want to but the point stands)