Sleepless Nights

[willsar]

Hi
Any advice on what to do with husband who spends night shuffling about in the dark or with lights on, flushing the toilet endlessly, partaking in activities that I won't even go into!! Have just shouted at him to stop flushing the toilet again, I know its 6.20 but this has been going on since 3.00. Am sitting downstairs as he is driving me mad. How much will it upset him if I move his bedroom to downstairs now (mobility okish now but stairs will be issue in the not to distant future). I am not intending to move bedroom with him, has anyone else done this, had problems doing this, feel bad but I can't stand not sleeping anymore, have gone sick from work this week as have a bad cold but really sooo tired couldnt face it (but actually think work more relaxing). Sorry to be moaning and sounding mean but any advice again would be gratefully recieved.

 

[tania]

same as

my mum is the same she has been stressed since three oclock this morning putting a bed downstairs would be better also try to keep calm easy said than done I know but getting annoyed which is understandable makes them more agitated I have learnt after the last two years to keep my voice at the same tone , my mum before she became bed bound two months ago was showering three times a day also running the taps constantly it was so frustrating so I know how you feel , have you got any carers I did not want this at first but they are a god send now also crossroads voluntary service can help while you have a couple of hours off for yourself get in touch with social services to get you some help if not you will run yourself down and that will not be good for both of you

kind regards
tania

 

[elaine n]

I think separate rooms is definitely the answer to a night's sleep, I moved into a different room months ago so that we wouldn't disturb each other (I wasn't sleeping well at the time). Do you think it may be less unsettling though to leave your husband in the room he's used to and move to another room yourself? I now have an infra red alarm on the landing which sounds in my room incase Gary leaves his room in the night and starts wandering which gives me extra peace of mind.

 

[johnpatcarl]

Hi

HI WILLSAR I AM ONLY SPEAKING FOR MYSELF AND MY EXPERIENCES BUT I SWEAR I DO NOT KNOW HOW I WOULD HAVE COPED WITHOUT TAMAZEPAN MY WIFE IS NOW ON 10 mg a night she was on 5 but it stopped working, the doctors seemed a bit reluctant to prescribe it at first but now they are quite happy she has been on it for two years with no ill effects whatsoever she wakes up full of the joys of life most days so at least i might have given you food for thought. I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH WHEN YOU DO NOT GET YOUR SLEEP IT MAKES IT VERY DIFFICULT TO COPE AND CARING FOR SOMEONE WITH DEMENTIA IS HARD ENOUGH ANYWAY MY THOUGHTS ARE WITH YOU TAKE CARE JOHN

 

[willsar]

Thank you all The only problem with me moving room is that quite soon my husband wont make the stairs and our stairs aren't suitable for stairlift, just thought that maybe could get him moved whilst he thinks he normal!?! Also our son sleeps upstairs and I am worried about him distrubing our son if Im not there and at least if he was downstairs I would have some warning that he was on the prowl! Maybe the tamazapan for while getting him used to being downstairs.

 

[willsar]

OMG!!! I couldn't keep him from going to bed any longer and the toilet flushing has started again Why is he obsessed with the toilet!!

 

[Jo1958]

Willsar, hi
We have been through this for years and last week on a visit to the doctor hubby was prescribed sleeping pills, Zopiclone 7.5mg, he slept for 6 hours last night on first taking the pills, a first for about eighteen months of very restless disturbed nights. There is no quick cures but this has given hubby respite from his crawlies, mice and deformed cats that have been our constant companions.
I hope you find some help soon and things work better for you both.
With best wishes from Jo

 

[ceetee]

Hi,

I can sympathize with you...My hb also uses the loo (or not?) and keeps flushing at least every 30min from about 6pm to10pm. Did even think about disconecting the water from the toilet so it can't flush. Not sure if he is aware he is doing it??

Best wishes, Ceetee.

 

[Jo1958]

Willsar, hi
The toilet, well don't get me started on how hubby uses and reuses and misuses the toilet, I'd be flush if I knew the answer to that problem around here!
Leaving taps on and water running so he can watch it and leave it on while he walks away, it has to be part of this awful disease because others have mentioned it.
Take good care of yourself and stay sane, with kind regards from Jo

 

[willsar]

Thank you thank you I'm trying so hard to be tolerant I just need him not to do it all night again as well as all evening, going back to work in morning so a bit of catch up sleep would be nice. It just helps to know others have the same problems.
Just one thing that puzzles me why doesnt he seem to need to sleep or be exhausted by all his night time excursions?

 

[ceetee]

Hi Willsar,

I am working full-time, too. But visits by my hb's daughter have highlighted that he sleeps a lot in the day...so that is where the energy comes from at night (in our case anyway.). Do you know what your hb is doing in the day while you are at work?

Ceetee xx.

 

[willsar]

Hi Ceetee
Am only working part time as hubby didn't want me at work at all and found he was getting too frightened on his own at the start, now as the dementia has progressed he cant managed to be alone. He does nap on and off during the day but not to the extent of a nights sleep! But he does just sit a lot starring at the tv changing channels, but don't start me on that other piece of obsessive behaviour!

 

[ceetee]

Hi Willsar,

maybe we should sit our hbs together for a day..they would probably get on great...we might need two TV sets though and two remotes. And possibly two loos. Hope you get some sleep tonight...oh, I can hear the loo going again upstairs.

Thinking of you, sharing your feelings, Ceetee xx.

 

[willsar]

Thank you and hope you sleep well too. The toilet hasnt flushed for 10 minutes think I might try to get some sleep.
You all make me feel much brighter and see the funnier side of our other halves different behaviour!

 

[MissisT]

I hesitated before I wrote this in case you think I'm being facetious but have you thought of ear plugs? Also, the 'silent fill' loos (google it) we happen to have in our house are a boon. It doesn't stop the actual flushing noise but the prolonged noise of the cistern refilling just doesn't happen.

Teresa x

 

[Bronwen]

If you have a hubby get together one night, can I please send mine along..but you will have to put up with your shoe cupboard being emptied every night with shoes all over the bedroom floor and then on to the landing...and my fleece looked very nice on him the other night!!! I could go on and on but I know we all could!!

Try to keep smiling, but it isn't always easy is it?

love
Bronwen x

 

[willsar]

Well perhaps my hubby could put all the piles of hankies with your hubbies shoe piles! I really dont know where the huge number of hankies come from but he keeps finding them. Bless them all! I think all our hubbies together would have a grand time.

 

[Linda Mc]

..or when mine wanders around with one of my socks on one hand and his bottom dentures in the other whilst trying to fit his size 10 feet into my shoes!

 

[DeborahBlythe]

Hi
How much will it upset him if I move his bedroom to downstairs now (mobility okish now but stairs will be issue in the not to distant future).

Hello Willsar, sorry to read about your difficulties.It might be a good solution to change the sleeping arrangements for your husband especially if stairs will become an issue anyway at some stage. My only worry is whether he is prone to wandering and could walk out of your front door without you realising, if his bedroom was downstairs? There would be ways around this, I know, but might be best to think about the possibility in advance. Good luck.

 

[willsar]

Hi Deborah
Thank you Have been giving thought to that problem, although wandering is not his thing, getting him moving can be the issue but I suppose that could change too. Could either lock front door or another person uses an infa red alarm? certainly will look into that to warn me he is on the prowl.