What have I done wrong?

[poppy01]

Hi..I havent been on this forum for a few months so I will give you a quick update on things. My mom passed away last april, it was horrendous, but since then things have been getting worse between my younger sister and myself. We have always been very very close and I thought the death of mom would bring us even closer. How wrong I was. Its driven us apart. She started to 'kick off' before the funeral. Our older sister came from australia for moms funeral and my younger sister wasnt very pleasant towards her. Like I said things have been gradually getting worse and worse since losing mom. Few weeks before xmas I asked my sister what we were going to do for xmas, if we were going to get together, as we normally do anyhow, she told me she wasnt interested in xmas and she hadnt discussed or even thought about it. This went on for about 4-6wks leading up to xmas. I asked dad one day if he had thought about it, andhe told me it was all arranged that he was going to go to my younger sisters and spend the xmas holiday there. This really really hurt me, and if am honest, annoyed me too. So I told him I had been asking my sis etc etc and his reply was he didnt want to get involved. I telephoned my sis and asked her why I hadnt been asked to discuss it etc etc and she flipped. It ended up in a row between me and her. Then I didnt hear from her for a long time, bearing in mind she always rang me or I rang her every single day. In the meantime I was taken ill so I thought I would keep away from dad, didnt want him to get it. I rang him and told him etc. he was fine with it. Week later I turned up at dads house and he told me he had had the doctor out as he had been very ill. Think it was about 2days before I visited him. I asked him why no one had told me and he said he didnt know and he didnt want to get involed. ??? I rang my sister and asked her why she didnt tell me about dad and the doctor having to be called and she told me it wasnt her place to ring me. She then hurled a load of abuse at me and ended the call. I tried to phone and talk it over but she wasnt interested in trying to sort this mess out. I havent heard from her since. I saw her in the city couple of weeks ago, I was with my son and she had her daughter, she barged straight by us. Since then my dad has not wanted to talk to me very much and made it very plain that I am not wanted there. So I have not gone to see him for the last couple of weeks. I have tried to phone him to see how he is but he has made excuses up to get off the phone to me. Earlier on today he telephoned me to ask for his key and the fob to gain entry into the housing complex he is in, back as he is moving and he needs it back. I asked him where he was moving to and he said it was nothing to do with me.?? I asked him if he would be keeping the same phone number and he told me he didnt no. I asked if he would give me the new no if he was given one and he replied again I dont know. There was no feeling in his voice towards me. I dont know what I've done wrong here with either of them. My younger sister has always manipulated my parents, and she is a one parent family and even before mom got alezheimers, they kept telling everyone they felt sorry for her being on her own. Its my sisters choice to be on her own. Now all this has kicked off. I dont know what to do. I feel hurt, angry, alone, I never thought that this would happen as a result of mom dying. Yes I know theyre still grieving, but so am I, we all are. But to do and say such nasty stuff to me, is beyond me. I have an older sister and brother abroad, and dad has takent the same stand with them. So its not just me. I seem to think tht my younger sister has somehow brainwashed my dad. I really do. I cant think of any other reason why he has turned on me.

 

[piedwarbler]

Hi Poppy, your story has upset me, what a terrible way to be treated by your own family and it seems you don't even know what you have done wrong! All I can say to comfort you is, thank goodness we can choose our friends if not our families. I have some absolutely fantastic friends who do me so many good turns I can't keep up with them all. I do hope you have a couple of good, close friends to look after you at this difficult time.

I can't say any more to make you feel any better, but I wish I could. You don't deserve to be treated like this! Sending you a hug x

 

[Rachel T]

Poppy,

I am so sorry to read about your problems with your family, it's at times like this that the family needs to stick together and it is such a shame that this has happened.

My husbands family were just the same after mother died last year, in fact my brother-in-law and sister-in-law only speak now through a solicitor.

I have no words of advise I just want you to know that you are not alone, your friends on TP are thinking of you.

Sending you a big hug.