Can I run this by you all..
- Thread starter gigi
- Start date
Knowing what you should do and then having the courage to do it takes some guts Gigi. I'm very proud of you for your courage. Now it is up to others to take this over. You have done your bit. We live and learn don't we.
xxTinaT
xxTinaT
Gigi, you are so brave.
I would have been like you as I tend to treat people as I want to be treated and not everyone is the same, I have been caught out by this type of person too and you can't believe this would happen,so you tend to carry on with the conversation to try and make things normal they are not.
Don't let this change you just learn the lesson from it.
Lots of love amd hugs. Xxxxxx
I would have been like you as I tend to treat people as I want to be treated and not everyone is the same, I have been caught out by this type of person too and you can't believe this would happen,so you tend to carry on with the conversation to try and make things normal they are not.
Don't let this change you just learn the lesson from it.
Lots of love amd hugs. Xxxxxx
Update....
Just to let you know that I had a phone call from the manager yesterday morning regarding this incident.
The carer was to be interviewed yesterday afternoon.
The manager made it clear to me that up to the point of the phone call I received from her the carer had no idea about why he was being "seen"
But that he would know after the interview. Therefore if I did have any visits in the future it was imperative that I informed the office and did not let him into my house.
There will be another visit from SS with a written statement for me to sign for their records and a follow-up report from yesterday's meeting.
So not quite forgotten...but being dealt with.
Love xx
Just to let you know that I had a phone call from the manager yesterday morning regarding this incident.
The carer was to be interviewed yesterday afternoon.
The manager made it clear to me that up to the point of the phone call I received from her the carer had no idea about why he was being "seen"
But that he would know after the interview. Therefore if I did have any visits in the future it was imperative that I informed the office and did not let him into my house.
There will be another visit from SS with a written statement for me to sign for their records and a follow-up report from yesterday's meeting.
So not quite forgotten...but being dealt with.
Love xx
I'm so glad you 'nipped this in the bud'!
I've just had an incident myself which has quite unnerved me and which I needed some good advice from very dear friends about. I'd been chatting to a man on the internet who had lost his wife a year ago. We hadn't had many internet chats but I had told him about my Ken and sympathised with him for his loss. When he started to ask to meet me, I refused but he persisted. I then sent him a message telling him I would no longer be on this internet site and that our friendship was ended.
God Help me! He had gathered from our very few conversations the area I lived in, was an active member of a local organisation and came to Bolton to find me! He went to the town hall who directed him to the local organisation. He arrived there (thank God I wasn't there) and asked that they urgently gave me a letter he had written.
A few days later I got the letter which was an impassioned plea to see me. My first reaction was to be flattered, to think how lovely he was to take the trouble to come all this way etc., etc., but after talking to my two good friends I realised that I was in quite a dangerous situation. I did not respond to the letter. At the end of the letter he had said that he would not try to contact me again if I didn't respond to his letter.
So far I haven't had any further problems but it has been an uneasy time for me and my stomach turns in knots when I think he might turn up again. The staff at the organisation he contacted me though have been told and know what to do if he turns up again.
So Gigi, it's not only yourself who unwittingly gets into an unpleasant, worrying and frightening situation.
It has made me think before writing what I thought of as innocuous details about myself, even on TP (although TP was not involved in any way)
xxTinaT
I've just had an incident myself which has quite unnerved me and which I needed some good advice from very dear friends about. I'd been chatting to a man on the internet who had lost his wife a year ago. We hadn't had many internet chats but I had told him about my Ken and sympathised with him for his loss. When he started to ask to meet me, I refused but he persisted. I then sent him a message telling him I would no longer be on this internet site and that our friendship was ended.
God Help me! He had gathered from our very few conversations the area I lived in, was an active member of a local organisation and came to Bolton to find me! He went to the town hall who directed him to the local organisation. He arrived there (thank God I wasn't there) and asked that they urgently gave me a letter he had written.
A few days later I got the letter which was an impassioned plea to see me. My first reaction was to be flattered, to think how lovely he was to take the trouble to come all this way etc., etc., but after talking to my two good friends I realised that I was in quite a dangerous situation. I did not respond to the letter. At the end of the letter he had said that he would not try to contact me again if I didn't respond to his letter.
So far I haven't had any further problems but it has been an uneasy time for me and my stomach turns in knots when I think he might turn up again. The staff at the organisation he contacted me though have been told and know what to do if he turns up again.
So Gigi, it's not only yourself who unwittingly gets into an unpleasant, worrying and frightening situation.
It has made me think before writing what I thought of as innocuous details about myself, even on TP (although TP was not involved in any way)
xxTinaT
Tina, that must have been really worrying. And presented you with a dilemma -- not what you need at all. Thank goodness you were able to confide in your friends.
Gigi I am so glad that this is almost resolved properly, and Tina, don't ever stop trying to help others, just thank you for reminding us all to be cautious.x.
Gosh, Tina, I'm sure that was disturbing on many different levels.
I really hope this has terminated the situation. We do tend to believe that everyone has the same agenda as the rest of us, and it's a real shock to realise that that might not be true.
Forgive me if I use this opportunity to point out to other members that just because someone is a regular poster on a forum, it does not mean that they are "safe". I'm sure that 99% of the posters here are just what and who they claim to be. I would be cautious, however, about any poster who reticent about their personal situation.
There are various questions that anyone should consider:
1) Do you know the sex of the poster? While it is not absolutely necessary to specify if you are male or female, there is no reason why someone should be reticent about this fact. If you have no idea whether a poster is male or female, think about whatever they may be trying to hide.
2) What is their connection with dementia? Anyone can "claim" to have the same experiences as you, and that tends to result in a level of trust, but if they never mention whether it is their parent, their spouse, their brother or sister, then again, you should consider if that poster is hiding something.
This is a very boring post, I know, but the only people who have been in any way "vetted" on this forum are present and past forum moderators.
I really hope this has terminated the situation. We do tend to believe that everyone has the same agenda as the rest of us, and it's a real shock to realise that that might not be true.
Forgive me if I use this opportunity to point out to other members that just because someone is a regular poster on a forum, it does not mean that they are "safe". I'm sure that 99% of the posters here are just what and who they claim to be. I would be cautious, however, about any poster who reticent about their personal situation.
There are various questions that anyone should consider:
1) Do you know the sex of the poster? While it is not absolutely necessary to specify if you are male or female, there is no reason why someone should be reticent about this fact. If you have no idea whether a poster is male or female, think about whatever they may be trying to hide.
2) What is their connection with dementia? Anyone can "claim" to have the same experiences as you, and that tends to result in a level of trust, but if they never mention whether it is their parent, their spouse, their brother or sister, then again, you should consider if that poster is hiding something.
This is a very boring post, I know, but the only people who have been in any way "vetted" on this forum are present and past forum moderators.
Tina, that must have been scary for you, and just when you were at your most vulnerable. I do hope the matter is at an end.
Gigi, well done. We are all so vulnerable, and it's sad that some people seek to take advantage of that.
Love,
Gigi, well done. We are all so vulnerable, and it's sad that some people seek to take advantage of that.
Love,
It's hard but yes I think you do have to report him. With you it's been a situation where you have felt unerasy, but if he's a carer what other boundaries might he be overstepping? Shelagh
'Dealt with' (and efficiently too, by the sound of it) is MUCH more preferable to forgotten.Gigi said:
Love 'n Hugs Gigi
More news...
Phone call thismorning ..of all mornings..to let me know that the initial enquiry has taken place and this guy is now suspended from duty.
They have discovered that I wasn't the only person he visited and he has been booking these visits on his time sheet.
Tomorrow the manager is coming to see me with a copy of the statement I made for me to read and sign.
This is going to go forward to a full disciplinary procedure.
xx
Phone call thismorning ..of all mornings..to let me know that the initial enquiry has taken place and this guy is now suspended from duty.
They have discovered that I wasn't the only person he visited and he has been booking these visits on his time sheet.
Tomorrow the manager is coming to see me with a copy of the statement I made for me to read and sign.
This is going to go forward to a full disciplinary procedure.
xx
And not terribly clever.
I'm glad you went ahead as you did - who knows what could have happened down the road if he hadn't been checked.
I'm glad you went ahead as you did - who knows what could have happened down the road if he hadn't been checked.
Trust your instincts
Hi Gigi, I tend to agree with the most. TRUST your instincts. Personally i think it's inappropriate behaviour. He is a carer not a social worker? therefore not his job description to call 'socialy' on the pretence of being there to talk 'shop'. This has put you in a vulnerable possition. Good luck in diffusing this situation.
Hi Gigi, I tend to agree with the most. TRUST your instincts. Personally i think it's inappropriate behaviour. He is a carer not a social worker? therefore not his job description to call 'socialy' on the pretence of being there to talk 'shop'. This has put you in a vulnerable possition. Good luck in diffusing this situation.
