had enough

[Nan2seven]

Hi, littlegem. I am full of admiration at your taking your dear man on holiday with you down to Devon. And open-mouthed in admiration when I read how heavy he is and you do all the pushing of him in a wheelchair. Brian is only about 12 stone but with the weight of the chair it is more, of course. I'm pretty fit but I can't keep it up for long.

What a pain having someone drive into you the other day. The very last thing you wanted on a few days away. Hope you are now feeling better about it - even a tad resigned - and am glad to see that you have now planned your trip back home. Hope it all goes smoothly for you.

Thinking of you, enjoy your last few days but take it gently,
Love, Nan XXX

 

[sad nell]

Little gem I really feel for you, you were trying to have a bit of normal life for both of you and put so much effort into it to make it happen then the bump just pushed you too far and the thought of the long drive without any input or understanding of all your responsibility for your husband.welfare is just too much sometimes, I know that just sometimes it seeps over me too, but then we pick ourselves up and live to fight another day. How sensible to book the stop over, hope you can enjoy the next few days now you have a plan in hand to ease your journey, love to you both. Pam

 

[piedwarbler]

Littlegem, my mum weighs about 7 stone wet through, and pushing her in her wheelchair just round the home's gardens is enough to do me in! The more I hear about your workload the more punishing it sounds - literally.

Hope you get some comfort from all the good vibes on here coming towards you x

 

[littlegem]

Hi piedwarbler,
Good job I've been a builders wife for 41 years!!!!
I've got arms like a navvie.
Seriously I was (before hip re-surface and related problems) extremely fit- felted roofs, put windows in, served my time on a wheelbarrow and the most regular job was moving scaffolding from place to place between jobs.
Never thought twice about any of it. Just find it strange NOT being able to do things- it's a case of the mind being 20 still and the body being 58. Hubby starts physio shortly trying to get him moving a bit more so things should get easier. Fingers crossed!!!
Thanks for your concern
Take care
xx

 

[Rosalind]

Me again, Littlegem. Look, there MUST be some more sources of help for you. If finances are not good, then a bit of help should be free. I had 'befrienders' from Alzheimer's support, and got one of them for nothing.

I'm afraid you have to badger to get this sort of thing. My feeling is you should not be stoical when CPN or whoever asks how you are coping. Cry, wail and have very bad hair when they come to assess.

If you did not look after your husband it would cost the state far more.

And as for your arthritis, is there any chance you could get yourself to some sort of exercise class? I must declare an interest, as I own a couple of womens gyms, but we really do see improvements in arthritic members who build up the muscle round those painful joints.

I do hope your journey home is not as bad as you first thought.

Rosalind

 

[littlegem]

Hi Rosalind,
I have ( in the last 3 weeks) got in touch with local Alz group,
was waiting for confirmation of Vas D before getting back to them. They sent me a lot of useful leaflets. I will get in touch with them again when I get back off hols.

I'm intrigued by any exercises for arthritic toes- my mind working overtime on that one.
On a serious note, by the time I've dealt with hubby I do not have the energy for anything. We been out today to a fancy garden centre/ shopping mall then Tesco and I've pushed him all round in the chair.
My back's killing me and even worse my GOOD hip is hurting as well. I already know got mild arthur in it but it's getting like the other one before the re-surface.
I already have to sit on the floor to wash him because I cannot bend down.
Thanks for replying. Will get back to you re Alz befrienders when it's sorted.
Take care.xx

 

[Grannie G]

Goodness littlegem. You certainly have the right User Name.

 

[littlegem]

Hi Grannie G,
Hubby used to call me that just after his stroke- now he calls me warthog-don't ask me why but I HATE IT
xx

 

[Grannie G]

I would hate it too. It`s so unfair.
The harder your caring role becomes , often the more flack and challenging behaviour you are expected to put up with.
My husband was often very rude to me. If it`s any consolation, he`s lovely with me now, even if he doesn`t see me as his wife.

 

[littlegem]

GrannieG,
this weird disease is overwhelming.
No two people react the same, have same symptoms.
I suppose that's why we are all on this forum trying to make sense of it when in reality we are all flying by the seat of our pants, so to speak.
Reading some of the posts leaves me speechless, what the carers are having to go through.
thank you and take care, xxx

 

[Christin]

Hope you are safely home now

 

[littlegem]

Thank you Christen,
We've been back about an hour.
Legs were shaky at the start but very good journey- cold through Shropshire -2 but lovely day.
Hubby's memory clinic appointment was waiting in the mail, (surprising what a phone call will do-they didn't know anything about it at the Doc's when i phoned before we went away)
Anyway it's 9/2/11 at 9.30am.
I don't know what I am expecting anyone to do if Vas D is confirmed- it doesn't change the situation really.
I will contact Local Alz group next week.
Will let you all know how hubby gets on at the clinic
Take care
xx

 

[Bronwen]

Just a thought..have you a Princess Royal Trust in your area? I contacted them when Trevor was diagnosed and we had a lovely volunteer who used to come and sit with Trevor for two hours, whilst I went out and there was no charge..just a huge big thank you every time.

So glad you are home safe and sound, but I think we are all worried you have too big a responsibility without much help.

I hope you get help soon.

love
Bronwen x

 

[littlegem]

Just a thought..have you a Princess Royal Trust in your area? I contacted them when Trevor was diagnosed and we had a lovely volunteer who used to come and sit with Trevor for two hours, whilst I went out and there was no charge..just a huge big thank you every time.

So glad you are home safe and sound, but I think we are all worried you have too big a responsibility without much help.

I hope you get help soon.

love
Bronwen x

I'll check that out Bronwen thank you.
My biggest problem is that I do not think we are entitled to help as we are managing and because sw's and gp's don't seem bothered maybe we do not qualify for help.
I think I need to talk to someone other than a sw, someone who has gone through the same thing -definately will contact Alz group

Thank you for your time
take care
xx

 

[Christin]

Hello Littlegem, have you had a carer's assessment. If not, ask for one and then the question of a support worker should pop up for you. They should then be able to help you with other things and offer lots of advice re what is available in your local area.

Glad you are safely home