Never thought it would come to this.
- Thread starter DMWalker
- Start date
Thank you all, Bronwen your experience seems a lot like mine, I hope Dave is ok when I go today.
I have been up since 3.50am mulling over the words the staff nurse said to me, I had the feeling at the time that he meant Dave was not so bad and maybe should not have been sectioned. He did say that he would be there for quite a while so his true colours would show at some time.
My thoughts now are that he is possibly thinking Dave is clever enough to hide his aggression when he is being assessed, maybe he won't be able to when he sees me today. I will let you know.
Dee x
I have been up since 3.50am mulling over the words the staff nurse said to me, I had the feeling at the time that he meant Dave was not so bad and maybe should not have been sectioned. He did say that he would be there for quite a while so his true colours would show at some time.
My thoughts now are that he is possibly thinking Dave is clever enough to hide his aggression when he is being assessed, maybe he won't be able to when he sees me today. I will let you know.
Dee x
Dear Dee,
My Brian was taken off to an Assessment Unit, supposedly for six weeks back in August, but I brought him home after only a week because they mislaid all his clothes, he was barefoot and cold - but that's another story.
It is a distressing time for you, even though there is an element of relief there, too. I remember it so well.
I do hope to-day's visit goes well and I am glad you have someone to go with you. Will be thinking of you.
Love, Nan XXX
My Brian was taken off to an Assessment Unit, supposedly for six weeks back in August, but I brought him home after only a week because they mislaid all his clothes, he was barefoot and cold - but that's another story.
It is a distressing time for you, even though there is an element of relief there, too. I remember it so well.
I do hope to-day's visit goes well and I am glad you have someone to go with you. Will be thinking of you.
Love, Nan XXX
Dear Dee,
I remember when Alan was in hospital and I was in a quandary as to whether I could cope at home or not. Everyone was saying that he ought to go into a care home and all I kept saying was that I could not cope as things were at Christmas with Alan being as bad as he was both day and night
Making this decision was one of the hardest things for me and so I can only imagine what you might be going through. I would just say "don't be rushed into anything without having the options clearly before you". If Dave is to be home what care would need to be in place (would be qualify for continuing care?)
I hope that all is well when you visit today.
Love
I remember when Alan was in hospital and I was in a quandary as to whether I could cope at home or not. Everyone was saying that he ought to go into a care home and all I kept saying was that I could not cope as things were at Christmas with Alan being as bad as he was both day and night
Making this decision was one of the hardest things for me and so I can only imagine what you might be going through. I would just say "don't be rushed into anything without having the options clearly before you". If Dave is to be home what care would need to be in place (would be qualify for continuing care?) I hope that all is well when you visit today.
Love
Dee, reading your thread, it strikes me as unreasonable to ask you what your thoughts are at this stage.
You are exhauseted and traumatised by what has happened. You need time to recover, and you all need time to see how Dave is once the infection has been treated. And don't forget, once infections have started, they are likely to recur.
I think you need to tell the staff nurse this, though he should neot need to be told.
Please don't be pressured into making any decisions.
Love,
You are exhauseted and traumatised by what has happened. You need time to recover, and you all need time to see how Dave is once the infection has been treated. And don't forget, once infections have started, they are likely to recur.
I think you need to tell the staff nurse this, though he should neot need to be told.
Please don't be pressured into making any decisions.
Love,
Dave was sat by the reception desk on the hospital ward when we got there, the nurse told him he had visitors, he saw Peter and ran to shake his hand, he didn't notice me at first, when he did he held me and cried.
We were shown into a quiet room, he cried for quite a while, his lip had been bleeding where some incident had happened the night before with another patient, he told us about it but the nurse said he didn't retaliate.
He then fell asleep in the chair, two nurses came in to talk to us and ask questions, they said he appeared to know that he had been sectioned but when asked if he wanted to appeal himself he replied that there was no point as the doctor and 'she' (me) wouldn't listen. Both Peter and I were amazed at this because Dave struggles to say anything. They said they could appeal for him to have the section rescinded, he had shown no aggression towards anyone other than when someone wanted to wash him, he wanted to do it himself. Everything Peter and I told them about the past few months was recorded.
He wanted to come home with me but accepted it when I said he had to stay for a while. As heartbreaking as it was I just couldn't say I could look after him, not yet anyway.
Leaving him after 2 hours was harder than I expected, he tried to follow us out of the doors but the staff stopped him, Peter told me not to look back but I had to.
Peter will continue to go and see him on the same day he would have been coming to take him out, that's comforting for me because we have no-one other than me to go. I think I will go every other day.
Phew!!! More thoughts to keep me awake!
I'm going to the Alzheimer's meeting now, it's good to have them to talk to also.
Love Dee x
We were shown into a quiet room, he cried for quite a while, his lip had been bleeding where some incident had happened the night before with another patient, he told us about it but the nurse said he didn't retaliate.
He then fell asleep in the chair, two nurses came in to talk to us and ask questions, they said he appeared to know that he had been sectioned but when asked if he wanted to appeal himself he replied that there was no point as the doctor and 'she' (me) wouldn't listen. Both Peter and I were amazed at this because Dave struggles to say anything. They said they could appeal for him to have the section rescinded, he had shown no aggression towards anyone other than when someone wanted to wash him, he wanted to do it himself. Everything Peter and I told them about the past few months was recorded.
He wanted to come home with me but accepted it when I said he had to stay for a while. As heartbreaking as it was I just couldn't say I could look after him, not yet anyway.
Leaving him after 2 hours was harder than I expected, he tried to follow us out of the doors but the staff stopped him, Peter told me not to look back but I had to.
Peter will continue to go and see him on the same day he would have been coming to take him out, that's comforting for me because we have no-one other than me to go. I think I will go every other day.
Phew!!! More thoughts to keep me awake!
I'm going to the Alzheimer's meeting now, it's good to have them to talk to also.
Love Dee x
Hugs
Oh Dee. I realise how easy my life is by comparison at the moment when I see the trauma you are having. Sending big Hugs because I cannot help any other way. Love Maureen.x
Oh Dee. I realise how easy my life is by comparison at the moment when I see the trauma you are having. Sending big Hugs because I cannot help any other way. Love Maureen.x
Dear Dee
Your journey, Bronwen's and mine are identical!
mine even included the split lip by another patient.
It's a hellish disease and my heart goes out to you.
all I can do is send you love.
June
Your journey, Bronwen's and mine are identical!
mine even included the split lip by another patient.
It's a hellish disease and my heart goes out to you.
all I can do is send you love.
June
Dee I am so sorry for you both, I well remember the mixed emotions of initial relief at having the aggressive violent behaviour and sundowning removed and the following year on a section3 and not being able to even take Trev for a walk in grounds with out permission and loads of form filling and then the reality, had just typed a diary of events because I thought it might help you, but somehow it seemed wrong so did not post, but if I can help you in anyway please PM. My Trev is now taking Ebixa which allowed me to have him home and now no aggression at all .watch out for Haloperidol which is often used in these circumstances, it gave Trev terrible side effects. But just wanted to give you a little hope for the future.am thinking of you and totally understand how you are feeling. love pam
Thank you Pam, Dave has been on Ebixa for some time now, the only difference I noticed was that he took a slight interest in the TV again. The aggression, agitation and yes, awful sun-downing didn't change.
I've just returned from the Alzheimer's Carer's meeting, it's only a small group but like on here, the advice and experiences are so valuable, especially when your head's in a fog.
Hopefully I'll get a good night's sleep, problems may seem clearer tomorrow.
Love Dee x
I've just returned from the Alzheimer's Carer's meeting, it's only a small group but like on here, the advice and experiences are so valuable, especially when your head's in a fog.
Hopefully I'll get a good night's sleep, problems may seem clearer tomorrow.
Love Dee x
