Newbie and in need of support

[bubbins]

Hey...

I'm bubbins and I'm new to this forum. I was hoping I'd be able to have someone to talk to about what's going on.

Within the last 12 months, my nan was diagnosed with dementia. She's seen a consultant several times and the prognosis looked good for a while. She's been given medication to slow down the effects but now there has been a sharp decline.

It started out with little things... like, being a bit forgetful. But now it's escalated to putting things in random places and forgetting things more often. It's just.....horrible to see.

I don't really know what to do. I feel so helpless. I'm the sort of person who has to help no matter what. In this situation, I can't help and it hurts so much. I don't know what to do. I think her consultant needs to know but I have no way of telling them. I mean, when my nan goes there, she's not exactly going to tell him that she put my dinner in the compost bin? Or the she's putting plates in random cupboards?

What can I do? I don't think I can cope with this. I'm in the middle of a PGCE and my relationship with my boyfriend isn't going well. So, as you can see, I'm more than a little bit stressed.

Is there anyone who can help? Or offer some advice?

Many thanks,

bubbins

x

 

[Izzy]

Hi Bubbins. Sorry you had to find us but I'm glad you did. You are under a great deal of pressure and you need to step back and think of yourself. I am a headteacher so I understand the pressures of a PGCE course. I wonder if you should talk to the course director or someone to explain your circumstances. It might help.

Not sure if you have a mum or dad who are involved in the caring but if you do you need to make it clear to them how you are feeling. Maybe they could write to the GP with the concerns. I find that approach really helpful.

Lastly I just want to say that you are doing something. You are looking out for your nan and you are caring. Xx

 

[BeckyJan]

Hell Bubbins and welcome from me too.

I suggest you start a list of events/diary sort of thing listing the odd behaviours of your Nan. Then somehow you need to get that report to the Consultant. I did this for my husband and it was welcomed.

Does anyone escort your Nan to these appointments? It would be better if there was someone else there. It is common for a sufferer to be at their best when in different company making hard for others to understand the true situation.

Izzy has given you good advice about your own personal stress; it is important that you think of yourself at this time in your life.

 

[grove]

Hi Bubbins / Sorry about your Nan

Hi just wanted to say what you put about your feelings for your Nan i felt the a bit the same ( My Dad has Dementia approx 1- 2 years ) & i live nr my Parents wanted to help. Contacted Local Altz Group who were v good & support for all the Family. Do you live near your Nan ? ,if you can try & contact your local branch. Also you mightbe allowed to chat to your Nan" s Dr after the appt, after Dads been to Memory Unit i had a chat with his Dr. Hope that helps & good luck with your studies ! Love from Grove x x

 

[Helen33]

Dear Bubbins,

I would like to offer you a warm welcome to Talking Point. I remember knowing nothing about the kind of dementia that my husband had and how to manage it but I learnt everything I know from the people on here. It was a fantastic source of support and it still is.

I think it is important that any decline in your nan's condition ought to be monitored either by her GP, a Community Psychiatric Nurse or her consultant and it would be helpful if you kept a journal of all the things that you notice no matter how small.

I hope that you find the information and support that you are wanting.

Love

 

[Grommit]

Welcome Bubbins.

I do know exactly how you feel as I was the same when my wife was diagnosed.

Pure panic!!! How am I going to manage? What will happen next? How long before deterioration sets in and things start to go downhill?

I can only offer three bits of advice:-

1) Look out for yourself - you cannot control the situation if you work and worry yourself to a standstill.

2) Read as much as you can of the literature available from the Alzheimers society. I can guarantee that it will seem frightening to you but remember that these are written from experience. What they indicate may not necessarily happen to your Nan but it will help to clear some of the fog for you.

3) You are not alone. There are a lot of us out here struggling to make sense of what is going on and guidance is always available.

 

[bubbins]

Thank you all so much for your kind words. You have no idea how much this means to me... it has really brightened my day.

I'll talk to the PGCE co-ordinator and see what she says. I hope she'll be understanding

No doubt I'll be posting on here soon. Thank you all, once again, for your support. I hope I can be of some help to you all in the future.

bubbins

x

 

[piedwarbler]

Hi Bubbins

Welcome to TP. I'm a teacher too and I remember the PGCE year as the most difficult of my life that far... it must be additionally pressured given your personal circumstances.

It may help just to keep posting on here occasionally to see you're not alone.

xPiedx