Mum in hospital

[vdg]

Mum was ambulanced into hospital yesterday.She has a bad chest infection and UTI. Bad news for her as she has COPD
She was scared and muddled and confused.The sister on the ward has given me open visiting rights as she is only easy to cope with when I am there.She led them a merry dance yesterday when I went to get things from her care home for her. Visiting is usually just 2 hours in an evening which is when she wants to sleep so I am going this afternoon to help with her, things like feeding and keeping oxygen masks in place etc.She has a nebulaiser for the first time yesterday and was NOT impressed. Am going to take in the This is Me booklet toady-couldn't find it yesterday in all the panic.
I am wondering what sort of night they had with her.

 

[Vonny]

Sorry your mum's been taken ill, hospitals are never the best places for dementia sufferers.

But what a great hospital giving you open visiting rights, it's so good that you can go and help with her in the afternoon and I'm sure the nurses will be only too pleased to have some help.

I hope your mum had a good night - good luck for when you go and see her later xx

 

[lin1]

Hello
Im sorry to hear your mum is so poorly.
Its good to hear the sister has said you can visit outside of visiting hours.

I know how worried you must be , having one infection is bad enough, but uti, bad chest infection on top of COPD

When you can please let us know how mum and you are

 

[Sandy]

Hi vdg,

So sorry to hear about your mum going into hospital and the diagnosis of COPD.

Am going to take in the This is Me booklet toady-couldn't find it yesterday in all the panic.

Well done for having a This is Me booklet ready for such a difficult situation.

For TP members who haven't heard of this, it is a simple set of information about the person with dementia making it easier for the staff in hospital to understand their needs.

It was was first developed by the Northumberland Acute Care and Dementia Group and is being supported by the Royal College of Nursing. Members can read more about it and down load a blank form here:

http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents_info.php?documentID=1290

Hope your mother is feeling better soon.

Take care,

 

[vdg]

thank you for your messages
Mum is doing ok.I am able to spend any time I like there so have been there all afternoon and evening.The nurses are pleased I am there as it keeps her calm. I am allowed to help with feeding[when needed], oversee her swallowing tablets and keep watch while the O2 mask or nebuliser mask is on to make sure she keeps them on! They have been great about making sure I get regular cuppas tooThe nurses and HCA's have been great about keeping her clean too especially in the toiletting, this was something that had worried me.

When I handed in the This is Me booklet the sister was delighted her exact words were"Oh Good! we LOVE these they really do help us to care for our patient" so I would encourage anyone to fill one in and take it with you if a relative needs to go in to hospital.

Yesterday we had fun with an Argos catalogue looking at the pictures and furnishing our imaginary "dream home"-she enjoyed that.Today we are going to look for ideas for Christmas presents for the family[ photo album needed!] and to see if anything takes her fancy too.

Not sure how long she'll be in or what will happen next.Hopefully she can go back to her CH home and they will continue to look after her.They are building a new block for nursing care for dementia patients who need more care than the CH can give. I hope they open it asap in case we need it!

A spot of really good news is that we have had an offer on Mum's flat[ after 18 months on the market!)Not anywhere near what we hoped for but at least it means we can get on with the next stage of sorting things out and we know where we are at[ or soon will be] with her finances.Viv x

 

[ehhgjl]

Dad in hospital....

Hi really feel for you, dad been in 8 weeks now,but it really does help that we also can try and feed, give fluids and help with oxygen.
I guess the nhs cant really deny that request from us,as there are no such places as The Hospice when it comes to dealing with Alzeimers patients...Its fantastic that we have the above in place for other degenerative illnesses..but makes me so very determined to help support a society that wishes this also for our wonderful mums and dads...
All the very best to you...Be strong and of a good courage...

 

[nicoise]

Caring in hospital...

Dear All,

This is something I feel very strongly about - having made the mistake with my dad when he was in hospital and assumed that we shouldn't interfere, we then watched his decline as he didn't eat, drink or stay clean, and the ward staff were too busy to give him the time he needed. We probably wouldn't have made any difference to the final outcome, but I feel he was neglected.

Since then, I have made sure that any family member in hospital is better supported - and have been made welcome by the ward staff. It actually lightens their load, and once you know what to do and when it doesn't interfere with their medical or nursing care, it helps the situation.

When my daughter was in hospital, I took in additional food and stayed with her at mealtimes (how boring is eating alone?), washed her or helped with showers, and kept her company. I was also able to keep track of her medical treatment. But also left her alone when she'd had enough of me! And she was a teenager, without dementia.

But as we are all aware through our experiences with caring, how are the nursing staff going to find the time a dementia patient really needs - which as you know can be pretty much 24/7 at times excluding illness? Perhaps this again is an area we can make headway in improving the situation with regard to care for dementia patients in hospital - by forming an alliance with the nursing staff. I appreciate not everyone can give this time when someone is in hospital, but if it is possible it could make a difference for everyone even if just through educating staff about dementia.

Every little thing helps....

 

[Norrms]

Hiya

So sorry to hear about mum and i hope she has had a good night. proffesional staff need to realise and apreciate the expirience that carers have, this would improve things so much especially in hospitals, best wishes, Norrms and family xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Contrary Mary]

Sorry to hear that your Mum is in hospital but how refreshing to read that the staff really do seem to be working withyou in your Mum's best interests.

I left the staff to it last time as I only expected Mum to be in a very few days and I do regret this.

Previous to that Mum had been in the small community hospital and although the nurses were happy to let me in to help with feeding it didn't go down too well with the "management". I didn't get into an argument as Mum was being discharged the next day, after the message from the "Manager".

Hope all goes well with your Mum.

Mary
x

 

[vdg]

a bit of an update.....
Mum is still in hospital but may be allowed home in the next day or so.

She had a "being difficult" day yesterday and I am ashamed to say my patience went and I left after only an hour.The nurses were very understanding though. I simply couldn't take any more of being spat at, poked, and going through the same agitated questioning .

I honestly don't know how carers who have their loved ones 24/7 can cope with it all.I know I couldn't. I feel quite guilty about wanting her out of hospiatal and back into her care home where I know she will be looked after and I can go back to "normal" life. I a bad daughter I know

Not feeling at all good about things today and really dreading going back in to see her later on

 

[Grannie G]

Not feeling at all good about things today and really dreading going back in to see her later on

She will probably have forgotten all about yesterday. I hope so. xx

 

[cragmaid]

Keep visiting short.

If you were a bad daughter you would simply refuse to visit Mum. So obviously that is not the case. Hospitals are strange places and they have a weird effect on some people.
I'm quite lucky(??) because our local hospital is within walking distance of my house so I can make 2 or 3 short visits a day to Mum when she is in. This was not always the case though. I still found it better to keep visits short since even a hour can seem like a very long time especially if you are having to force a conversation. I used to say that I would only be staying half an hour because I had to "walk the dog" collect the kids or call at the shops when I get back" and I would stick to that time for my sanity. I was spared a bit by Mum having a lot of Church friends nearby who would take a turn in visiting. Good Luck.

 

[SheilaL]

You're not a bad daughter - just tired, anxious and worried sick about your mum. However, everyone, however how loving, has physical and psychological limits - and you've probably been under tremendous strain for some time.

I've seen my auntie decline during and after her hospital stay. Like many of the previous posters, I thought the staff knew best. They are just too short handed to deal with patients on a one to one basis all the time, and any dementia sufferer is like a child, demanding/needed constant care. No one is at fault. It's just this terrible illness which is a curse on longevity Big hugs xxx

 

[vdg]

she's out

Mum was allowed out of hospital last night. Unfortunately my car broke down on the way to get her but the hospital arranged transport and when I got to the ch to see her[ eventually!] she happily told me about the nice young men who had taken her to "this place". She has no idea she lived there before and was a bit worried about clothes etc but I managed to get her to understand that all her stuff was there even though she couldn't grasp how it all got there. She kept asking how long she'd be there and where she'd be moved to next. It must be very frightening for her ,having no memory of where she lives. She has also forgotten all about Dad and her own dad yet asks about her Mum even though she and Dad lived for each other and she was very close to her own Dad. How wierd this awful disease is

 

[vdg]

here we go again:-(

Mum was taken back into hospital by ambulance yesterday.

As I don't know how public this board is I won't give too much detail except to say I am very angry with the ambulance and hospital people .

 

[Christin]

I am so sorry to read your posts. I believe this message board is open for anyone to read, so just as well you withheld any private information.

I really hope the day gets better for you. Very best wishes. x

 

[piedwarbler]

Hi vdg

I am really sorry you had a bad experience with the ambulance people and the hospital. I think the government is thinking of fining hospitals if they readmit patients within a week of discharge. It seems like maybe she should not have been discharged before - is that what is troubling you? - or is it the way she was cared for?

I wonder if your local Alzheimers society rep could support you or maybe you could talk to PALS at the hospital to communicate your unhappiness. That's if you are considering taking it further? I always think it takes huge courage to comment on bad treatment at a time when all your energies are taken up with caring for your nearest and dearest and just trying basically to get through the day. I found it impossible to find the strength for both.

Hope things improve for you soon! x

 

[vdg]

Yes, I and the care home believe she was sent out too soon.The hospital say the ch have not looked after her properly. I am certain this is not the case.

Some of the comments from the ambulance crew were far from professional.They obviously tar all care homes with the same brush and they obviously did not want to take her back in as a "failed discharge" I had to be very firm that this is what they were going to do.